Okay so I will save the long story for another date but bottom line is I am extremely stressed/high anxiety due to 2 parents dying back to back 3 years ago. That is what spurred my weight loss journey but what scared the heck out of me was court drama with my ex earlier this year. Then in August he died. Lots of mixed emotions, won't go into that but basically on a good note, no more court drama.

The bad note is my blood pressure has been high cause of this. Because of my mom being on so many pills for so many years I am completely freaked out by meds. Both my parents were diabetics and that scares the snot out of me.

Bottom line I feel like everyone is dying and what if I am next etc.

Okay so after getting lightheaded last week I told myself I have to get to a doc, no more excuses. That hopefully there is nothing seriously wrong with me but that if there is I need to face it so I can get help and find out how best to protect myself, KWIM?

So I dragged myself in yesterday. I thought I would have an anxiety attack just doing that but with God's help I didn't. Had to wait for like 4 hours. Anyways, I have not been to a reg. doc since I was 15.

They did my b.p. and it said 151/110!!!! He told me I am a time bomb at that rate.

He told me he thinks the b.p. is cause of my weight and I really don't think so. I know people way higher than 193 and no b.p. problems. He was concerned about both my parents being diabetic but truthfully I don't think it is hereditary. I think food is a learned behaviour, KWIM? Mom frys alot of foods and has alot of sweets, doesnt exercise, kid grows up and does the same thing. Mom is a health nut and walks alot/exercise, kid grows up and.....you get it.

Like I said I have completely changed my lifestyle in the past 2.5 years and am down 87 pounds! I walk 60-80 minutes 6 days a week. I still have treats once in a while and I have lost this even eating out once a week. I could go on and on.

Anyhow he had ,me come in to the lab today and do testing for hepatitis (mom died of that), diabetes, thyroid, cholesterol, etc.

So I did. He wrote me out a prescription for some b.p. med. I asked him about altenol cause I have heard a few people who have that and he said no cause my heart rate is fine. (I do not want any meds but I am doing what I can to protect myself with the thought this won't have to be permanent.)

I did ask him if in his opinion diabetes can be reversible with losing weight. He said yes but you still need to lose 19 lbs!

Ummm...hello!!! I have lost 87 lbs and 19 seems like chump change to me. God willing and with me really focusing on this that may just be a few more months.

I explained to him that I think this problem is cause I am extremely stressed about both my parents dying and my ex. And he is like, well what does your ex dying have to do with you???????

Grrr.......

I won't go on. ugghhhh.

Okay so I really didn't want to do b.p. med but I was thinking maybe temporarily but what scares me besides the fact it may not help/may not work/may hurt me in some other way, etc. Is that he seemed very skeptical if I would be able to go off it.

That is scary. But I am trusting in God and we went out to the waiting room. Oh and he told me that he thinks I have had high anxiety for a long time and that I should see a psychiatrist. I can buy that one.

He also asked if I had ever been diagnosed as bipolar. I have asked my dh that before if he thinks I am or not. My mom was.

Maybe that is a learned behavior too.

I do know that my moods can swing sometimes but after all I have been thru in the last 4 years I am not surprised. 2 parents dying, a divorce, very messy, a miscarriage, now my ex passing. My dh tells me that I have gone thru alot. My Aunts tell me that I am one of the strongest people they know.

I have not really researched or given much thought to the bipolar thing. Can anyone give me a heads up?

Okay so dh and I go out to waiting room and I have everything figured out in my head and that no matter what God is going to protect me. Joe is rubbing my head and next thing another nurse is coming out to do another b.p. reading.

Guess what it was? 120/82!!!!!!!!!!!! I had to ask her over and over again if she was kidding!!!! She wasn't.

I was sooo happy! And I told her to tell the doc cause if I don't HAVE to do b.p. pills than I would rather not!! I went up to him and he was surprised. He said well, I still....and I said look if I can not take them I really would rather not and he said, well I want to give you something, we can wait and see about the b.p. meds. Can I give you an anxiety med? SO I said yes.

My aunt who was having this very similiar problem and didn't go on b.p. but went on anxiety med instead. And now she is fine. Stress related. She said she got on lexapro and now they switched her to something else cause of insurance.

So I felt alot better about that. I don't want to stay on that though but for now til I can start calming down.

