maybe i'm just dumb but i'm still not quite grasping this concept of "depression." like, is it feeling like ultimate despair or is it feeling...nothing.

like last semester for instance, i dropped 4 of my 5 classes because i had no interest whatsoever in going. all i wanted to do is stay in bed and sleep. i didn't work until the weekend so the entire week i spent in my room. but i didn't feel depressed or anything. i wasn't sad at all. i just had no motivation for anything.

i even wanted to drop one of my majors and my minor because i just didn't want to do anything anymore. (i'm double majoring in graphic design and photography and getting a minor in philosophy)

and every once in a while i get these 4 or 5 day long "episodes" where i just want to be alone. all by myself in my room. i won't even leave the house. friends will call and i'll say, "no, i think i'll stay in tonight." i remember one friend getting so mad at me and he was like, "what's your problem?! you never want to hang out anymore."

but i can't explain it to him. i said, "i don't know. i'm not mad at you or anything, i just want to be alone and away from everyone."

like i said, i'm not sad or anything. i rarely get sad. but sometimes i get kind of...blank.

What you're feeling is definitely a sign of depression. It's not necessarily sadness at all. I've been there, trust me.

but see, there's no reason for it. i have a great life. i live with my mom and dad and my sister. i have great friends, a good job. i'm in school...well, usually.

there's no underlying reason i should be feeling/acting like this. i've never had any kind of traumatic episode. my life is pretty normal.

I would go check out a dr. or a therapist. Even though you have a "normal" life you can still be depressed. Im sure school is pretty stressful and losing weight isnt easy either. Im sure its nothing serious, but feeling like that is no fun... hope everything gets better...keep us updated

It could be something medical, too - like a hormonal imbalance of some kind. It's definitely not "nothing", and the fact that you are even questioning it is a GOOD thing! I would say talk to a counselor/advisor/professor that you trust at your school, if not your parents. Sometimes a stranger is best. But you definitely should talk to someone. Perhaps even your family doctor, as it could be physical. Best of luck sweetie!

"No reason," is really what distinguishes clinical depression from the ordinary blues that everyone gets when minor and major tragedies strike. And feelings of sadness can be a sign of depression, but so can apathy.

Even with a master's degree in psychology I didn't notice the symptoms of clinical depression in myself, because they came on very slowly. I just was less and less interested in expending effort. I didn't really even consider myself apathetic as there were things I was enjoying, it's just that what I was enjoying were things that took less and less physical and mental effort. I really didn't recognize the problem until my favorite activity became sleeping.

Hi, I've been 'clinically' depressed since age 20. There are way too many types of depressions, severity, symtpoms etc. to go into here. I would like to share one very important point with you, depression is not always 'caused' by something. Yes, there are acute depressions; caused by death of loved ones and/or other crisis. I have a type of major depression', its chronic, its biochemical meaning in my case my brain neurons need rewiring with medication. The best way i can explain my biochemical depression is; when you unplug a lamp from the wall and expect it to light when you switch it on... you can kick and scream at the lamp, but its still not going to light up... and that's how I felt before meds... I just wanted to stay in, on my couch, and that's it, like you said friends would call and you don't 'feel' like going out... For me, Bon Jovi could be at my door begging me to go out and I would resort to my couch... I just couldn't... There is a ton of information out there on depression.. If you are interested in reading more... I think this is a good overview.

http://www2.healthtalk.com/go/mental...-of-depression

Just a couple other things... not everyone needs meds, but some meds are life-changers, consider talking with a professional, doesn't have to be a 'shrink', your family doctor, the nurse at school... and yes, as much as I don't want to admit it, but, fresh air, 10 mins of sunlight a day, exercise and diet made a HUGE difference...

This may be just a rough patch in your life that will pass... but imho, if these feelings go on for more than 6 weeks or so talk with someone. Also, consider your tom, sometimes those symptoms change... OK, I'm done... I could go on forever with this depression stuff... its been over 25 years for me...I hope this helps a little...

