Welcome
 

Since I began discussing my depression in my journals, I've been surprised at the number of people that have written to say they also suffer from depression and have offered encouragement and advice. I've recently started taking medication (Zoloft) for my depression and have since learned that weight gain (or sometimes weight loss) is a common side effect of SSRI's.

I hope we can use this new forum to offer support for each other as we struggle with both weight issues and depression.

Thank you :)

Waiting to hit bottom at 20
 

Hi,


I first came to your site when I started to get healthy. I started to care. But now, it feels like I was just fooling myself.
I went strong for three weeks. Eating well was becoming a habit, working out also was becoming addictive. I never really saw any results except for better cardio endurance.
This week however, my always super supportive significant other shot me down in self defense for himself. I deserved it, because I had said something rather heartless without thinking. Any other insult i would have shrugged away and talked through it. But he got me with a small "fat remark". He wasn´t even trying. I know he didn´t mean for me to take it the way I did. But I couldn´t handle it. At all. At 1130 at night when we could have been sound asleep, I was on the bathroom floor crying my eyes out and actually had gotten so upset that I starting vomitting.
I wasn´t really thinking with a straight head, I was so strung up thinking about how I´ll always be fat and no one ever really has nor ever will love me. I connected being fat with my gramother´s death, with my non-existant relationship with my father, with all the hellish years in middle school and high school, with work, with anything and everything I felt bad about.
That was 3 days ago. Since then, I have gone back to eating fast food twice a day and convincing myself that it really is good for me. I have not even driven past the gym. I slept 40 of the past 72 hours. And I haven´t changed out of my strech sweat pants.
It has really hit me this time. My boyfriend is so worried he can´t sleep. Before he went to work tonight, he actually said "why don´t you go to the gym hun, you´ll feel better. or you could just do a little house work with your ankle weights. " I know this can be read in the wrong way, but he was trying to make me feel better, that´s the point.
I don´t know what to do to get out of this slump. Please help.


Megan, 20 years old, central ohio:?:

Megan-You were NOT fooling yourself. You are a good person, and you deserve health and happiness. I have a suggestion for you: talk with your boyfriend about your feelings about your weight. There are certain things that I would NOT say to my husband in anger just because they cannot be taken back. Let him know that weight is not an acceptable topic when you two are arguing. Maybe he has an area like that too, so that he can understand.

I have a very loving husband, and even so I had convinced myself that he couldn't possibly love someone as fat as me. It took me YEARS to realize that the weight doesn't make him love me any less. What a waste!! Your boyfriend sounds truly upset over how bad you are feeling. It sounds like he regrets the fight and wants to try to help you feel better. So feel glad that there ARE people who truly care about you. Try to force yourself out of the house. Staying at home feeling bad is only going to make you feel worse. I've been where you are. My weight is still an issue, but I am actually beginning to like myself DESPITE the weight. It is worth it, and YOU are worth it.

DON'T GIVE UP!!!!!!!!

Doing Better
 

Hi,


I just wanted to say that I am doing much better despite a horrid turn in finances that left us $2000USD in the hole.

Today is Palm Sunday and we went to church together as a couple.I don´t know what happened. I felt amazing. Last night we learned that our last $500 was never really paid to my account, so we pretty much are eating whatever we get get from his work, but I still have to feet that work, and a pass at the gym that is good for another 20 days.

So what did I write in my journal last night?

"I will go to church. I will go to the gym. And I will love my (future) husband."

Because of these three promises, I had a great day.



AND I BROKE MY DAMN DEPRESSION STREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:lol: :smug: :) :cool:

YESSSSSSSSSSS!

I wish you all love and strength!

megan:lol: :)

Hey everybody,

I was cruising around looking for new info and then I saw this. I have been on every anti-depressant known to the world.

I first was on prozac in my late 20's then gave it up after I met my hubby and proceeded to have my first child. I was miserable. I was fat, unhappy, at home with a new born then we moved, then I was pregant with my second child. I do not know if any of you have read the articles on post partum blues, but it can begin in your preganacy like mine did. Luckily I had I a wonderful OB/GYN who recognizedd the severe spiral i was taking. Yes the prozac helped my weight. After I gave birth I had only gained 9 pounds the proceeded to lose it all. The I stoped the prozac as my body had grown accustomed to it

The next 4 years I have been on Zoloft, Paxil, Wellbutrin to name just a few. Most made me even fatter, extremely sluggish as I was taking blood pressure meds.

