My life just ended.
 

Alright. Well, I guess this is a strange post for me. I haven't felt depressed in forever, but have been taking anti-depressants since I was in sixth grade. I go to a therapist every so often, because until just today, my parents thought I was doing great. Oh yeah, thats another thing. I'm only fourteen. xD But anyway, so things were going well for a while. And then, today, I decided to 'come out' of my agnostic closet.

Now my mom always told me she would accept me no matter what, and that she would always love me. My dad didn't really say those type of things, because well, he is too manly for it. But today while we were in the parking lot of Kroger, I finally dropped the bomb on her. I don't believe in God.

Now, I have know this for a couple of years. All my friends, classmates, ect. know about it, and most of them accept it. So I guess in my mind nothing is wrong with it. But when I told my mother, all she could do is cry. I understand that, its a big deal for her.... But... Some things just hurt me too much. She told me she would rather me have told her I was a lesbian or pregnant. That she could accept that better. My father won't look at me anymore, he won't say anything to me. He yelled at me when I first told him when we got home, and then again when I got the mom from outside when he was raking leaves. My mom also called the preacher of our church, and he is coming later this evening to talk. Thankfully, Joseph is pretty cool, and I hope he will help calm my mom down.

I'm not wanted in this house right now. My mom still loves me, I know it, she has said it. My dad however has made it quite clear though that he doesn't want me around. But I can't go anywhere. I'm only fourteen! I can't even drive... So I don't know what to do.


...


Sorry for the 'emo' rant. But now onto how this affects my weight loss.

I know it hasn't been a day yet, but I can't eat. I should be hungry, I haven't touched a thing all day and its three p.m. But I won't eat. I cleaned the whole house, and keep moving. I keep thinking 'I don't want to eat at school tomorrow. I don't deserve food right now. I don't deserve anything'. I am afraid I'm going into a short phase of anorexia. And this has happened before - the next stage is an all out binging fest.... Whats a girl to do?

Long Awaited Edit ::

So I kind of left the thread for a while, and I almost forgot I had posted it. So sorry for keeping people hanging waiting for a response, but life took hold of me. Some people commented how I said 'Agnostic Closet' and 'I don't believe in God.' I don't believe in the Christian God. I don't know, and am confused about whether or not their is a God of other sorts. Whether it be Venus or Buddha, ect. Just thought I'd clear that up. :] Anyway, here is what happened that evening;;

The preacher, Joseph, who came over said he wanted to talk to my parents alone. I was in my room, chewing on my nails and trying my hardest to keep my cool. Two hours later I had calmed down a bit, and I heard my mother coming. During their talk I had heard a few words, a laugh or two, and something I couldn't distinguish between crying or giggling. But anyway, once she came in she apologized to me. She said she was sorry for the way she had overreacted, and that she loved me very much. I went to the dining room where my dad and Joseph were. He smiled, talked to me for a bit, and gave me his card if I ever needed to talk.

Needless to say, I was overwhelmed with joy. My father still wouldn't talk much to me, but over the past week he slowly has gotten back into the habit of it. I felt sooooo relieved when I went to school that week. For once it wasn't just school mates and friends that knew of my beliefs, it was my parents. My sister still doesn't know, as she is only ten and wouldn't understand, so its somewhat awkward around her. My mother still chokes up when my sister mentions God or church when I'm around, but its better.

Thank you all so much for showing your concerns. You have no idea how much it helped me. I am so glad this community is full of such caring people.Thank you.

Just breathe. The best advice I can give your right now is to just sit it out. Things seem really bad right now, but this is just temporary. Find something to occupy your mind for a little while, and give everyone a chance to cool down. You'll be okay.

Religion is a touchy topic to many people because it's so personal. Even to parents. I was raised in a Catholic church, went to a Catholic school (elementary-college), and I don't believe in god, either. My parents weren't too happy when I mentioned it either, but I just gave them time. I know it's bad right now, but they'll get over it--even your dad. It just takes time.
My best advice for you right now is to maybe go exercise for a little while--do some running--and clear your head. It'll make you feel better and you'll be able to think more clearly.

I hope everything gets better for you :hugs:

Just remember that whether you believe in God or not, He believes in you, and He'll see you through this tough time. I'm sorry you're feeling down and I hope you won't let it break your determination to reach your goals.

