[dancingirl81]

I'm not sure if this is considered OT or not. I was reading a post about PTSD... and although I don't believe I fit the criteria for it, the word flashbacks jumped out at me and started waving a big neon sign.

in the spring of last year, my mom's brother killed himself - he was 45, no wife or children, and lived 4 houses down from me. It was my parents and I that noticed something wasn't right - and my mom and I that beat on the windows and doors of the house, before finally calling the state police to search. it was a blessing that we called them, instead of us going in and finding him.

for several days (or weeks, I can't remember now) after that night, I had vivid visions of him taking his life, even though i didn't actually witness the event. I'm not sure why, but over the past several days, I've started having those visions again... or worse, ones of him lying dead on the floor. I don't know what's triggered them... there doesn't seem to be a logical connection to anything going on in my life...

Has anyone else dealt with anything like this? How long before you felt anywhere near normal again? What other surprises are waiting for me as I work through this?

[tkglenn]

My DH suffers from PTSD because he had gone to Iraq. He wasn't really in a battle zone and didn't see any hum v's get blown up or anything like that but he does get flashbacks. When he hears the littlest noices at night (mostly) he will jump up and ask what that noice was and search the house for what it was or just to check to make sure everything is ok. He says that it brings back memories of when they got attacked. He could be dead asleep and hear the tiniest noice and wake up. Maybe you do suffer alittle from PTSD or depression. I would go talk to a doctor about it or some kind of counselor. He was taking meds for PTSD but they never help. He stopped taking them but hasn't gone back for a new kind of med. They say every medicine is different for each person. He is now currently seeing a counselor though and that has REALLY helped him. Maybe you just need someone to talk to about it. It does help. Good luck and sorry to hear about your loss. I know it's hard to cope but everything will be OK. Take care.

[Leenie]

I'm so sorry

The tragic loss of some one close can really bring on alot of emotions/thoughts/experiences, etc. I agree that seeing a doctor to talk about this would help. I also think talking to your parents and telling them what your going through is very important.....its a healing process as well. I have lost loved ones but not by suicide. Nevertheless, a loss is a loss and it still hurts.... keep your communications open and feel better

.

[SunshineRunner]

Dancing - I know exactly where you are coming from. After a traumatic event in my life over 7 years ago...in which I thought I had gotten past after the first year...the images and thoughts were in my mind heavily just one year ago (after 6 years of the thoughts/images being out of my mind)...I have learned to recognize that some things set them off..but I also think that some stress sets it off too...unrelated stress...I have moved on again - but I also have less stress in my life right now. Unfortunately...I don't think there will ever be a time when I don't have the flashbacks...but I do think that I will be able to go long periods without them...

[milleradah]

hello i am not a dr but it could be that i say this because i lost my brother to suicide 7 years ago..he was 17 at the time. looking back 7 years later i think the first year was the easiest i know that sounds crazy. but everyone is still there. helping , talking ...but then as the years go on it is like everyone forgets about it. this might not be the case but it does seem like it at times. i know for me and many people i have talked to say the same thing. if you think you need to see a dr. then doo that there is nothing wrong with it at all. as for triggers well i know for me it can be anything from a movie to something someone says. at first i used to always see him at the end ...but now i see the fun and loving brother he was. i don't want him memories to be about his death but about his life.....if you would like too talk about it more i am very happy too. of if you would like groups that deal with this i know of some that can help
huggs
adah

[LindaT]

I think I've been dealing with this issue myself a bit and for me it has gotten better.

21 years ago I found my father dead in his house. At the time I was staying at his home due to just having ankle surgery and needing a place to stay that the wheelchair I was in could easily be maneuvered about in. It was very unexpected. It wasn't suicide, like yours was

For a long time I had almost nightly nightmares about him being in distress and dying and me not being able to save him. Over time it got less and less, but even now , 21 years later I'll have one every 4-6 months. For me it was just time and prayer and finally getting it that there was nothing I could have done. I never went for counseling about this problem but it can be very beneficial. I would encourage you to seek help.