However now i am on nothing. Depression runs in my family, Funny thing too is we were all overweight as children. I found that exercise actually feels the same as a drug. Watching sugar and caff or eating it to see the efects are interesting too. Too much of say addictives or other stuff..i feel myself begin to to either turn manic (redoing the deck..i have to do it or depressive - i want to sleep all day)

I would be interested in a study about weight gain. depression or childhood obestity.

I am also glad I found this place. Being obsese in a society that values people for their looks only is extremely difficult. Add a depressive order and I feel like some kind of freak.. I am so glad to know that their are others like me. I have not told but 2 people in my life about my struggle. One of them is my husband who feels it is all in my head.

Thank you, Tracy

Good morning, Everyone!

From the time I reached puberty, I've had a problem with depression. As a child, I seemed to go through life in a haze feeling like I didn't belong. It always seemed that happiness was always out of reach. I don't want to go through my home life as a child, but it wasn't always ideal.

When I had my first and only child, who is now 13 1/2 years old, the haze became worse and since that time, I can honestly say, that my smiles have decreased to the point of my son telling me that I always seem to have a constant frown. I struggle each and every single day with feeling like I don't know how I'm supposed to be or how I can help myself to be happy once again. That's when I turn to food for comfort.

I have begun dieting once again and have lost 9 lbs., but I can feel that it's going to be a constant struggle because when I start feeling the blues and feeling very down, I find that food is my friend while I'm eating. It's after I eat that I then feel bad about myself and the cycle begins.

It's good to write this and think it through. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity.

WaterLily

HI WATERLILY!!!!!!

I think everyone in this thread has felt the way that you feel now. PLEASE consider talking to your doctor or finding a therapist to talk to. You don't need to walk around in that haze, and there is more to life than you are getting right now. I have had those SAME feelings of not fitting in, and I ALSO went through an extended period when I felt that I had lost myself. Like I didn't even know who i was anymore.

YOU DESERVE MORE!!!! Life can be hard, but it is also full of wonderful moments and wonderful people. Get healthy for yourself so that you can enjoy it!!!!! And get healthy for your son too.

Hey everybody...


I subscribed to this thread and it didnt take. so I missed all your wonderful answers!!!

Waterlily...i think talking to a good internist about your feelings may help!! It could be a combination of things. Something as simple as diet. Or most complex as depression or PMDD. This is the period around your period. Some woman like me expereince horrible mood swings and other symptons. I think as soon as you start questioning yourself (like am i crazy..no you are not..but maybe a little help would get ya back to yourself)

I do not take the drugs right now not becasue i do not believe in them but i lost my doctor and am hesitant to do it all over again. It takes a special caring doctor to help you. And find the right combination sometimes takes patience. But no it is NOT all in your head....

Again I am not a know it all, but have had lot of expereince wiht this particular thing. If any of you need to talk please e-mail me at [email protected]. I would love to hear from you.

Tracy

Suzanne, thanks so much for starting up this section of the board. I know that for many of us our treatment of our body and our mental state are closely linked. Depression and anxiety are a huge part of my weight and health problems--sometimes I think if only I could get over or past or whatever with my moods, I could get rid of my irritable bowel syndrome, PMS, extra weight, and have the energy to enjoy my job and the rest of my life.

I'm actually bi-polar, but depression is my biggest problem. I'm on both a mood stabilizer and an anti-depressant. The combination has really improved my life, but I still struggle with the patterns I've developed over probably twenty years before I got a diagnosis.

Lately, I've been working hard at getting away from my addictions to TV, computer games, and food. It's really hard to give all of them up at once. I have no problem controlling my eating if I let myself indulge in endless games of Frecell or Solitaire or watch endless re-runs of sitcoms, but now that I've taken the games off of my computer and have forced myself to eat dinner without the TV on (I live alone) I find myself constantly aching for something to fill the void, and that something is usually food.

Sigh. I'm working on this with my therapist, but it's terribly frustrating. I know that I need to replace the addictive behaviors with healthy activity, but that's so much easier said than done. And it's discouraging because I did so well on WW when I was keeping myself zoned out and distracted; food was the only thing I was really disciplined about. It's like I only have so much discipline to go around.

Anyhow, that's life right now. Thanks for giving me a space to vent in. May all of us get to lighten up in all senses of the word!

