I hope everyone had a nice St Patricks day...I forgot and wasn't wearing green so I got a few pinches! :(

Momof4 you are absolutely right, I'm already looking back at my life and thinking about how much time I waste because of my disorder and depression. I've been taking zoloft for a little over a month and my doc just increased the dosage so hopefully that willl help

Bojo I'm with you on the fun, relaxing hikes! 'I like to move it' is one of my workout songs! :) I still haven't found a workout that I love yet so I keep switching it up to stay motivated. I'm trying to save up enough cash to get a wii system so I can do the wii fit.

Hope4me I'm glad you are having a bit of time to yourself-I'm with you on the cleaning. My closets are so messy and unorganized I could probably get a workout in just trying to straighten everything up..

Lots of hugs and hellos to everyone else. I can't believe this is happening especially during Spring Break, but I think I'm getting sick. I'm going to get some rest, ttyl

Hi Everyone...bad day yesterday stress wise but I am better today..straightening up the house some because hubby is coming back tonight..hope all of you are well..

Momof4, I can look at my life too and think about the wasted time because of this illness, I just want to embrace life and enjoy each and every ounce I can of it..

Hey all - just wanted to say hi and then I'm off to a hot bath. Loooonnnnggg day and I'm ready to drop!

Hey girls...what a day!!! I did soo awful on my plan yesterday so I though I needed to do some extra stuff today. I got school done and got all the kids dressed. Loaded the girls up in the double stroller and off we went. Man I am not in shape at ALL!! about two blocks down my calves were burning. The double stroller I have is like a tractor and trailer it is like 7 years old. I am thankful for it because it keeps my girls from running off and gives me even more of a work out. So I figured if I walk a block more every few days that will help increase my workout!! I was nice...The kids loved it I felt great. Something other than sitting in the house. I wish I did it every day...I am hoping it stays warm so I can do it more!! Did ok on eating!!

MY foster daughter and I got in an disagreement. My husband has been into cooking and wanting to cook all this stuff and I told him no because if it is in the house I eat it. I am not far enough into this to be like ok eat cakes and candy in front of me I dont want it. I dont want it but I dont always have the control to not do it. So I told him no I desperately need to lose weight and am motivated so baking all kinds of stuff is NOT helping. Its like taking and former alcholic whos only been sober for a few weeks and put them in a bar. That is setting them up to fail. WELLL ANYWAY.....i was like NO your not making them and she was like its called control and I was like DONT even start because you have NONE...she was like well I am not the one on the diet...and I said well you should be. I never make fun of her weight I try to cut her portions and not just let her clean out all the stuff on the supper table. She is 15 and almost 200 lbs. Its because she dont care and just eats eats and eats. They sent the paper home from school that I have to take to the dr because shes over weight.

So anyways I am gonna go the baby is crying I will catch up lata

Hola.
 

Hello, having a panic moment here :(

I'm really nervous... I've finally got up the courage to make an appointment with my doctor to see if I can get any help with my depression. In my past I was locked up in a psychiatric hospital for almost a year and force fed meds that gave me fits. When I got out I swore I would cope on my own no matter what rather than risk that again but now I'm just not doing very well at all.

I'm so worried about the whole thing I feel sick, I'm not worried I'll end up in hospital again, no doubt they had their reasons back then. But I just don't know what I'm going to say, don't really know how to ask for help... and am also thinking they'll just think I'm trying to "pull a sickie" and that there's nothing wrong with me...after all, depression isn't something you can prove with a blood test or anything.

Sometimes I really wish life was something you can just opt out of. I don't see the point of trying so hard the whole time, for what... to exist. Apologies for putting the negatives out there but of all places this is probably the one where people will know what I mean.

Take care everybody

Oh mimzy, I know exactly how you feel. Some days you just want to go to sleep and not bother getting up. I've been there more times than I can count. I wish I could be there (even though we don't really know each other - the depression is such a strong link when you find someone else that feels the way you do) to help you through this time. You poor soul.

Try to think of 3 things to be grateful for. For me today it is the clear morning, my son's positive attitude while going to school (I think that's the first time in his entire educational career - ha ha) and lastly, it's THURSDAY! One more day to the weekend!

