Depression and Weight Issues Have you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!

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Old 04-25-2002, 01:33 AM   #1  
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Default NEED advise-long post

Hi, I am new to the board! My name is Angela. I stumbled upon this site after searching for many. I have 3 beautiful boys and a wonderful husband who is also my best friend. I am here because I don't know where else to turn.

I joined a gym a couple months ago. I go 3 to 5 days a week, I am over weight by say 60 pounds. My dh says he loves me the way that I am which is great, except I am not loving myself so much. I want to be able to play w/ my boys and enjoy life w/out losing my breath.
I am not sure exactly how to go with this so it might be a little confusing. I am a confident person, and never thought about weight loss until I was considered "obese" by my doctor, so started me trek. I decided to join for myself, and I feel great about going, and get depressed if I miss a day at the gym. I am not over-worked or anything like that, now getting to my problem..........I had no problems going by myself, until recently, I don't know what triggered in my brain, but all of the sudden, I feel like I just want to break down and cry and run out of the gym, I don't know why, but it is all I can do to keep myself there, I keep talking myself through it, but I have been getting increasingly worse, so bad to the point that I will start arguements with my husband for not going with me and I give him guilt trips for not supporting me, even though he is being supportive. At first my dh didn't go w/ me at all, which was fine because I didn't really need him there, then he started going if his work schedule allowed for it. He thinks that I may have "anxiety" (sp?), and we have had lengthy discussions about my problem, but I just can't seem to get over it! He trys to go everytime with me now, so that I don't break down at the gym, but I don't understand how this came to be,as I had no problems before. I don't understand how I once felt so good about myself to now, feeling awful about myself.
The gym I joined isn't full of "hard-bodies" either, just average people who also want to get fit.
My main goal when I started out was to just get fit, if weight loss happened then great, if it didn't then "oh well". But now I am really insecure, I was once a super outgoing personable person and I have been increasingly getting withdrawn, I keep telling myself "C'mon Ang, this isn't like you". What is going on with me?? I have been also thinking of devious ways to lose weight, which is also unlike me. I have dreams about unhealthy ways to lose weight. I didn't even take tylenol when I gave birth to my boys, I went all natural because of being afraid of taking things like pills and drugs even if they were prescribed, but now I am to the point where I am actually considering taking fat-burners and stuff, the only control I have to not purchase these things is because I am a stay-at-home mom and when I need money I just ask dh for it. He knows that I am a no-pill kinda gal, and I'm sure would not agree with wanting to buy pills or anything for me as he knows I am not like that.
Please help, any advise would be appreciated

Also I wanted to add that I am seeing some results, like calf muscles that I never had and more toned legs, no flab when I walk (atleast my lower legs). I know not to weigh myself because muscle weighs more and stuff like that. Also before, I would never consider lipo or anything else that would alter my body, but now I've been thinking about it. I know dh would never let me because as I said, it is so unlike me and he would think some strange person took over my brain.
I'm sorry this is so long
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Old 04-25-2002, 11:56 AM   #2  
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Hi and Welcome !

First don't appologize for asking for help, that is what we are here for

Sometimes when I'm not losing weight FAST enough I get very down on myself and withdrawn, I feel like such a failure and I don't realize this is whats happening at the time. I can relate to your experience at the gym. This could be the issue for you

I know you said you feel good about yourself but I think there is something inside that says you don't and thats why you are absessing over losing the weight by taking pills or losing the weight unsafely. Its so hard to pinpoint somthing like this, it can be many triggers. Wish I could figure out my own problems

My advice for you would be as such: The only person who could truly help you other than yourself would be your doctor. If you have a good one, I would go talk to him/her and tell them whats been happening, if you don't have a good Dr. please find one. It might not be as serious as you think OR it might be the beginning of some serious emotional problems.... I'm no doctor so I can't call it for you.....wish I could. After 4 years of depression on my end, I finally went to the doctor and now I am on Zoloft which helps sooooooo much. Don't wait as long as I did. It took gaining 70+ lbs to get me to the doctor....OY

Keep posting with us, even if its to say hi and keep us updated.
Good Luck.

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Old 04-25-2002, 01:09 PM   #3  
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I wonder if you are getting those feelings because 60 pounds might seem overwhelming.

Maybe, if you look at losing 5 pounds as a goal, it sounds so much easier. Take it five pounds at a time. And, reward yourself for each of those 5 pounds that you lose...and not with food! Maybe a bottle of cologne or some new nail color.

Stop in and post! We love the company! Leens and I have known each other over two years on this site. You can say anything to us!
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Old 04-25-2002, 02:10 PM   #4  
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