Lenore

Lenore,

I read your post and even though i am married and have kids. I have never felt so all alone. I was never lonley before i met my hubby. You never rwalize how painful it is. I can understand you wanting to fill up the void in your life. do too. that is why i eat. I started to post here and found alot of comfort in meeting these people. And the ideas i am getting are hlping me develope my confidence to hopefully venture out more. Regardless of my weight. Please drop in again. I would love to hear your thoughts. tracy

Tracy, thanks for the encouragement. I'm feeling a little less hopeless than I did when I last posted. I understand what you mean about being lonely even when you're with someone. For me, loneliness isn't about being alone; it's more about being unhappy about myself and being afraid that I won't find a way to be happy again.

I think I've gotten over the worst of my computer-game withdrawal. One day at a time. But I'm still watching too much TV, even though I know I'd be better off, and feel better, if I even just did some reading or journaling instead. That's what I'm going to work on next.

The past few weeks have been pretty weak in terms of food. A good friend who really tends to overeat emotionally all the time visited me for about ten days, and that meant going out for food a lot and having food in the house that I don't usually tempt myself with. I did try to keep exercising and eating reasonably when I wasn't with her though, so I'm hoping to maintain when I weigh in tonight.

Keep going, friends--it'll be worth it!

Lenore

Lenore!1

I was so glad to hear from you!1 of course i have my tv on now so i totally understand. Hmm maybe nextt ime you and the freind canmake salads at home and take a walk. I used to have a freind like that who only wanted to et.lol..that is hard tihng to get around as everyone usually does equate soial stuf wiht food!!

I hope to hear from you soon. YOU DO sound better!! I post when i am lonley now so it help me!! Chat wiht ya soon!! Tracy

Stickin' with it
 

Ah, I always feel better after weigh in; even though I was up a pound last night, I feel lucky that I didn't gain more, given the way I ate this past few weeks. My meeting leader is so wonderful that I go every other week even when I'm sure I'll gain (I'm returning lifetime, so I can do that without having to pay for the off weeks).

Tracy, I post when I'm down, or "bored" (now I'm convinced that boredom is really an excuse for not dealing with something) at work, or when I'm just wondering how folks are. You sound chipper enough, even with the TV on in the background!

Unfortunately, my friend's problem runs pretty deep; she's terrible about taking any kind of herself, especially physically. As a busy lawyer she's always got a reason not to eat a sensible meal and get some exercise. And she's always finding special occasions so she can take me to an exotic wonderful restaurant where all they have is trigger foods...I mean, how can you eat a dinner of tapas without loading on the fat? When she lived here, I could manage it, but when she's just here for a few weeks it's hard to be disciplined. Oh well; there went a few weeks of program; I won't let that get me down.

Lenore

Good for you Lenore...attitude is half the battle. You will get back on track. Have a great rest of the week.

Meg

Hi Lenore and Meg

I kow Lenore..Lawyers lifestyles are not conduicive to um healthy lifestyles!! ALl those long hours..and ttheydo not even stop when they leave home!! Dont worry about the pound. Our lovely hormones just love to add water weight!!!:lol: We are sooooooooo lucky!! I sometimes am chipper..alot not. I get depresses alot especialy in my freindships wiht women. I get hurt alot so sometims I am up..sometims not.. I like to get away from it like you dais..by posting ehre. And you are right..i do avoid life by posting here. I have found a community where suddenly..i fit in. Hope again..to hear form you soon!!

Hi meg..how are you?? I hope you are doing good too!!

Tracy

Hi, Suzanne. I'd heard also about the possible weight gain/loss taking antidepressants. I've been on Effexor for the last year and it has helped me even out my emotions. I'm told it's for anxiety as well as depression, and I can tell I don't experience the real "downs" I used to. But I'm sluggish and sleepy during the day, have gained weight in the last year since I started taking it, and in the last 2 years since I stopped working out regularly. It seems I am hungry all the time; it's the kind of hunger that makes you feel sick and weak, like you have to eat something, anything, or you will throw up. I try and be "good" and have fruit or something else healthy. But at the end of the day or if I'm really in a hurry or my defenses are down, I head for fast food or something else irrational and just start "stuffing." I don't think the Effexor is helping me as much as therapy would, but I disengaged myself from my last therapist as she was completely non-directional and too nice, if you know what I mean.

Is the journaling helping you deal with issues? At one time I used to record my dreams into a tape recorder (much easier and faster than trying to write them down). As the depression began to lift, I would dream more, and they were graphic, complex, bizarre, scary and even funny dreams. Recording them and then playing them back helped me understand some of the symbolism.

I'm glad I found this website! I know we can help one another.

Hey Gemini

I used to feel the same way!!Sleepy sluggish...it was awful. The i stopped. ANd now i am irritable again. I wish there was just an even out drug. I eat whn i am cycling in and out of these moods. Exercise has helped..but even that..is not working now.