That is really intense. My partner would be better able to relate, she came out as a lesbian at 18 to her preacher father and housewife mother and then later that year officially renounced the christian faith. It was really difficult for me to watch her go through that with her family, the whole... or as it seemed to me 'I love you but not who you are...' (Is that how it feels for you?) Five years later, we still struggle with this issue and her parents. Enough about us, more about you-...if you are worried about being thrown out check in with your school counselor, no joke, it may sound lame to a few but they are in touch with valuable resources. Everything from crisis workers and advocates, like me, or support groups for teens needing empowerment or parents who need to learn to deal.

Keeping cool can be an asset to, you may just need to hang tight and wait for the shock and grief to set aside. While waiting, take the time to take care of yourself. Do what you do to chill and be happy, otherwise you may lose the valuable ground you've gained in getting healthy.

Kelly - Thanks. Yeah, things are pretty tense right now. I know it will take time. Sometimes just hearing it from someone else though can help a lot. Thank you.

CeCe - Yeah. I want to go for a walk very badly right now, but I'm not aloud to go out of the house. >-> I'll probably just do 30DS, just because I get to punch a lot. Thanks for your story though. That reassures me quite a bit. Than you! -hugs-

Reddalice - Thats how I feel right now, yes. Very much so. My mom keeps telling me she loves me, but also that she is worried about me. The worst part is she seems to think I want to change. But I really and truly don't. Too many people have tried to convert me, they aren't going to have any luck. But yeah, I keep trying to tell myself that starving and then eating a whole house won't make me feel better. Just because they are angry doesn't mean I need to give up.

I'm so sorry. It's awful to feel rejected by your parents. Right now, they are hurt and confused and don't know what to do, so they are behaving badly. They probably also feel like they've failed--some parents think that being a good parent means creating children who are just they are!

First of all, you're 14, so I doubt that they can kick you out without getting in trouble themselves. *IF* that happens, go to a police station or, if you know where it is, your city/town/county health and human services office. Or speak to a guidance counselor at school. Any of these places can get you in touch with a social worker who will work with your folks to resolve this. As a general rule, unless there's blatant abuse going on, the government likes families to stay together. You might also be able to get some help from your family's church. I'm not crazy! I'm a preacher's kid. I can't imagine my folks turning anyone away for being a "nonbeliever."

You and your parents would benefit from some counseling. If you're on antidepressants, you've got to be seeing a psychiatrist. Call the office and ask for a referral for a family therapist and ask your parents to go with you. Maybe they will and maybe they won't, but you could use some support.

Everyone I know, regardless of what faith they belong to or whether they believe at all, has gone through periods of doubt and disbelief. There's no proof. That's why it's called FAITH, not fact. Maybe you just don't resonate with your particular church and would feel more comfortable with a different denomination. Maybe you would like to explore a different belief system altogether (e.g., Buddhism is a nontheistic religion). You're 14! You get to question and work this out for yourself.

In the meantime, do what you can to take care of yourself. Eat well, get some exercise, rest.

Also, please eat something. I know right now, when you're so upset, you probably don't feel as if you could eat, but maybe if you ate a little something, you might feel better. Regardless of any difference of opinion you have with anybody in the world, it doesn't make you a bad person and it certainly doesn't mean you don't deserve to nourish yourself. Please don't apologize for expressing your feelings either; this forum is a place where we can all encourage each other, and most people don't need to be encouraged when they're happy, they need it when they're down.

If I may be so bold: when your family's pastor comes over, maybe try to talk to him alone, without your parents in the room. I would guess you'd be able to speak more freely with someone a little less judgemental that way. I hope you skies clear up and a compromise can be reached within your family very soon.

Mags - Yes, my mother keeps asking if she failed me. I keep telling her no, that whether she was the perfect mom or not, I still would have a mind to question things. I do see a therapist, normally we go every couple of weeks, but I was doing so good that they decided to skip a couple months. Well, now I bet that will change. We have an appointment on Friday, and we always talk a bit with my mom and me together. So hopefully it'll be easier. Thank you for your advice though. It helps me a lot.

