Leenie weinie, chili beanie.. so you found me! I am glad you found this board. It just started up this month so everyone is new. Welcome also debbiel and Sunshiny.
You know what I am going to tell you already, Leens.I am sure we have talked about this in the 2 years or so we have know each other. You need to get back to the doctor. You don't have to feel crappy. I know you have an aversion to medication, but it a chemical imbalance, not that you are crazy.. well maybe a little crazy.

If you were a diabetic, would you feel embarassed or not take the insulin that could help you? Of course you wouldn't! This is the same thing, honey. It might take quite a few medications to find the right one for you... I am not sure I have found the right one for me yet and that is after eight years!! I won't give up, because I do feel better than I did then. Cognative therapy also did wonders for me. Some things meds cannot change. I changed a lot of negative thought patterns that were causing a lot of problems. I have lots more to do, but I am a work in progress anyway
You have a beautiful baby girl, a great hubby and a neat doggie. You are healthy, employed and have been very blessed by you know who. You are more than just your size. Just because you are big, doesn't mean you are worth any less. I wish I could get you to believe that... I am not friends with JUNK!!!
I still have moments I want to scarf.. when I am stressed, tired, etc. I don't think they will ever go away. What I can change is how I re-act to those things.. move my buttons so to speak. ( someone tell me this though... if I keep moving my buttons, why does my mother alwas find them)
Debbiel, Sunshiny, Dentrassi and Leens... hope you have a wonderful day... Spring is coming!!