Hello I am writing just to vent and because I just wish I knew what to do. I have depression. I was on prozac but it made me a different person all together. I didnt like it. Plus I dont have insurance or a current prescription. But anyway I felt like reaching out tonight because my depression has hit an all time low. I just want to cry all the time the last two days. I just keep thinking I wish i had the courage to just run away and never be with anyone again. Leave it all, disappear. I wish I could just feel better without feeling like Im not myself, thats how the drugs make me feel. Anyone have this experence with prozac and have an alternitive med to try? I really need help tonight of course because of how I feel I am chain smoking and binging. No it dosent make me feel better, but then I just dont care. This is the worst I have ever felt. thanks for listening wish I knew what to do

Afriad I don't have any advice really. Just want to wish you the best in finding your way through this.

Talk to your doctor! There are a lot of different depression meds out there that could be a better choice for you. I was on Wellbutrin and then Cymbalta and both worked for me (the Wellbutrin was awesome, but it made my hair fall out - rare side effect- so I switched to Cymbalta). After 2 years on meds and therapy, I'm now off of them and learning to deal without them. I think the therapy and getting control of my weight problem were actually more effective than the medication.

I understand about not feeling like yourself. One of the reasons I wanted to go off of them was that I didn't really feel anything. I was so even-keeled emotionally speaking that it bothered me that things that should have made me sad didn't. Weird, right?

Anyway, I just wanted to chime in and let you know there is hope. Major depression is awful when you are in the depths of it, but you can get out and feel so much better.

I know you were writing just to vent, but I feel compelled to tell you a story. I don't know if you can relate to this story or not, and I may not even be why your depressed, but if so it may give you some hope.

(I wrote this before, on another post)
The reason I was depressed was because of my internal dialog. You can control it. Don't allow it to wander to negative areas.

I hope this helps. I will be praying for you.

Love, Kelli

Is there a free clinic you could go to and get cheap meds?

I take Wellbutrin and it helps to some degree. I also take fish oil capsules and exercise almost every day. Exercise definitely helps. So does exposure to sunlight. Make sure you at least get outside and take a walk around the block every day.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can help you stop the negative thinking. David Burn's The Feeling Good Handbook was recommended to me.

I was on a generic form of Zoloft for over a year while battling with an eating disorder. I spent a year in therapy. I one hundred percent think that the drug and the therapy need to go hand in hand. Too many doctors pass out the pills, but never do much follow up. Are you talking to someone about your depression? It's important to do so. Another option is that your dosage is not high enough... or too high, something you need to discuss with your doctor. Remember, it's your health and the doctor is your employee. Make them listen, and do not be afraid to call them with questions.
If you need something in the shot term, I'll sum up my mantra (aka, what I got out of therapy)....

Put down the proverbial baseball bat and stop beating yourself up.



hope this helps and pm me if you just need to talk/vent.

see if you can register at your hospitals clinic.

I prayed and prayed for God to give me the answer on how to be free from depression, and slowly but surely I began to understand you have to live in this moment, this moment right here and right now. Don’t look back and don’t worry about the next moment keep focused on this second. You can do anything for one second. You can decide to focus on the right things. Focus on how strong you are.

I like to watch anthropological shows, I guess I like to study people. I saw a show one time about four morbidly obese individuals. Two were bed ridden because of their addiction and all but one weighed over five-hundred pounds. When they talked about their weight and their addiction, they would all say things like “I can’t beat this thing”, and It has me beat. Everything about them was defeated, the negativity oozed out of them. They wore their pessimism and it was all over them. I watched the whole program none of them said one positive thing. They had been so beaten by the world, they could not see anything good.

When asked to describe why they ate so much, they went into great detail about their love for the act of eating, even talking about it made them excited. Without being asked such specific details, they each described every aspect of consumption of food. The feeling of eating, how it smelled and sounded as it was frying, how it looked on the plate they went to such detail about every phase of eating. How it tasted, the sensation of chewing and swallowing. They said their mouth was watering just talking about it. Their imaginations were rich and detailed.