Rosie - I know I should eat. When I get under stress though, I can't eat. I might try something very tempting though, like goldfish. Its not healthy, but I'm pretty sure if I at least eat something it'll trigger my hunger and I'll eat some fruit. And yes, my mother talked to him, and he wants to speak to me alone. Thank you again. :]

:hug::hug: You need to eat something just so you don't swing the other way & binge later. Even if you don't feel like eating, have something healthy & choke it down. You are in control of yourself--you beliefs & your body. This doesn't have to ruin what you've been working for.

Next, there is nothing wrong with not believing in god. That doesn't make you an awful person. There are many of us out in the world. This is a good time to explore what you do believe. If you don't believe in any god or goddess, you are an atheist. If you just don't know one way or another, you are agnostic. I'm sorry your family is making you feel bad. I hope their preacher is able to calm them down & perhaps remind them what Jesus would do in this situation--I doubt he'd be portrayed as yelling, kicking children out of his home, & damaging them emotionally :D. There are many paths you can take & not believing in god doesn't mean that you don't have a spiritual side to your life. Is there a Unitarian Universalist church in your area http://www.uua.org/visitors/index.shtml ? They are open to all faiths including those of us who lack a faith. They concentrate more on good works & social & environmental responsibility than god. Maybe if your parents saw you were still going to a church they would be more accepting. I hope things work out for you.

Off-topic:

Amyk0202, what does the bit with the little animated smileys on your signature mean? I'm kind of new to a lot of the short-hand on this forum.

P.S. TOTALLY agree with the statement that Jesus wouldn't kick a child out on the street, etc. You are absolutely right.

You are supposed to have doubts at your age. I can't believe your parents are overreacting so much. They should be glad you have a mind of your own. Things like this is why religion scares me. And I do believe in God.

Hang in there. There is nothing at all wrong with you. I hope your parents lighten up. I think their behavior is shameful.

It means I have one 10 year old daughter (dd-dear daughter), one 7 year old son (ds-dear son), one 6 year old son, and one 3 year old son :D.

Hi! Listen, I can relate. I'm a 49 y/o woman and I had trouble telling my mom FIVE YEARS AGO that I'm an agnostic! I went to church until I was 44 freaking years old and I never believed any of it ever - even as a child.

Just know that there are MANY MANY OUT HERE LIKE YOU! It might take you awhile to find like-minded people because many don't go around pronouncing it but if you look you will find many lovers of rational thought out there. HANG IN THERE.

Congratulations on being true to yourself, I know it takes a lot of courage at y our age -- which I sure didn't have when I was 14! When I was 14 I got confirmed, cuz I was too big of a chicken to say I didn't believe in it.

PS -- Sit down and eat something healthy -- be good to yourself, don't punish yourself, you haven't done anything wrong.

I agree with above post.What is interesting is that only 16% of people are either agnostic or atheist.Over 90% of scientists are.Scientists are interested in facts and believe what they see.You are a free thinker and obviously very intelligent.I have been agnostic for many years.I am always very careful when discussing religion with anyone because I know how sensitive people are about this subject.I believe what I do and certainly respect that most believe differently.I have any idea...........go into a science profession.You would be an asset!!!!Hang in there.I have 3 teenage boys and can also understand how it feels to be a mother.I think your parents may feel like they failed you somehow.Reassure them.You will all get through this.

As a mother my first impulse is the dad is a total jerk, BUT, he has probably had it pounded into his head from age 0 that anybody who doesn't believe a certain religious storyline is doomed to ****, damnation, whatever....or possessed by devils or some such nonsense. I mean he is coming from a place of fear and indoctrination himself, so you can't even blame him. It's just a sad story all around and I think much more common than people think.

I have seen that 16% figure and I have to say that I think it is under-estimated, because you have to count in the people who are just going through the motions and not making waves....after I "came out" I was shocked at the number of people that said, "oh I don't actually believe this...but it would cause too many problems in my family so I just go along." Someone I always assumed was a devout Mormon told me that, I about fell off my chair. And about half the people in my old parish including one who had been in the seminary at one point!

You might be right.I actually got those figures from Bill Maher, I believe.Saw Religulous and totally fell more in love with this guy.He is not for everyone though........lol.