That feeling "blank" is called apathy and definitely a sign of depression. Like others have said there are different types of depression and the symptoms can change for the person.

Definitely go to the doctor. You described some of my depressed swings to a T (bipolar here). You don't have to feel that way. There are options for you. Depression is very tricky because it doesn't present like a usual physical illness although it is. It makes you question your perceptions and think that maybe it will pass if I just wait it out, mean while you sink deeper.

Take care & good luck.
Amy

Being on med's for depression for over 25yr's (major depresion),i have to agree with everything sweetcaroline said. I think that it would not hurt for you to at least talk with someone on how your feeling.

I never knew i was depressed until i took myself to a hosp and admitted myself, i knew something was wrong but i didn't know what it was & why i was feeling the way i did, and like you i had a great life going at the time, And it had nothing to do with the way i was / am.

I have a similar story, deathnotronic.

When I first realized I was depressed I felt like there was no reason and I wasn't SAD. I didn't even cry. I was just out of it. I totally checked out.

I am 25 and still figuring it out, kind of realizing lately I am paralyzed by constant anxiety. But, truly, my life was great when I first realized I was depressed (I recently discovered through a psychiatrist that it's probably chronic depression going back to early high school).

But the first major episode where my life was really affected was freshman year of college at my dream school, a major university, at school with my brother, lots of friends back home, lots of friends at college. I even loved my classes. But I just lost interest.

It's taken me until just a few weeks ago to realize that depression was the reason for the struggle and lack of satisfaction and self-esteem all this time. I don't mean to be discouraging; it really shouldn't have taken me so long to figure this out. But I do feel like I've just been getting by, convincing myself I couldn't be depressed because my life was so good.

To be fair, though, I didn't have the support of my family. (My dad thought I was just making up excuses.)

Definitely look into it more for yourself. You might be on to something. Especially with the support of the ladies here, you've made a good first step. I think that shows great maturity. It seems like the signs are typical of clinical depression, but I have no degree or diagnostic experience to confirm it. Just lots of google searches and self-help books. Have you taken any depression assessment tests? That can be surprising.

Good luck.

it's weird though. like thinking back further like in high school the bad days out numbered the good days a million to one. there was no specific thing that made it a bad day, it just felt like a bad day. i would get home and be like, "wow. today was awful." for no reason.

i never even thought about questioning because it always seemed completely normal. i mean, except for last semester.

and i hate not having an answer for any of this. in my family it's kind of like "suck it up, get over it, laugh it off."

like, i read somewhere about lack of self-esteem can lead to it. i am the worst person when it comes to having self-esteem. my esteem level is like -500. but i never show it because i don't want anyone saying, "oh look at chelsea being all emo and feeling bad about herself."

I say talk to someone. For me talking to a stranger (ie: therapist) works best because they have no biased opinions about you. If yout family isnt supporting you talk to a really good friend and dont explain it to your family until you figure out what is going on with you. You just might be surprised on how much your friends can help.

so. i went to the behavioral health clinic at the hospital and talked to someone. he ended up calling my mom and suggested that we talk. so my mom called my dad and my dad came home and we had a long emotional talk. my dad started crying! that was nothing short of uncomfortable.

i told them about not wanting to leave the house and all the anxiety from the jury duty and i kind of just told them how i felt and they talked to me and said it was nothing to be ashamed of and how i'm not the only one. my not wanting to leave is what my grandma ended up doing until she died and i really don't want to end up like that. (that's what made my dad cry)

so i mean, talking about it really helped. i feel better now. at least i know that if i do need to talk about it, there's always something there.

thank you so much ladies!

so now i feel much better. my parents suggested that i only take 2 classes a semester so i don't overload myself. i think i might start doing that.

Good for you. The first steps are some of the hardest. Going to the behavorial clinic and having the talk with your parents was very brave. Sounds like you're on the road to mental wellness. It's hard work. For me, it's harder work than any of this diet crap. It's probably the most difficult thing we'll ever overcome. But we will