When you go to the doctor just be as honest as you can. It's best to tell him, if you trust him/her, anything that could help them get you the appropriate help you need.

:hug:

awww mimzy...it is hard and it sucks when you feel like you will never get out of it.
I had my dr appt today. I just flat out asked him if we could add a small dosage of lexapro for my moods. I said my energy has been up and dont want to just sleep all the time but its like I am never happy I am always ticked off about something even when there is nothing to be ticked off about. Lexapro worked great for my moods before just made me more sleepy. So hopefully the wellbutrin will over ride the sleepiness. Every time I have taken Lexapro I can feel it later the day I take it. Like right now I am just peacefull not ready to knock peoples head of. I am just happy....I dont know whatever it takes. I remember before I got on meds I fought it because I thought it was a bad thing to do but I am glad now I am taking them.
I busted my teenage fosterdd smoking before school. I went and sat in the parking lot and watched for her....yeah....they still are like how did you know. I am like remember i know most everything...LOL..Her friends are like shes stalking you...shes like NO shes like a mom detective...she knows everything...LOL Ok well catch you all lata

Momof4-Teenagers....yikes.Funny story you will enjoy I bet.I have an 18 year old who we bought a car for 2 years ago with strict rules that he was only one to ever drive it.Well, one day I was driving home for lunch and saw him coming towards me on his lunch hour from school.he passes me and I see him......in the passenger seat.So, I called his cell and he answered.I asked him what he was doing and he said going to McDonalds for lunch.I told him to pull the car over, get in the drivers seat and to drive home immediately and park the car for a month.He paused and asked "Mom...........where are you?"I replied............."Dude, I am everywhere".Now with 2 teenagers and 1 preteen and have many more stories.But just wanted you to know I feel your pain.

harrismm-that is awesome!!! I think teens underestimate us because we are "older" LOL.

Yeah I took my lexapro when I got home last night at like 6 and I could not sleep. I was completely exhausted my eyes burnt but my brain would not shut down. I tried my music cause it usually helps and it didn't I laid in bed from 12:30-3:30. I was too tired to go do anything else but I couldnt sleep. It would have been ok I could have slept in but my foster dd called and was like your gonna be mad. I was like what...shes like my shoes broke can you bring me another pair. I was like are you kidding me.....So I had to get up and go get her a pair!!!

Ok well thats about it.....Extremely COLD today with snow flurries.

ttyl

Mimzy :grouphug: I'm so sorry you are feeling so bad. I hope the dr.s visit helps. I have been there and felt like life was a complete waste of effort, since it seems to be so much of an effort at times. But as you probably have experienced, every feeling comes and goes and so will this one. Hopefully sooner than later. :hug: Check in and let us know you are ok. :hug:

I was thinking tonight about what the next big milestone in my life is and it is turning 40 in 2 years. (aside from my 20 year class reunion this summer that I'm ignoring ;)) I would like to feel better about myself then and be healthy. If I start working on it now I could make that happen. I need to set some goals, gosh I haven't done that in a while. I would also like to get out of debt. :o

Anybody doing anything this weekend?

Hi all,

Thanks for the support, I really appreciate it. Sometimes it does just seem that this is forever, when it's been so many years and every day is a struggle but I try to just keep looking forward and staying positive that things can one day change for the better. The doctors thing didn't work out, they messed up my appointment time and told me I'd just have to try and make another appointment next week :?: When I got annoyed the receptionist finally had the good grace to offer me another appointment at a later time in the day but I had carefully scheduled my time to fit in the earlier appointment so it was no good. So it was all a big waste of time :(

BoJo, you're right, it does help to look around and find little things that are good in your life. I went for a walk early this morning and it was one of those warm misty mornings, it was calming.

Momof4, I kinda felt the same about meds and not wanting to take them, it's a tough one. Sorry you had a bad night, it's horrible I know, when you're desperately tired but your brain just won't switch off and let you sleep.

Hope, that's a good idea, you can work out a two year plan and if you stick to it your 40th will be really memorable. Me too on the debt thing... I really need to sort myself out and start paying some stuff off but I'm just rubbish at being organised.