I LOVED THAT MOVIE!! As an agnostic you are so used to not being represented. I really appreciated that he did that movie. He's a brave man.

:hug::hug:Practicing athiest here. I went through a fairly similar thing at your age only not nearly as bad. I'm from the northeast so I don't think its as big a deal here. We teach evolution in schools but not the Book of Genesis and its been that way for a while. I found my family was dissapointed with my athiesm not because of my lack of faith, but more because of the changes to our social world as a family...i.e not having me go to church or church based events anymore...that sort of thing. They saw it as part and parcel of me turning into one of those sex, drugs, rock and roll teenagers. So maybe that's part of it, they think because you're agnostic you'll start smoking pot and drinking whiskey and driving a motorcylce or something.
But I could be way off too. I don't know because faith is such a personal thing. But maybe if you can reassure them your choice of faith has nothing to do with your behavior or personality...that will help. Either way...good luck.

Rosie, I understand your zeal, but it's misplaced here. This is not the kind of thread you want to proselytize in...Please. This girl is hurting now and has already said she doesn't believe in what you are trying to sell here.

Kate Marie, I'm almost 60 years old and I don't have the courage to tell my Mother I'm an atheist. Not for me though...in my case it's because she's so old now and becoming frail, and I don't want to upset her at her age, so I've decided to just keep it to myself. She knows I don't believe the same as her, but still thinks (or is trying to make herself believe) that I still believe in God. She still makes references about God almost every time we talk (it's a very important part of her life) and it drives me nuts to have to hold my tongue...I just want to scream sometimes that I don't believe that stuff and please don't even talk to me about it. I am so glad at your young age that you are being honest with your parents about this so you don't have to live a lie...nothing is worse than trying to hide something so important from people you live with and care about.

Things will get better. This will take some time though and you need to find a good resource for helping you through this, so you aren't tempted into another eating disorder until things settle down. I would talk to the pastor privately about this and about how you are feeling about their reaction and your eating problems. Let him know you really need support now (not arguments about your beliefs...but support in the aftermath of this revelation). Also let him know you are on antidepressants and have suffered from depression. This is the kind of thing that can trigger another depressive episode. If he is a good pastor, he will understand and try to help calm your parents down. And, your depressive tendencies may even be relieved by your not having to hide this from your parents any longer. Now your parents may need the antidepressents (just kidding).

If you need someone to talk to privately about this, you are always welcome to PM me. I so understand what door you just opened up and why and how difficult this will be for you. Try to remember that according to your Mom's beliefs, you are going to **** if you die now, so try to understand her panic and need to protect her daughter from what she perceives to be a dangerous belief. She will get to a point eventually where she allows you your belief...but she will probably never stop trying to "fix" this problem, even if only in subtle ways...because she honestly cannot accept that you might be right and she wrong.

My heart goes out to you...for your struggle and for your courage. You are one brave young woman, and as another poster mentioned, probably pretty darn smart too.

Just wanted to say that it is normal to question at your age. What you believe now is not the same as you will later. I would suggest you talk to an understanding Pastor-they have heard it all. Mima

Don't be mad at your Dad, just give him time to remember you are a wonderful daughter regardless of your choices. I doubt he wants to lose you :hug:

Hang in there sweetie, life can be rocky at times.

.

Hang in there Katie. A few years ago my step son, now 18, told his mom and dad and I that he didnt believe in God. Well to me and his dad it wasnt a big deal. We love him, not what he believes in, but his mom didnt feel that way. She tried to change his mind, she argued, she persuaded, she cried, nothing worked. Finally she just resided to not talk about it and pretend she never heard it. The only piece of advice I can give, and you can take it for what its worth, is to not throw it in their face all the time. I know your probably not doing that but unfortunately so many people do. They feel like they have a right to believe what they believe and they dont care what anyone else thinks. You sound like you really care about your parents, so just know that you told them how you feel, you got it out in the open, but give them their own time to adjust or live in denial but dont put in their face all the time to remind them. they will get past it easier that way.

And I'm thinking now that maybe my morals are a bit warped. I have 3 step kids that are MINE (no matter what anyone thinks) and a son of my own. And I would rather every one of them came home and told me they didnt believe in God before they came home and told me they were pregnant or got someone pregnant. At 14 not believing in God could be a phase (not that I'm saying it is, because I know with my step son its not) but coming home pregnant at 14 is the end to well deserved childhood.