Hi Everyone,
I too suffer from many of the same things that all of you do. Actually reading some of the posts
is like reading about myself.
I have a family history of depression, and the women in my family have always suffered with pretty intense mood swings. My mother actually
started taking a mild antidepressant, and I have been taking one for the past year. I started out
with Serafem(a form of prozac), than changed to Effexor, now I am back on the Serafem. The reason for the change was that I thought the Serafem was causing me to gain weight. Hah! Than I went on the Effexor, well let me tell ya ladies, it made me gain far more than I ever thought of on the Serafem. I also didn't think that it was doing much at all for me, compared to the Serafem. Well
it was doing me some good but I just didn't realize it until I stopped taking it. Well I went back to my doctor, and am now back on the Serafem. It works wonders for me, but I am still eating. This may be because I have been in the habit for a while, and need to start all over again.
I had lost 60 pounds and have gained it all back plus a few.
I am really glad to see this thread, because I think there are alot of women out there with the same problems, and may not really understand that it is depression. It took me many years, and a major problem in my life for me to finally admit(with the help of a therapist) that I needed some help(medication). Another real eye opener was my children. One day I saw my son fussing at his sister, and I saw myself. I was ashamed and scared about the effect that my depression was haveing on my children, and my marriage. There are some side effects to taking meds, but you have to really take a look at what is most important. No one has mentioned this, so I will. I think that anyone who
considers taking an antidepressant needs to know this, because I did not. It does have an effect on your sex life. Many doctors will tell that some drugs do, and some drugs don't. Well most of them do. It took a long time for my dh to believe that it was not something he was or wasn't doing, that it was the meds. It was a real relief to both of us when my therapist told me that this was very common. We have learned to live with this, because
if I don't take mt meds I am a true heathen. I cannot stand myself sometimes.
Well I know this was a bit longwinded, but I am so grateful to see this thread.
Hope all of you are well.

Chrissy

Depression in Family
 

Chrissy, Thank you for opening up this discussion. There is proof that depression runs in families. I wouldn't tell you my whole story unless you email me your personal email address so we could talk. However, the doctor put me on Zoloft, three times a day. I don't know if that is what has put weight on me or I've also been on Prempro (HRT) for eight years. I just found out that stuff also causes depression. Plus I have Hashimotos disease which is a thyroid condition that causes depression, too. Plus your thyroid controls everything.

I just completed a 10-week course called Choose to Lose. I did everything properly because I was working with a nutritionist. Well, everyone in the class lost weight except me!! It was very depressing. I think something is not function right or one of these drugs are making me put weight on. I just eliminated the Prempro just to see if the weight would come off.

I appreciate anyones insight on this too.

Hey Chrisy and Dee!

Chrissy thank you!! I feel that sometimes i am the only one dealing with this problem of depression and weight gain. My doctor referred me to a therapist but my ins. does not cover it. Plus my hubby thinks all this stuff is in my mind.

I have used prozac before..is sarfaem the same or another version of it.

I found wellbutrin to be really good both on depression and the sex part but it made me sleepy all the time.

The only way i control it now is to exercise. it seems to be the only thing that keeps me balanced and less fussy to my kids. And dee i hear ya. I have found the ame thing. what an eye opener to hear your kids act the same way!! Actually it was heartbreakin..the same thing happened to me as a child

I hope to read some more posts from both of you. It helps to know i am not alone.

Tracy

Depression and no activity
 

I was really struggling with fatigue due to my depression. I take Paxil and my doctor thought that the medication might be making me so exhausted. She put me on Adderall and lowered my dose of Paxil. Adderall is like Ritalin, but it's extended release. It seems to have balanced me out. She also tried Ritalin for me, but I frankly felt like I was high all the time. :o I was pretty worried about starting something from the amphetamene (sp?) family, but under her care I feel pretty secure. There are ways to balance out any meds you are on and your doctor should be willing to listen and try new things. Just really advice for everyone! :D

Hi myname is Jina, I am 36 years old and i am about 100 pounds overweight. I am very depressed, I sleep a lot and eat as if there is no tomorrow. I have a good husband who has never seen me thin.He accepts me as I am. We have been married for a year. He says if I am unhappy do something about it. I am trying really I am I need to be held accountable for my goals and so began searching and here I am.I realize I have to make a life change. I am so tired of being tired....

Hi Jina

I am also 36 years old. I think i have fallen back into my depression as I ahve been eating alot and sleeping too!!

have you seen a doctor?? I have trouble with mine becasue my hubby does not believe in depression.

