Rocket -

Hallucinogenic? Wow, I'm not sure! I did remember hearing about someone who overdosed on a Kava supplement a long time ago... but I blame the person more so than the herb on that. Too much of anything is typically no good. I'll have to give Wikipedia a look, I'm really curious about that!

I've had Yogi Tea's "Kava Stress Relief" tea, but I don't drink too much or too often, cause it would probably put me to sleep, haha.

AnnaPajama, thanks for your support. I don't go back to where I am from either. There isn't much left for me to go back to really. The few times I have been back, I feel this feeling of impending doom sweep over me. Where I live now is high-maintenance and drama-filled. When I go to other more "real" areas I feel my blood pressure going down and a serenity filling me. I guess that coupled with that no one will know me there or care what I do, what I buy, how I look or anything else. They have their own real issues to deal with.

Oh, and I so know about how eating helps with the anxiety. I had some (minor) drama to deal with on Sunday. Monday morning I sat in a darkened living room, watching a 1937 B and W movie while eating some ungodly amount of horrific items. Why oh why????

I did do some cleaning yesterday and it did make me feel better a wee bit. Tomorrow I have two really nice ladies that I have been friends with a longtime coming over. So, more home cleaning is ahead for this evening and tomorrow morning. Today I am supposed to go and volunteer at the school. I don't really want to go and would rather stick around here but I know being around people may make me feel better.

By the way, thank you ladies for this thread and your responses. Coming back here and seeing something for me to read makes me feel better somehow.

My daughter suffers from anxiety attacks and agoraphobia. She has had symptoms for about a year and a half. Three things happened to her in her life at about that time. a) her father died. He lived three hours away and we hadn't heard from him since Father's Day of 2000, but still, I think it left a weird void for her in her life. b) my husband (her 'dad' since we moved here) was laid off and we were pretty unsure for about a year if we'd have to move to replace his job. c) I opened my own beauty salon here in town after being a stay-at-home mom for about 7 years. So, all these things happening to her in about a three month time frame, I think, have given her what we used to call Mondayitis. She would cry herself to sleep on Sunday nights and sit in the nurse's office at school half the day. She couldn't breathe and would have heart palpitations, painful stomach aches and sweat profusely. Tuesdays were better, but Mondays...after being at home all weekend...were the pits. She would only wear black clothes because of the sweating and everyone started calling her 'goth'. She also gained about 25 pounds in the gut.

Anyhow...I took her to the pediatrician and they sent her to the behavioral health clinic where they deemed her agoraphobic. We tried the therapist and psychologist, but the meds didn't seem to do any good, the therapist was just annoying and the psychiatrist would pretty much just ask her for physical signs of how the meds were treating her, not really talk to her and find out how she is, etc. So, we took her off the medication and stopped therapy. I really think a support group would be better and may look into that for her.

I've never ever had a panic attack, so its hard for me to relate to her problems...but I can be there for her and try and understand her. One thing we did is sign her up for the Girls Varsity Hockey Team and she's learned that when she has these panic attacks, getting out on the ice and geting the adrenaline going helps by volumes. At first, hockey was causing panic attacks, but I am working on the assumption that the key to getting over this disorder is to not turtle up and ignore the world, but to gently stretch your comfort zone and re-teach yourself that there really is nothing wrong to justify all this panic and if you power through the symptoms, you'll teach your body to stop doing those things or learn how to manage the feelings. Hockey has really been a plus for her because she's learned that by turtling up, she's missing out on new friends (actually, they're more like aquaintances...they've all been playing since they were toddlers and are a little clicky...but nice), new experiences and tons of fun! So, she's learned with hockey to be annoyed with the panic attacks and visually step over them to get to where she wants to be. Treat it as an obstacle to overcome. And she's learning to do this. After hockey is over and the weather breaks, I'm going to go for jogs with her after school as often as possible. Unless she joins the softball team...which she's thinking of doing since she's been on the hockey team. That would be awesome!

Anyhow...

Hey ladies!

I have to say, checking in here everyday has really been helping me too. I had a hard time with my anxiety today and I turned to food... which only made me more anxious... boo. But at least I'm not beating myself up over it. It feels nice to have somewhere to come and try to talk it out, you know? Rather than sitting alone and feeling really bad about how I handled the anxiety (which usually makes me feel more anxious... ugh!).

You're welcome, THB! It's so nice to have met you, and thanks for your thoughts and support too! I live right outside the town I'm from, and I'm really hoping to move further. It's like the moment we get too close, I start turning right back to terrible, old habits. My therapist thinks I have PTSD; things like car doors closing at night use to make me panic. I use to be really scared of the dishes too (so sadly, cleaning doesnt help calm me down. If one of you ladies get tired of cleaning your houses, please come on down to mine! Haha!).

Hi, techwife. I really loved your statement "I've never ever had a panic attack, so its hard for me to relate to her problems...but I can be there for her and try and understand her." What a wonderful mother you are, seriously. I'd give anything for my mother to say or think something like that. Your daughter sounds like a total trooper. I feel really proud of her, and I don't even know her, haha.

I can remember having panic attacks as a child, and my parents always thought I was a total faker. I had a lot of stomach pains and heart palpitations as a kid. I really think, just having support from the people around, especially your family, is a huge help. Nothing feels worse than going through it and no one believing something legitimate is wrong. Even now, as an adult, my parents laughed and asked me “What war were you in?” when I mentioned PTSD to them. It just sucks, and it really makes it hard to confront these things and try to move on.

Hats off to you. You sound like an outstanding support person. It’s great that your daughter’s getting active like that, and that she wants to confront/overcome it too! What big, awesome steps in a positive direction.