Hang strong sweetie, even though they may never get over or accept it they love you and they will learn to live with it and with you.

[QUOTE=katie m a r i e;2613645]Alright. Well, I guess this is a strange post for me. I haven't felt depressed in forever, but have been taking anti-depressants since I was in sixth grade. I go to a therapist every so often, because until just today, my parents thought I was doing great. Oh yeah, thats another thing. I'm only fourteen. xD But anyway, so things were going well for a while. And then, today, I decided to 'come out' of my agnostic closet.

Now my mom always told me she would accept me no matter what, and that she would always love me. My dad didn't really say those type of things, because well, he is too manly for it. But today while we were in the parking lot of Kroger, I finally dropped the bomb on her. I don't believe in God.


So you are AGNOSTIC or ATHEIST? Huge difference.

I can understand your mother's feelings. However, I am not so ancient myself yet that I don't remember going through periods in my own life (particularly adolescence) when I questioned everything--sexuality, spirituality, establishment, etc. It's a normal part of "finding" yourself and deciding what you are going to be about.

I think it's important to always leave your heart and mind open to finding deeper truth. And in the words of Forrest Gump, "that's all I'm gonna say about that."

My priest always says it doesn't matter what we believe or if we believe, when we feel death is getting close, we suddenly believe in God.

I'm 40 and I've never told my parents I don't believe as they do, even though I lost that i a depression at age 20 and it never came back. It just seems easier not to rock the boat. Although I imagine they've noticed that I never attend church. But my point is just to recognize that what you did is very courageous. I don't know how things will ultimately turn out with your family. It could go lots of ways. But I think it's very likely that it will change over time. And at least it will be built on honesty.

As far away (in time) as I am from traditional Christian beliefs, I can still remember when they were everything. So I can understand how they feel. I'd recommend, before anything, just giving them lots of time to adjust. You've probably been figuring out what you do or don't believe, and coming to terms with it, for a while. They haven't.

my mum (dad's agnostic) still can't accept that i'm atheist. i have made the choice that i don't believe in god. actually she said to me just this weeikend that "You always used to believe" and i was like "well, actually, you used to believe and took me with you".

so you see, having that conversation at any age is NOT going to be easy and my parents aren't even that religious!

all i will say is that your parents are just in shock right now. it's hard to accept that their children are growing up, least of all to accept their little girl doesn't believe in what they blieve in and have always held as being the most important thing.

have you tried talking to your mum (she seems more rational than your dad) about it and explaining how you feel to her? it might be hard but i'm sure it will make things a bit better for you.

like the others said, they won't kick you out because you don't believe what they believe. i'm almost certain of it. they will love you no matter what happens.

Everyone has a right to their own beliefs so to call someone else's beliefs nonsense is not respectful to other people. We all have opinions and thoughts and believe differently.

Your priest doesn't have any way of knowing what everyone else suddenly believes when they're close to death. And hopefully, none of the people in this thread are close to death, so it won't matter, and we can all just help support Katie during the difficult time she's having.

Depends on how you define them. Some consider themselves both agnostic and atheist, but I won't get into the logic behind that here.

Katie, how are you doing today? Did you eat anything? Just give your parents some time. You've had two years to come to terms with your feelings, and they've only had one day. If it doesn't seem like they'll ever come around, you might have to just let it go for now and not keep bringing it up. You're still young, and being a non believer usually doesn't have that much impact on a person's day to day life.

Hey Katie, hope everything's going better today... just wanted to say that you sound like a really awesome 14-year-old, and I wish I'd had the strength and self-awareness you're displaying here when I was that age. :)

Hi Katie,

I just want to let you know that there are people out there who support you and believe in you and know that you are going to be okay! And as you can see, there are so many people who have gone through something similar with their own families. Just knowing that you are not alone might give you a little bit of comfort in this difficult time. Keep posting whenever you need support! :hug: Just keep believing in yourself and what you feel is right. I am a high school teacher, and trust me, you are awesome! :cp:

Katie, please don't think your life is over. I went throught something at your age that made me think that too, I am now 46, we survive things that we think it is the end throughtout our lives. Right now what you have to believe in is yourself, hopefully it will not take your parents too long to come to terms with your beliefs and they will accept you as you are, maybe grudgingly but they will.

