I think I have only posted in this group a few times but I am sitting at work in total freak out mode, wanting to toss out my fruit in the garbage and buy a pound of M & M's and I'm close to tears. I have bipolar 2 and take Lamictal and Topamax. The coming of fall, less light and cooler temps is always a bad time for me. I'm not even sure how I feel right now...Like, depressed about the fear of becoming depressed in the winter/fall? And I have a new job and still not enough money and I have no idea what I'm doing with my life....

And so I'm desperately lonely that I might break something.

Point is, I'm practically snorting M & M's for the last week or so. And I came to this group to find some inspiration to stay on track but instead - and her's why I am so twisted - I keep reading posts looking for someone who's written something that would give me permission to go buy more M & M's. Like I want to just read one post where someone says, "Yeah. I know it's really hard to lose weight and fight depression. Take a week (or 2 or, in my case 3) off and eat all the M & M's you need. It's ok." But noooooooooooo! You guys keep writing about exercise and how much it helps. I already exercised today and I STILL WANT M & M'S!!! NOW WHAT!!!!

I'm not gonna tell you to go eat m&m's, but here's a hug. Fall and winter are always harder for me too. I fell off the wagon and into a vat of sugar last week too and getting back on track is so hard.

Great job on getting the exercise in, now keep walking... away from the m&m's.

I hear you on the fear of a winter depression. I love winter and hate it all at the same time. And I do understand about the new job/money/life path. Boy oh boy do I get you there! You are definitely not alone on anything you are feeling.

But, back to your question. You've exercised but you still want to inhale M&M's. Gotcha. Been there. I had my day when I inhaled Honey Mustard pretzels and a box of Milk Dud's all in the same afternoon. Spent the next two weeks trying to undo that damage. So, to save you from that fate please try to change your perspective. You do realize you are 7 pounds away from your planned reward weekend in Vegas? Seven pounds! I mean holy crap, girlfriend, I'm still trying to get to 15 pounds lost, I can't imagine being that close to 50! You could be there before Christmas. You could, if you lose weight faster than me, be there for Thanksgiving. Betcha they have some really fantastic Thanksgiving spreads available to choose from! So leave the M&M's where they are and try starting some research on your upcoming trip. Which hotel/casino are you going to try to stay in, what shows if any are you going to try to see . . . what are you going to wear . . . concentrate on the reward, you'll get past the craving. One minute at a time.

You can do it.

yeah, what kappy said!

Sometimes nothing will stop the craving for M&Ms. That still doesn't mean you "get" to eat them. You just have to tough it out--it will change, you'll see, if you just tough it out.

Eat something crunchy, like carrot sticks or baby carrots, instead--it's not an M&M but it will keep your mouth occupied for a few minutes and give you some good fiber and carbs...

Hang in there! Don't give in!

Jay

Hey soulnik...I am sorry you are feeling so bad. I'm bipolar II (amongst other things) and take Lamictal, too. Do you think maybe your meds need adjusting? Or is it just the fall/winter thing coming on? It also sounds like you have a lot of stress right now. I can understand why you might want to turn to food for comfort. When I feel lonely, I want to eat too. And I've really messed up my eating plan in the past when I've done this...just gone crazy. Coming here and reading/posting helps me feel less lonely. Everyone here really does care and can relate. That's great that you exercised. It's hard to do when you feel so crappy, but everyone says that it helps with depression and anxiety. I find that to be true in that I feel good about myself, that I have accomplished it, when I do it...even when I'm not depressed/stressed.

As far as th m&ms go, I don't know if this would work for you, but it might: if you have a sweet tooth, you could get individually portioned out chocolates, Dove has those 100-cal chocolate thingees (chocolate covered pretzels, twix like things, etc.) and Ghirardelli has bags of chocolate squares wrapped individually, they are about 35 cals per piece. Maybe you could allow yourself one or two of those a day? I would say first try to find other ways to sooth your soul (you know, I'm sure you've heard these things before: bubblebaths, reading, writing in a journal...I also distract myself playing on the internet) because it's never good to use food as a bandaid for what ails us (I posted that I do this on another thread...it's something that I am working to find a solution to).

I hope you feel better soon, and come back here when you are feeling yucky/lonely/depressed. We will listen to you and give you support. Hugs.

Buy a tiny bag of m and m's and then try and get as much sunshine in as possible.

On one hand when I was on topamax I felt more depressed so maybe your meds need tweaking.

You could try checking into the Chicks in Control newsgroup. I hang out over there too, since I have a problem with binge eating.

Some people are able to eat a little bit of what they crave, and feel fine, and some people are just set off tasting a little bit. Those small size packages of chocolate can be good, and sometimes when I'm feeling more in control I get them. But I also get in moods where I can go through an entire bag of 'single servings' in a night. Lots of little wrappers.

On those days, I either get nothing or I'll go to the quickie mart here and buy one tootsie roll. And then leave and go home before I eat it. Then I have to count on laziness from keeping me from going back for another.

girl i hear you. someone brought donuts into our office today and they asked me if i wanted one and i said "ME? No thanks, i can't eat just one"...so it is up to you. are the type that can just eat a handful and then move on? if so, i say eat a few. enjoy and move on .however, if you are like me and know that a few will not be enough, then your job is to avoid M&Ms like the plague.

every time i read a diet article or book all i want to hear is "it's OK to eat everything in sight." which i know is not OK, but deep down, i dream of eating cookies and whipped cream til i pop

Here are two books to take a look at:
[U]Food and Mood[/U
]Potatoes, Not Prozac

I think I might like the first one a little better. The second one advocates getting rid of sweets altogether. Both seem to indicate that folks prone to depression can get "addicted" to sweets and that this in the end, causes more problems. As we all know, the sugar can give a temporary high, but it causes many problems as well. IT seems it might be best to limit sweets.

What I have done is only buy my "sugar" in those 100 calorie packets. Period. I don't care about the cost. If I find myself out of control, I throw stuff away or give it away. This is a costly way of doing things...I know. I don't care. I have locked things up as well. But I do my very best to stick to only 100 calories of something sweet (almost always chocolate) a day. I also have my husband helping me. If I have a super duper over the top difficult day, I will have 2-100 calorie packets and try to exercise a little more.

I do exercise 5 days a week. I was doing 6, but found it difficult to fit in schedule wise. Now that I'm at five days, I just exercise a little harder and a little longer. However, I try not to exhaust myself. Getting exhausted is also depressing. I really like exercising now...it took A LONG time to get to this point. I DO, REALLY DO, find it helps with depression. I was counting on this.

Other things that help: getting in a little sunshine (if possible), Vitamin B (B50 Tablet) Fish Oil and reading positive material, listen to nice music, etc.

When things are over the top...it's helpful to see a therapist.

Are you on any traditional program to help you lose your weight? Programs like Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig or even following the YOU on a Diet program might be something to consider. They all work, but the bottom line is that you will have to make the committment to do the work.

I know it is all hard. You have to do work to fight depression and work to lose weight. BUT the good...actually GREAT, SUPER DUPER, WONDERFUL, FABULOUS news is that all this hard work WILL pay off in the end. HANG IN THERE AND FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT.

Soulnik,
I am so glad you are posting and I hope you will stick around. You are strikingly gorgeous and congrats on such wonderful work with your weightloss! I wish I could say something that would fix up your mood, but I think that by being aware of your feelings you will be able to remain on your path of positive chage.

And if you have chosen the M&Ms, don't be too hard on yourself. Pick up and keep on keepin' on.