[spunker]

I had a therapy appointment today. Towards the end my therapist informed me that she was moving on to a different job. So her last day there is April 20. So we were planning out the remainder of our sessions. She'll be making $15,000 - $20,000 more and won't have to work a second job any more. I am so happy for her and completely adore her.

I've never made such progress with anyone else.

She's trying to get me in with someone who she thinks I'll click with very well; she has a few people in mind, but it will depend on their schedules.

I figured I was okay with it, but when I left, at first it made me not want to b/p (as I was planning one before my appointment). I just wanted to get home. But then my mom called and asked if I wanted to join her and her friend for dinner. So, on my way there I started crying about the whole therapist leaving bit (I know, I'm being absolutely ridiculous).

I know it's so stupid, but when I first started going to her, I was suicidal, no job, living at home, sleeping nearly all day, no motivation, etc. In the 2 1/2 years (would've been 3 this summer), I have come such a long way - own place, holding down a full time job (almost a year at my current job, which is a massive improvement alone), car, can function for the most part.

No other therapist has ever done so much for me.

During our last session, we're going to go to subway and celebrate her new position as well as the progress I have made.

I just, I don't know. She has helped me get through so much, and we've definitely clicked. Because of my work schedule, she stays late; she said that she would not do that for her other clients, but she would for me.

I just sort of feel lost. I've been in therapy on and off since the age of 16 (now 22). No other therapist did as much as she has done. I stopped going to old therapists because I didn't like going, it did nothing for me.

I'm terrified of a major relapse. I've been struggling a lot since the beginning of the year (when I relapsed pretty big time with the eating disorder), and I'm terrified I'm going to take a huge, unhealthy leap backwards. I mean, I know I don't have a choice, and like I said, I am so happy for her. She deserves it so much.

Also, since I've been her client for awhile (she's been there about as long as I've been seeing her. she's been there 3 years, I've been seeing her nearly 3 years), I want to get her a little something for our last session.

I know it's generally inappropriate for clients to give a therapist anything, and they really aren't allowed to accept anything, but does anyone have suggestions of what would be considered appropriate for this situation? A card maybe? I don't know.

But yeah, any suggestions on an appropriate "gift" or anything?

[sweet_talker]

I'm really sorry to hear that she's going, that must really suck, especially since you've made so much progress. I think a card or small gift would be appropriate, taking into account how much she's helped you and how well you work together.

Maybe a nice bottle of wine, or a bottle of higher-end bath bubbly stuff.

If you don't feel comfortable doin' that sorta thing, definitely just give her a hug and thank her for what you think she's done for you.

[Jman1]

So, on my way there I started crying about the whole therapist leaving bit (I know, I'm being absolutely ridiculous).

I don't think you're being ridiculous at all! You're losing a close friend, confidante, and parent all wrapped up in one. Remember that if you don't like the one she sends you to, there are tons of other ones you can try.

I've never heard that therapists aren't supposed to accept gifts. When I left one because I moved away, I sent her a book I thought she'd find meaningful and a nice note and she replied with a beautiful thank you card.

[shrinkingchica]

I sent my old therapist a card a few months ago to let her know how I have been since I last saw her and to thank her for her help at a time when I desperately needed it. She sent back a note thanking me for taking the time to tell her how I've been and that so few patients let them know or thank them and so it was appreciated.
So, that was my experience. A card can do no harm at all.

[shrinkadink]

I am so sorry - these situations are so horrible. I had to stop seeing my therapist due to insurance crap, and it's been very stressful and annoying. But I think it's important for you to remember that your therapist isn't the only person responsible for your progress the past 2 years - a lot of it has been YOU! And I think you should try & give yourself a little more credit and realize how strong you really are. You can make this work, no matter what obstacle life throws at you!

It's great that she is helping you connect with a therapist she thinks will be good for you - since you trust her so much, I would really trust her opinion on this situation.

I have heard that therapists usually can't accept gifts from patients, but I don't know how true that is or not. I do think a lovely card with heartfelt sentiment from you would be more appropriate, and may very well be more appreciated than some random gift.

I wish you lots of luck. Have faith in yourself - you have come a long way and you can handle this!

[spunker]

Firstly, I apologize that it's taken me ages to reply. Ended up having a very long week ahead of me.

I appreciate the responses a lot.

I talked to my mom about this very briefly, and she pointed out that maybe with a new therapist, I'll gain more coping skills and whatnot, things to help me progress farther.

So, I'm feeling a bit better about the situation. It still seems odd, but I do think that it will be just fine.

sweet_talker, I'm not sure if she's much of a drinker (even wine), but I think the higher-end bubbly bath stuff would be very nice, especially with the stress of a new job. Thanks!

Jman1, I don't want to be too picky with therapists (lol I know that sounds odd), but I'm going to a free agency (basically government funded since I don't have insurance), but I do know what you are saying.

It's very important to 'click' with your therapist otherwise you'll get nowhere, which truly has been a reason for lack of progress. Granted, it greatly depends on the person and how they choose to go, but a good therapist is always beneficial. Based on our 'relationship' over the last, well, near three years, she's trying to find someone there that she thinks I will click with, basically people that are her friends.

She said there are some people she wouldn't even consider putting me with.

As for the gifts, yeah, she said at one point that they really aren't supposed to accept gifts given their position/power of influence, etc. Basically they just don't want them having high influence over clients, and clients spending a ton of money for gifts for the therapist, but I definitely think it's a bit different in the circumstances of either therapist or client leaving.

shrinkingchica, that's great you sent your therapist a card. I think it's nice to let them know how much they have truly helped. I don't generally express myself very well (in person - go completely red in the face), so I fear that sometimes I come off cold hearted. Once a friend broke down crying in front of me, and I was absolutely terrified, didn't know what to do.

So, I think a card is a very nice way to show appreciation for all their hard work, and I know my therapist has really worked hard for me. She stays late for me because of work, and she said there's no other client she would do that for, and to me, that means so much as I know she could be off doing better things.

shrinkadink, thank you very much I'm sorry to hear you had to stop seeing your therapist because of insurance (I despise insurance!).

I definitely trust her, and I know she would never steer me the wrong way.

----

Again, thank you everyone for the replies. They are greatly appreciated.

I'm definitely feeling much better about it, and like I said, I definitely trust her, and that I know she will never nor has ever done anything deliberately that would've caused something bad or whatever. If I trust her, I should definitely trust her opinion when it comes to who she decides to put me with (and then go from there).

Thanks everyone