I will start the pill tomorrow and my aunts are already telling me that the first few weeks it can be hard adjusting to a new med.

Guess what the pill says? It can cause anxiety, lightheadedness, dizziness, on and on. ugghhhhhhhh Isn't that an oxymoron. I am really just praying these test come back clean cause I think that is my biggest problem is the worry. Maybe I can then take it for a short time and then get off it.

I am extremely anxious about any pills/long term effects, etc. I tell myself this doesn't have to be forever just til I get situated. So someone please tell me that buspar is okay, that I won't gain a bunch of weight and that they are familiar with it.

I don't think I have a b.p. problem, I think I have a high anxiety problem that makes my b.p. go up when I stress!

I normally google everything and have found out so much stuff about nutrition/exercise etc. I am scared to look into this much cause I am already paranoid about everything anyways but I know I need to do something even if it is just temporary. I don't want to go look a bunch of crap up about this and get so scared I can't take this to calm down. KWIM?

Hi Jasmine,

You have been through a lot. Good for you for researching things - you can't just leave it in the hands of doctors - they are human - you need to advocate for yourself and you seem to be doing a great job. Kudos on the weight loss and getting your BP down !!!!!

I have BiPolar II. For YEARS I was misdiagnosed as depressed - so the depression meds would either not work - or work for a short time and then stop. With BiPolar you go through periods of depression and mania - these can cycle over months or years. In my case - I started rapid cycling and it was VERY scary. I always believed it was BiPolar - racing thoughts, talking really fast to the point where friends would tell me they had talked to me on the phone for three hours and I was going on and on - periods of really high energy and self confidence - followed by severe depression - NO energy - lack of self esteem. On top of it all - with the rape and all I have added anxiety/panic disorder. This in itself has been severely debilitating. I get INTENSE physical symptoms - racing heart for DAYS - foot pain - chest pain - stomach issues - cramping etc. I am on Buspar (among a number of other things) and it works incredibly well for the physical symptoms. I can't stress enough what a difference it makes - now I also take mood stabilizers so that has helped even me out - but they did not help the physical symptoms of the anxiety and panic. ALL medications have lists of POSSIBLE side effects that are scary as ****. Thats why I hate getting my meds adjusted but with the BiPolar it will be a lifelong thing. These side effects are ONLY possibilities and very likely will NOT bother you. IMO - the Buspar is well worth trying and maybe just think of it as a short term necessity. I also think that therapy would be very helpful - I use both meds and a therapist and psychiatrist.
I know what you mean about hating to take meds - I take nine prescriptions - but they CAN help and for me they have made the difference between functioning so that I can work and take care of my son - and being totally nonfunctioning.

If you look online at websites OTHER than the manufacturers you can usually find side effects and percent of occurances.

I LOVE the med and it has really made a big difference for me. If you decide to take it - I hope you have good luck with it as well.

HUGS

Nancy

Jasmine, reading your post you SOUND manic! Can you go and seek a proper opinion from a psychiatrist to get a correct diagnosis?

witchyonadiet

Thanx! Yeah I really think it is not a blood pressure problem, but an anxiety problem and that my b.p. goes up when I am stressed. We need to treat the problem, not the result of the problem.
Yeah my mom was bi polar. My Aunt told me that she seriously doubts that I am and so does my dh. Yeah the anxiety/panic disorder I definately have.
Yeah my other aunt said she was on anti anxiety for a few months. She said my body just needs to rest. I really feel once the tests come back clear next week I can start to not worry about that any more and start to stabilize again.
I think I am going to go see a psych for a while. Especially since the physical problems I am having seem to be cause by my anxiety/panic disorder and reg. docs don't really know how to treat that. KWIM?

I understand completely. That is what I was telling myself the other day that the way I was at the time I was NOT able to do what I needed to do.

I think I need to stay away from that for now or that will freak me out again. haha
Thanx so much for your post!! *HUGE HUGZ*

Well I started taking it the night before thanksgiving and I have had now 3 nites of sleep at 4 hours! ugghhh. But turkey day I did find myself a little loopy and wound up falling flat on my face in the closet. lol But it was the med and I was laughing. I am starting to feel better. Thank goodness.

We'll see how this goes. My aunt says sometimes it can take a few weeks to get adjusted to a new med.

augigi

Yes he gave me an rx to go see one so that is on my list too. Thanx.