Sassy, it sucks when the nice weather only shows up when you've got to work... hope you got some good weather for your weekend this time! Sorry to hear about your DH's aunt, I hope she recovers.

Hi to everyone else, hope you all have a good weekend :hug:

Hi Mimzy, Big :hug:Thanks I had at least one nice day off so that was good. ;) MIL called, DH's Aunt is not doing well at all and probably is going to die, she doesn't want the drs to do anything to make her better. :(

Take Care.

:hug:

I want chocolate so badly... and entire packets of biscuits... and not to feel blue today :-( I should get some exercise but I feel so sleepy... I soooo don't want to go back down the depressed road again. Rah!

Hmmm, I can't believe the weekend is almost over. Hugs to everyone who needs them. Sassy Chick your avatar and sig is too cute! I'm feeling sleepy too Cuddly, I haven't worked out all weekend! I have zero energy right now. It's not even 6:30 but I'm ready for bed

Hey all! :wave:

I'm back, and had a wonderful, sunny, lazy vacation! Naturally, I ate too much and didn't move enough, but back at it right?? *sigh* :lol:

Hope all of you are doing well - stuff to sort for getting back to work tomorrow, so I haven't read through all the posts - sorry!

Heather :D

Welcome back Heather. Taking a vacation sounds so awesome. Glad you enjoyed it.

I'm up too late. I do have to work in the morning. Oh well, sosdd. Hugs to all who need them. :hug:

Thanks, Hope! :hug:

I feel strong and back on track - I've motivated myself for a 10-week plan (to the end of May) so I am telling myself - Heather, you can do ANYTHING for 10 weeks! :lol3:

How's everybody else??

Heather :D

Whew... terrible pms has suddenly set in. I feel like there is an elephant sitting on my chest and I'm so annoyed at everything and nothing at the same time. I'd rather chew nails than go to my tax prep job tomorrow.

Heather, I admire the goal setting, maybe you should do some planning for me since I seem to only be good at avoiding and slacking.

Well, I'm going to get off here and concentrate on breathing.

I am feeling sooooo much better the lexapro is really helping....once my body gets used to it again I dont think it will make me sick. It hasnt made me feel sleepy at all but also I think the welbutrin helps. I actually feel happy. I dont feel like I am constantly yelling or mad over everything. I am not constantly annoyed and aggrivated. Its such a wonderful feeling to be in a good mood most all day!!! EVEN WITH 5 KIDS 3 of which fight, scream, cry and throw temper tantrums about every 15 minutes...LOL OK long day not a lot to say just checking it....ttyl

Can I come home now?

The last 10 weeks have been, well... bad. I've missed you guys, but I couldn't a) find the time to come here and check in or b) drag myself out of my depression enough to admit I needed to.

I promise I'll try not to disappear again. I hope you all are surviving the winter!

Hope - are you surviving the tax season?

Amarie

Totally missed you amarie!!!! Glad your back!!

Yay Amarie! :yay: I've wondered where you were. I almost pm'd you a couple of weeks ago to see if you were still alive. I figured you were busy with school. Sorry about the depression. Any particular reason or just lucky? ;) I only have 3 weeks left to go in tax season. :carrot: I'm only there 5 hrs a week now so it's basically just an annoyance at this point. Tell us what's been going on. Do you have spring break soon?

Hi everyone and welcome back Amarie! Thanks for the reminder Hope I need to go ahead and get my taxes done! Not much is going on with me (as usual) My sleeping has been kind of random lately. I wake up really early in the morning but can't go back to sleep. I'm trying to go with the flow and either clean, workout, or study for the lsat while I'm up....I've heard studies that say there's a connection between sleep and weight loss.
Happy Wednesday everyone, tttyl

Good morning!

amarie good to see you back. So sorry to hear things haven't been great tho. Spring is a come in, or so they tell me.

