[tkglenn]

My husband went to iraq about 21/2 years ago and now suffers from PTSD, I think we all suffer from his PTSD, moreso me than him. It has taken a toll on my weight, depressions, stress, and intimacy with my husband. He gets stressed and depressed quite easily, sometimes for no reason at all, and ends up taking it out on us (and this he doesn't see because of his condition). I get the butt end of it and it hurts me. I end up getting depressed and just eat and eat and eat. I don't want to exercise or do anything that'll help me lose weight. I don't know if there is anyone I can talk to about what I have to go through with him and his PTSD. I try to shake it off but there are times when it's hard. Today I am down. Last night there were some issues that were brought up in a way and I know he's not happy about it. His mental and logical thinking isn't right and it effects me. It's hard for me to have any friends because of the way he thinks. He supports me in my weight loss journey but can't help me. I think he thinks I'll cheat on him and leave him once I'm feeling good. He can be a stubborn man, and more now with his PTSD. I just don't feel like doing anything today. I need motivation and inspiration----and lots of it.

[Robin41]

My husband was diagnosed with PTSD 10 years after he came home from Vietnam. It's now been 20+ years since he got treatment and it still comes up occasionally. I wasn't around at that time but I know it ruined his first marriage and he came close to committing suicide over the flashbacks he was having.

First of all, you need to recognize that you don't suffer more from his PTSD than he does. Not even close. I'm not saying this isn't miserable for you but it is nothing compared to what is going on in his head.

Secondly, have you approached the Veterans Administration about this? They run programs at every Veterans Hospital for this issue and he is definitely eligible. You may have to do the legwork for him and get the information if he is too depressed to do it, but do it. They also run programs for family who are effected by it as well. I see you're from Houston; they have a huge Veterans Hospital there. Go down to the information desk and start asking questions. Don't leave until you get some assistance.

There really is help available but they aren't going to come knock on your door to offer it. Go out and find it. PTSD doesn't go away by itself and the longer he goes basically untreated, the higher the chance of something really horrible happening.

[tkglenn]

Yeah, he didn't think anything was wrong until I really started pushing him about it and he finally went to the dr about it. now that has another issue in itself, but anyways, he recently started seeing a counselor about it and it has helped more than the meds. i keep telling him to check to see if theres someone i can talk to but he never checks. it's hard for me to go down to the va because i have 4 children. i think i should go anyways. living with someone who has ptsd is hard and it takes a toll.

[MangoKitty]

I have PTSD, and to be honest, it sucks. You need to make sure he gets counseling, and you need to get counseling yourself. I know it's difficult for my husband to deal with me at times, and he receives counseling as well. It has helped tremendously. Good luck to you.

[tkglenn]

yeah, he does go to counseling and it has helped. he's only gone twice so far. i want someone i can talk to too.

[MangoKitty]

Originally Posted by tkglenn

i want someone i can talk to too.

Well then get someone sweety! You have to take charge of your life, no one can get you help except for you. make it happon!

[mandalinn82]

I have PTSD also, and would like to second, third, and fourth the notion that, while it isn't fun to be in a relationship with someone with PTSD, it is even less fun to have it. Truly.

You should have resources available to you through the VA as the spouse of a military member with PTSD. You getting counseling would be great...you'd not only be able to work through your feelings about the trials of dealing with your husband's PTSD, you'd also learn how to better support HIM so his symptoms have less of an effect on your family...both very positive things.

With a quick search, I also located this message board for military spouses, with a whole forum devoted to PTSD. If nothing else, it might help to talk to other military spouses in your situation.

http://militarysos.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=117

There ARE resources out there. Call around, find online support, and most of all realize your husband isn't doing anything -to- you to upset you. He's in a world of pain and fear and has no idea how to manage it. Hopefully, if you both get help, you'll emerge on the other side stronger both as individuals and as a couple.

[tkglenn]

thank you. I'll looking at that and maybe i'll get alot of help that way. Thank you agian.

[Fun Size]

I've had some issues with that as well, but am doing significantly better. I agree that counseling can be a major help. Medication is sometimes needed and one should not hesitate to get it when it is called for. I also am a big believer in the B Vitamins. An overall B multi vitamin (like a B50) can be helpful with these types of things (double check with Dr./nurse or nutritionist). In addition, I believe getting a better handle on our food intake and getting in some exercise makes a difference. Put one foot in front of the other, take baby steps...but doing all these things...even in small increments...can make a very nice dent in a difficult problem like PTSD.

[sunflowergirl68]

i just want to say that I am so sorry. My boyfriend is in the army and he got lucky and was sent to Kosovo. While he was different when he came back, I cant imagine going through what you ladies are going through. You all are just so amazing...I honestly think that.

Military wives and girlfriends (and husbands and boyfriends) are among the strongest people in our country and I really admire you all for that. thanks for sharing