I am tired of being tired too.

I know what helps me is to exercise..so i try to meet friends at the gym to exercise. Or lately i take a walk. If you got a pal enlist her..casue it sure is easier to walk wiht a friend...i wihs i had one close!!!

I am here for you ..if you need to vent to someone please pm me. We are in the same boat except my hubby has seen me thin..so he is realy disgusted by me.


I hope to hear from you soon!!


I alwasy have a minute to isten!!!!

Tracy

Depresson medication
 

I spent many years on various medications for depression, mostly Wellbutrin. Whereas it was invaluable at the time, I'm also glad to be rid of them now. I have recently discovered that, for me, withdrawal from sugar is very depressing. Sugar seems to be my drug of choice, and I spend most of my life either eating it or thinking about not eating it, or struggling to be able to eat it like a "normal" person.

I'm 60 years old and lost 130 pounds last year. Now I'm fighting the battle to maintain the loss, and of course sugar is playing a big part.

Has anyone else noticed a link between depression and sugar abuse?

SF Sue

Hi Sue!!

yes most def. After the body processes the sugar you go into a super low..so yes sugar is a factor in depression!!

I am a major sweet eater too so I hope to hear more from you. Maybe we can find things that we can substitute for sugar!!

I hope to hear from all of you soon!! Tracy

Hi Tall Tracy -

I'm going through withdrawal again. I can't believe I got into the sugar again. The withdrawal after the last time was absolutely hideous. Thank God I stopped myself a little sooner this time. It's bad, but not so bad.

But the thought of going the rest of my life without sugar is almost overwhelming. So I go to the old anonymous thing of "one day at a time". It gets me through, but it sure doesn't make me happy.

I have a few substitutes that help, although nothing really takes the place. Singing actually helps me. It make me feel good. And painting gives me something to do with my hands and lets me be really nit-picky in an acceptable way. Then I discover I don't need to be so nit-picky out in the world.

What do you do to substitute?

Oh, of course there's the real substitute of Stevia. According to a nutritionist/pharmacist I took a class from, it's the only thing that doesn't set up cravings.

Hi all,
I have been reading all of the posts, and I can relate in so many ways, first off let me just say I am glad I found this place. Everyone here seems so supportive.
Along with my depression I also suffered through panic attacks, bad thing with my panic attacks is I was paranoid about almost everything, so when it came to medications, and I read it could cause this or that, I was SURE I would end up with that side affect. So, my doctor had a battle, just trying to medicate me. I was first prescribed Prozac, but after weeks of not taking it, my doctor tried Zanax.
I can happily say that my panic attacks are no longer around, but my depression is, and I am so tired of this feeling. My husband and I are separated, and that was back in Aug. 2000, so I went through a whole year dealing with that. Never felt so alone in my life. My life has adjusted to him not being here, and now I just want to deal with my weight loss. I look forward to getting to know all of you.
*hugs*

Hi !!

Why don't you join us on the daily boards so we can all get to know you, vice verse ?

Hope to see you there.

Leenie :chef:

Hi, I found this site when I was jumping from weight loss site to other weight loss sites :)

I have been dealing and battling with depression for 10 years. I was diagnosed with clinical depression in 1992, however I haven't seen a shrink in 5 years, and after doing research on my own and talking with someone with a BA in psychology, I know now that I am manic depressive. When I am happy, I am so unbelievably "walking on a cloud" happy that I feel like nothing can break me. But almost instantly, I can hit the low end, and I will be so depressed that I will cry for days at a time.

I am on Tofranil (Imipramine), and it seems to help immensely. I still go up and down, but nowhere near as often or as severe as I do when I am not on meds. Depression has had alot to do with my weight gain, because I eat for comfort, which makes me more depressed, which causes me to eat more etc. Fortunately, finding sites like this one have helped me so much :)

I can't wait to meet you all. :)

What is stopping you right now from making an appointment with your family doctor? I have been on Zoloft for a few years with no major side affects. You have to take control of your life. It is not selfish to think about yourself. Why don't you pick up the phone now make an appointment and get some valuable help.

Currently I’m unemployeed, dont have any insurance and am barely able to pay the bills in order to keep a roof over my head.

But while I’m in a good frame of mind, I’m going to try and establish better eating habits. I’m also trying to educate myself, via the internet, on depression related weight problems.

Come to the daily thread each day!
 

That is the best way to get to know us....we are a great support to one another....hope to see you soon!

Liz