Nothing new here. Thankfully its warming up and the melt is starting. I think the celexa is working some plus the nicer weather is helping I'm sure. On mon when I saw my counselor she said I looked "brighter" so thats good.
Hope, I still haven't done our taxes yet, I've had all the info for ages, but I do have until April 30th. No sense rushing into these things.;)

Well take care everyone and have a good day,
K

Well I started the video 30day shred with jillian....yep totally killed me...I only stopped a few times but I pushed thru. I have been concentrating on my eating so much that I have not done much excercise so its time to do that now...I guess thats how it works. Nothing much going on here other that screaming fighting kids!!! GOTTA LOVE IT!! ok lata

Hiya - thanks for the welcome back chickies!

Ugh - Hope! don't remind me I only have 3 weeks to do my taxes. hahaha. I'm usually one of those people that files the week I get my W2s, but not this year! Mine are going to be complicated too, with income in two states, and wierd moving stuff, etc. I'm glad you'll get a break, though, when its over!

Buddly - more or less just Lucky, I guess ;) I dropped my exercise habit when my schedule went all kookoo, and without that, my meds aren't enough to stabilize me, I guess. Plus, I moved closer to school so I gon't get the daily bike ride I was getting at the old place. I'm glad the celexa is working for you! How are A, B, and C?

Mof4 - :hug: yay! on the SHRED!! :carrot: The first day of a new workout always kciks my bum. Hm, I should probably work on getting my bum kicked, come to think of it!

Btrflygrl - When do you plan to take the LSATs? Prepping for those big tests always drives me batty. No wonder your sleep is eratic with all that studying. Anymore, I sleep in chunks whenever I can between bouts of studying. Haha, I made it sound like the flu... apt comparison.

Anywho, I'm actually in spring break this week. Sortof. My program has SO much reading, that the only way to really make it through the quarter is to get a head start on it all before classes begin, so that's my plan. Read until I'm cross-eyed! At least I can drive out to the beach to do it if I choose. ;)

I remembered to take my meds this am, hooray! For a while I was back at the stage of depression where I couldn't seem to remember to take them everyday, which of course only makes it worse. Normal rituals seem to be one of the first things to go for me...

Anyway, I better run - Thanks all for welcoming me home.

:hug:

Amarie

Oooh - all my chickies are a-hiding!! Come out, come out... wherever you are!

I'm doing well - on plan, back to my running - s'all good in my world this week, thank goodness!

Sending hugs to those who need 'em today! :grouphug:

Heather :D

Hi girls,

I have cramps and pms. Need I say more?

Heather, I can't even imagine getting on track. It is such a distant and foreign thing at this point. I can see some exercise, but eating right? Nope, can't even imagine it.

did well on the 30ds yesterday I think I might do it today or next week start everyday cause I am not as sore and it was easier yesterday. I mean it was work but I think I only too like a second break!! nothing much here house work. blah...ok lata

Hi chickies

Hi Heather! Good to see you :)

I am sitting in front of my happy lite, drinking my coffee (with which I took my Pzac) chatting with my favorite chickies... the dy looks bright. In a bit I will walk to the office (its only like 20 min) and work on some projects.

Yesterday I did yard work, and boy did it kick my fanny! I am OUT OF SHAPE. Time to fix that. My plan for the quarter: start running again (from scratch), yoga twice a week, and walk the dogs at least 3 times a week (they need it as much as I do!) I think I can handle it, in fact I know I can.

Laters!

Hello Peeps!

Amarie! Yay! Good to see you! Sorry you have been feeling bad though. I haven't been around much either. MIL is in town and keeping us busy...plus, I am still walking the puppies...well one puppy right now, but he is my fave one! :) I have a horrible cold/flu/don't know what the **** it is but it has knocked me on my butt for the last couple of days... Just trying to breathe is a chore, so sitting here drinking my tea...ugh.. I even had to bow out of a glass bottom boat ride this morning because I just wasn't up to it. Also, our DVR crapped out and we have had a huge drama with DH trying to get the new system up and working, our living room looks like a disaster area!

Good news is I have returned to my previous workouts (well, when I'm not dead sick anyway) and have dropped a couple pds so far. I backed off while working my program for the sugar addiction, thinking my exercise my trigger me, but what I have discovered is that as long as I balance the workouts with relaxation/meditation it balances me just fine. I am also returning to keeping a closer eye on the calories to see what is going on there.