Right before that show, was a show about young entrepreneurs. These people had not been beaten by the world, and I was struck by the contrast of the people in the two shows. The entrepreneurs, also had the same rich imagination. When asked what made them so successful. They talked about the fact that all their lives they could see themselves getting rich, they said they could taste it, and feel it. One talked about how he would drive his old beat up car above the big houses on the hill, and imagine himself walking around in the kitchen of one of the houses. Barbecuing in the back yard with the neighbors. I didn’t hear any negative comments, there was no doubt they would be rich someday. They would not allow themselves to think otherwise. They knew someday they would be successful. When they talked about their failures, and they all had them, every time they fell down, every time they had a setback, they would push the thought out of their minds and keep their eye on the prize.

You can’t necessarily say one group had more obstacles than the other. The only difference is they had been taught by the world that they were winners! They had obstacles but what they learned to make those obstacles work for them. When you dwell on negative thoughts you give them power, when you dwell on positive thoughts you release power to walk in victory.

When God first started talking to me about thinking positive, and imagining good things happening instead of always dwelling on the bad, I kept telling Him I don’t have an imagination, I can’t do that. Then He showed me how rich my imagining was. I could imagine eating in great detail. Or if my husband was a little late getting home, I could Imagine he was in some devastating car crash. Oh yes it was very easy for me to imagine negative things, and Satan had me convinced I had no imagination.

Paul had a strategy, for dealing with negative thoughts. he says in
II Corinthians 10:3-6 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. 4 For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, 5 casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, 6 and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled.

Capture those bad thoughts, you just have to fight for this moment. Every victory you have makes you stronger. When you make a mistake, don't let it defeat you, don't think about those moments, only this moment right now.

Love, Kelli

I'm certainly glad you did come here to post. Tonight I just discovered this wonderful 3fatchicks website/forums and am glad I did.

YES! This is pretty much the same thing that happened to me on Prozac. Prozac was the first anti-depressant that my doc put me on. This has been a couple of years ago. The first 3 months were great. Really great, to tell the truth. I felt good; I lost a little weight; I was actually almost happy. But then, like within the course of a week, I felt like I went stark ravin' nuts. I felt crazy. The only words I could think of to describe it to my doc was to say that I felt like someone was holding my brain in their hands and they were pulling it apart. That was me--coming apart at the seems.

And of course, within all that, I was weepy/crying all day long, didn't want to get out of bed, slept 16 hours a day....you know the drill. Doc changed me over to Celexa and that worked really really well for a long time.

Do you have anyone that can write a prescription for you? I hope you do.
I know that you posted this several days ago. i just now found it. I hope you'll come back and read this so that you will know that you are most definitely not the only one who's had this experience with prozac. Sure, you have depression, but if the Prozac's not working for you, as terribly bad as you feel right now, know that this is temporary. Find a way to get a prescription for something else. I'll be thinking about you and praying for you, hon. I'll come back here and check to see if you written anything else. I hope you're okay.

BK

About the insurance. I lost my job nearly 1.5 years ago and have not had insurance. I came down with very bad depression (I had it before, but losing the house and my livelyhood made it worse). I went to the food bank and they had a medical service there-- I explained that I cried all the time and everything else (never say you want to "do away with yourself"). They gave me a few perscriptions of an anti-depressant, and also a referral to a low cost clinic. It took about 4 months for my appointment to come up, but I went, talked to the Nurse Practitioner, and was given half a year's worth of perscription, and I will go back for the other half a year. The perscription (a generic anti-depressant) works very well and I am more able to deal with job hunting and the other misfortunes of life.

My advice to you is that you are not alone. A pill is only a bandage. This may sound obvious, but you need to take care of the thing or things causing you to be depressed. For me this meant getting a job, getting schooling so that I was not constantly under-employed. I know that there are other issues to deal with, but my immediet needs are to get to work and start my life again.

You Can get your medications again, and there are people who will help you get them. You need to seek out help.