Well, sometimes I feel mean when I point to the ice and tell her to get her butt out there...but its only because I know the adrenaline and endorphines are the best thing for her. As well as not turtling up and giving in to the panic attack. Certain things, though, I'll give in with, like her not being able to breathe. Then I'll let her come home. I mean, who can get through a rigorous hockey practice with no oxygen?

I used to get REALLY BAD period cramps...so bad that when I actually gave birth, I said, "this is just like period cramps!" It was that bad. But nobody believed me...so with this, I can relate. But the actual symptoms, I have no idea what she's going through.

And breakthroughs lately have been awesome. Last night she had a game and BOTH my cars are broken down. So, she got a ride with the neighbors to and from the game (their daughter is on the team, too) and NO panic whatsoever. She had a game in Oswego and my cars were bad, so she had to take the bus alone an hour and a half away, but my husband happened to be working there and brought her home. But she hasn't gone to a game without me prior to this...so this is a huge breakthrough, I think. And I'm so proud of her.

Funny thing is that when my daughter started with all this, my sister started to tell me how she has these all the time and told me how she works through them. I had no idea. I think its hereditary.

Okay...TTFN!

Hi Ladies. I feel somewhat better tonight. I made myself go to the school today to volunteer as I know my depression gets way worse when I allow myself to be shut in. Instead of just staying there my allotted time, I stayed the day and it really helped me. We were invited for a playdate afterschool and we accepted. My kids did really well there and God bless them for allowing me some time to sit and visit with a friend. It is so cold here tonight. I have the fire going and I am doing some cleaning since we have some friends coming tomorrow.

Techwife, I am so glad your daughter is having better luck with her episodes. I had them as a child but never knew what they were much less how to fix my reactions. My parents were certainly of no help there.

AnnaPajama, I understand about the whole turning to food thing. I try to tell myself before I binge that the food isn't the answer--that it will only make my problems worse and me BIGGER. I am trying to replace some of my reactions with something other than eating. Maybe it isn't the healthiest, but when I am stressed I will allow myself to do something wonderful--like watch TV for a while or go into my room and lock the door and read something that is mindless but interesting to me. Sometimes, I allow myself to go shop it out. (See, I told you it wasn't the healthiest.) But alas, firstr things first, just as long as I am not eating. Sometimes it works actually. It is very nice to meet you too, by the way! My sisters here at 3FC always seem to have the right thing for me.

WOW that was a great thread to read. I am inspired by all of you. And mostly feel right at home!

I realize more and more now how much my home influenced my depression and subsequent anxiety. Then I moved 6 hours away only to have my mom follow me here 7 years later. And it all returned. Reading this thread has made me realize that link. I did suspect it, but it's hard for me to admit that my unhappy childhood was anything other than my fault for just choosing to be unhappy. (Which all just snakes back around to my own crappy interpretations of my relationship with my parents, my dad's narcissism and my mom's codependency...haha, all my diagnoses!) Major dramz nonetheless.

I find myself intellectualizing all of this so well but actually trying to internalize it is nearly impossible. I'm exhausted!

Also, Lori Bell...your ticker is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!

When did you start your weight loss?

Thanks for starting the thread, AnnaPajama. Depression and anxiety do go hand in hand!

It's really awful when someone, especially somebody really close to you, doesn't recognise the actual effect that anxiety can have on your life. It just makes you feel dismissed and belittled. I try to not get ashamed of myself when somebody acts like depression and anxiety are no big deal around me. Anna Pajama! I'm sorry that your parents haven't really made an effort to know what it's like. My dad is like that; but my mum has been so amazing through it all. A lot of the time, it's the people you surround yourself with that will get you through.

Jerzygal- hi! That's an awful lot of responsibility for other people's flaws that you're shouldering. Having your childhood experiences brought back upon you in the form of your mum moving near to you would be a bit of a shock to the system. D'you see her often?

My thoughts are with you all!

Hi Anna,

Sorry I haven't posted until now (new boss at work and we are going nuts).

Yes this is the place to post.... I too get anxiety / panic attacks. I'm not on meds but what I do (which is not good) is avoid situations I know... I know !!! but I'm trying to force myself to do things I would normally run away from.

Sorry I can't stay and chat more, but I'll be back again.



Leenie

Thanks jerzygal

I started changing my life, (Seriously because of major anxiety and trying to cure it through diet and nutrition!) in January of last year. It wasn't really a New Years Resolution, but more like desperation. Winter months definitely make my anxiety worse! Anyway I started with baby steps like not eating after 8pm, no MSG, no artificial sweeteners and limiting my computer & TV time, less beer...things like that. I started losing and feeling better so on March 4th, (March Forth!!) I started counting calories and began to journal every bite that entered my mouth. Oh, and moving (much) more.

Oddly, the anxiety was greatly reduced , (but not gone compleately) for a couple of months but came back with a vengeance with the onset of fall. It is also interesting to note that occasionally I'll have like a week long period where I'll get pretty serious daily attacks. During these week long "attacks" I always want to eat more, but if I conquer the over eating part, I usually have a really big loss, (3-4 pounds) that week. There has got to be a connection.

I hate panic/anxiety. The worse thing about it for me is the headaches and dizziness. If that part would stop, I think I could deal better.

Oh, I also wanted to ask others who suffer from anxiety and have lost a significant amount of weight it their anxiety got worse? My Doctor said this was happening because I wasn't self medicating. I googled weight loss and anxiety and found an article from Dr. Phil. He basically said the same thing, that many people who suffer from anxiety give up on diets because they don't "feel" magically better. That all the feelings they were stuffing down with food resurface when they are no longer medicating themselves with food. They give up because the pain goes away while snarfing down a huge piece of cheesecake, (even though it comes back soon after).

Just interesting I though. I was happy to hear I wasn't the only person who felt worse after losing weight instead of better....(which by the way adds to my anxiety!)