I'm 16 and have to say I respect you a lot for telling your parents.
I am also "in the closet" w/ regards to christianity, and I am too scared to tell my parents that I don't believe in god. I know my dad would throw me out, and my entire family would alienate me. I think they suspect though, and nothing I do is ever good enough for my dad. Since I told them I wanted to be in law enforcement, my dad has basically written me off as a failure. I think he would have preferred that I become a stay at home mom with 20 kids and homeschool them in a jumper.
I do want to be in a "science type" job, ( I want to be in the FBI, but I am planning to study forensic anthropology and hopefully will become fully certified)
But I never really thought that figured into my beliefs.

I just want to offer my support. I don't think there's really any advice that I can give, more than anyone else can, because parents can be irrational lunatics every now and again (as can the rest of us). But this is their problem. And it's something they have to come to terms with. They should be proud of you for being such an individual and a forward thinker. Believe me, when I was your age (i'm only 18 now), I was cutting myself, I had an eating disorder, I'd already gone through a stint in a mental ward, I was out-of-the-closet as a bi-sexual and I had totally and vocally denounced ALL organized religion. My mother and I had an absolutely horrible relationship when I was growing up, and I'll be honest, it hasn't exactly healed yet.
But I am standing on the other side of that canyon a far more experienced, well rounded, successful and responsible person than many of my peers because I did discover who I was sooner rather than later. I think its great that you obviously come from a religious family and have still managed to find your way through that. Your parents will come to terms with who you are, hopefully sooner rather than later, or after it's too late.
Be proud of yourself. You're making a stand for something you believe in (or, well, don't) and anyone who would try to silence or oppress you is in the wrong.
Be strong, dear. We're here for you.

Katie Marie!! Check out the "Alternachicks" section to find some freethinking and supportive people. Some Christians can really be very cool. Some of my fave friends are religious, different religions; the intollerance doesn't HAVE to go with it, unfortunately, in many denominations it's part and parcel of the belief system, it's conformity or persecution. I think a LOT of damage is caused with that fundamentalist mindset.

Oh I can believe that -- I think we are naturally freaked out at the thought of our deaths, however, the question is, does that make us likely to make up stories in which we are somehow immortal? IMO, I think it does.

If you do not believe in a God then you are an atheist.

An agnostic is someone who doubts the existence of a God but is still somewhat open to the idea if proof can be shown.

Ahhhhhh ... this reminds me of the many years I spent when I was young searching for the truth. Is there a God? What is my purpose in life? Why are we here?

All so very personal ideas that a person can explore and contemplate for the rest of there lives if they wish or bury in back of their minds and just go about their lives and stay busy with all the things we call life.

But invariably ALL of us ... will one day be forced to think to ourselves (unless we die from a sudden death like an accident) my life is coming close to an end ... will I go onward to somewhere else? Or will my life just simply cease to exist, like a candle flame that just gets blown out and never to be relit again.

I won't say what decision I made for myself because it doesn't matter, each person must examine what THEY believe and draw their own conclusions.

You are still very, very young. And being young most young people have no conception of how quickly a life can go. Ask any 80 year old and they will all tell you that as they got older times seemed to speed up.

You have a long time to make your decision whether you believe in a God or not. Keep your mind open. Whether you ultimately choose to believe or not believe is a personal decision you have to make. I had many ideals when I was young that have changed over the years just because of my life experiences.

I would like to point out and NOT taking your parents side but just stating fact... to a TRUE believer in Christ.... who believes that the ONLY way to salvation is through Jesus Christ ... having someone who they love tell them that they do not believe is devastating to them.

In their eyes whether they are right or not you have condemned yourself to **** and there is nothing they can do about it because everyone knows you can control what someone does but no one can control what someone thinks.

Your father is acting out how a lot of men do because he is angry which doesn't mean he doesn't love you.