Sorry guys...the couch is calling...hope everyone is having a good weekend.

Raven

Hello, I can't believe the weekend is almost over. I worked and other than that didn't do much but at least I finally got to catch up on some sleep. I don't have a date for the test yet but I'm giving myself plenty of time to study for sure! Hope4me, I hope you are feeling a bit better now...thank goodness it only comes once a month! Momof4under5 keep up with the good work, I've heard ppl have great results with the 30ds! I'm trying to start working out again too Amarie. I'm hoping it will help with my depression! Raven I hope you feel better soon.
Well take care everyone, I'm out!

Yeah this week I am going to hammer the 30ds!!

We watched mosters vs alien 3D today. My 4 and 6 yr old loved it!! It was good!!

Been a long day way way tired so I am gonna go I am gonna crash soon!!

Yello all.

I could NOT wake up this morning - I think I hit the snooz alarm for over an hour. Wow. 'Course I was up most of the night - dogs kept wanting outside, etc.) Then I read from about 2-4am, so I suppose that could be why I was still tired this morning ;)

No real plan for the day - just gonna see what happens. I'll work on planning later:)

See yas! Oh, and Happy Monday!

Hi all! :wave:

Sorry - crazy busy day - thinking of you, my chickies! Will check in properly tomorrow! ;)

Heather :D

had a break down today. I missed some meds over the weekend here and there. Was busy and just forgot. I have done great with meds until this weekend. Well today I did nothing and felt like crap ate like crap. I have been drinking pepsi and eating junk. I did awesome for like almost 4 weeks then my dd start cooking all the time and not really caring how much calories and then he did try but he still kept making a LOT of stuff and every day i would screw up so I just gave up. I was tired of feeling crappy and guilty for eating stuff I shouldnt. So when he got the recipe to make the pork he told me how many calories and I was just like I dont care. Hes like mom thats no way to be. I was like whatever. So he came over and asked why I was feeling like that and I told him so he is going to start tracking his calories also and eat healthy. I am afraid though because it took me some time to get up the momentum and motivation to do it I dont know if I can get it back. Just very frustrated...ok lata

Oh I hate Mondays! I'm so tired, but I've gotta keep pushing myself! I did an hour on the treadmill earlier this morning and I'm already sore....I Really need to get into shape! I can't believe it's almost the end of the month. I'm off to do some laundry and try to prep for tomorrow
xo

Well Chickies,

I am indeed feeling better this morning... I am still taking the Zicam...I credit that stuff for this mess not going down into my chest like it did the last time! Today being Monday I had to get up and get DH off to work...yes...that means 5 am! I made his lunch and everything...how cool am I? :P I also had my one dog to walk today and that split up my day really nice. It was a nice 30 min hillwalk followed by some wonderful yellow lab love...aww...who wouldn't feel better after that! I came home, had lunch, and took a siesta for a good chunk of the afternoon. But! I have been slowly getting my laundry caught up and had change the sheets because of all the germs and snot! EWWWW!!! So, I still sound horrible voice wise but feeling about a million times better...my energy has still taken a hit but I figure that will just take a little more time!

MO4- You are really brave to go to the Monsters Vs Aliens movie! The last kid movie I went to was Race to Witch Mtn (mmmm Duane Johnson...) and this horrible family behind made tons of noise...and the one little girl actually stuck her hand on the back of my head! All I could think of was...buttery popcorn or sticky candy all over my newly colored hair!!! UGH!!!

Amarie....oh Amarie...WAKE UP!!! hehehe Sorry, had to be done! :)

Good to see ya Heather!

Thanks for the thoughts butterflygurl!

Gotta go get some dinner...at least I can taste (mostly) today!

Raven

Hi everybody, :wave:

I had the day off today. I spent it with df. We saw a movie and ate out tonight. I feel bad b/c I have a friend coming to town this weekend so I should have spent it cleaning. One day off just isn't enough. If you relax you don't get anything done that you need to do. If you clean the house you are upset b/c you didn't have any free time on your day off. Whine, whine, whine.

Hope you all had a good day today.