I will say this... IF I was a child still living at home who did not believe in God and my parents were believers. I would like to think I would just stay quiet and spare them the stress and anguish. Because they are and have after all fed you, clothed you put a roof over your head. But then again I am reacting as what a 50 year old would do. My thoughts would be of my parents not me.

So what if they think you are somewhat religious when in fact you are not. What matters to you is what YOU think.

Yes for family harmony I think I would have kept it to myself. But I guess it is a moot point now unfortunately.

You know I am wondering how much of this might just be from youthful rebelliousness? Almost all of us go through an age where we begin to assert our independence to our parents. I remember screaming to my Dad that I was a grownup and an adult when in fact I look back and I really wasn't. I was just a normal teenager.

I guess I haven't given you much good advice... I am sorry.

You are still 14 and you will need to live somewhere until you are of legal age (18) You could approach your parents and tell them that you have decided to keep an open mind and will think about the concept of God and life some more and leave it at that. And every time they ask you in the interest of family cohesiveness just say I am still thinking and I will keep an open mind.

This might give them some sort of hope and hopefully you will not have such a disrupted life such as having to live in a foster home or some facility until you are of age. Or WORSE a life on the streets as a teen which almost always ends up pretty bad.

I really feel for you and hope you can find a happy medium to make your parents happy and a way you can live with yourself.

good luck!

Living a lie can be very hard on someone...especially someone who is young and idealistic. And if Katie's Mom is anything like mine, she is constantly having religion shoved down her throat, which is like pouring scalding water on a burn when you have to keep silent and just keep taking it. And maybe she is uncomfortable being forced to participate in religious activities she doesn't believe in.

I'm sorry, but it is presumptuous to imply that she does not have an open mind. I actually think people who have rejected Christianity after being raised in it, tend to be more open-minded. I don't believe in God, and I'm not being rebellious against my parents. I used to be a born-again Christian and I suffered depression for a long time as an adult, and gradually through the course of my therapy, I realized that part of my depression was caused by my thinking I had to believe the same as my Mom about religion...when it was causing me great conflict.

We each get to make up our own minds about what we believe, and our beliefs may end up totally different than our parents. And often, we take what our parents give us and grow from there. For example, you can be highly spiritual, but not believe in the God of the bible, and you can be a fundamentalist Christian and not be as spiritually developed as the person who has rejected the myths of the bible and is looking for something more.

I don't believe that saying you don't believe in God is the same thing as being closed-minded. I think it speaks of a person who is more logical and requires more concrete evidence to believe in something. That doesn't mean they aren't open to accepting something once evidence is provided.

And using the "you may die at any moment" scare tactic to try to convince someone they should be open to believing in God, is not very relevant to someone who does not believe in the heaven and **** of the Bible. Also a person who does not believe in God, may still believe that life is a cycle and that our energy still goes somewhere and lives on in another form. So death of the body does not necessarily mean the same to an atheist or agnostic as someone who believes in heaven or ****.

Katie's parents are responsible for their own feelings. Katie should not have to live a lie to protect them from who she really is.

Katie, I hope you will check in and let us know how things are going. I've been worried about you.

Katie, I do hope you'll check in with us. If your parents do want you to continue to learn about Christianity, try to make the best of it. Knowledge of the Bible can give an important foundation for understanding a lot of literature that is taught in high school and college.

I am surprised that your parents are so upset by this. I know you feel like you understand the whole world (God knows I felt that way when I was 14) but you may or may not change your mind about religion in the future. And I would be "the grown up" one in your family and tell your parents that. Just say, that right now you don't believe in God, that you understand you have a lot to learn in life, and if it's right for you - someday you might reconsider religion. And, even if you never do, it might lift some weight off your parents.

I never believed in God until some major events in my life changed that...only a few years ago (and I'm 28.) And I'm very thankful that I found that in my life...

OH, and I wanted to say that they will really try to push church and religion on you now (I would assume.) Which is probably not a good idea on their part because you will hate it, but learn from it. I didn't know much about the Christian Bible until the last few years and you will learn that you at least have to have knowledge of Christianity in our society. I ended up having to talk religion classes in my collage (and felt REALLY stupid because I didn't understand what anyone was talking about most of the time...) Espeically when "bible thumpers" try to exchange conversation with you and tell you that you are wrong...it's good to understand religion and why you don't agree with it.