W.O.W. Declaration of THINdependence ~ Week 5!
 

Thanks for starting the thread Shari!

Yesterday was pretty tough day food wise. Sunday's are the worst because of our potluck anyway, but as it was mothers day I ate too much.

Today will be better I promise :) I am spending the night with my little sister tonight so my workout will be later in the day tomorrow (depending on how Tommy is feeling). I cant wait to get back to the gym!

YAWN. I slept long and hard last night. I cant believe how tired I am. I would really like to call in sick, but unfortunately I am way too responsible to do it.

W 64oz
E extra laps at work
E 1400 cals
D Keep up for the day. Remind myself the week is almost over. (ok I know it is monday, but once I make it through today I get a day off, then only two in a row)

Happy Monday, or at least Monday...

Didn't fish Turbo Jam out yesterday like I planned, but got a lot of cleaning and planting done. Today is back to work.

Scale was unkind again this am, no idea why...keep at it. Just had a bowl of light & fit mixed w a serving of granola. Yum.

Today's weed
W 100 oz
E Did my crunches, 2 miles at lunch. Not sure if I am running today or tomorrow after work, but definitely one of them.
E Plan
D Focus on the big picture, healthy, not skinny.

morning ladies. I have to go back to work today after 2 glorious days off. I mean thursday/friday :) I was so frustrated by it, that I didn't get to sleep til around 2 am. I am exhausted. I got up, got showered, did my skincare thing (which is becoming more routine now) and got made up. I'm about to throw together a big salad. I'm hungry already.

Yesterday probably could've been better eatingwise. I sat with a bag of sunflower seeds all day, which is probably what did me in.

DH did NOT want to look through my healthy cookbooks to decide what we're doing for dinner this week. I guess he'll do it HIS way. At least he's not drinking, which is where most of his weight comes from. Did I mention that when his mom was here, she actually blamed ME for his weight problem??? She said I fed him too well...over fed him. I was NOT happy and of course he didn't think anything of it, or anything of saying "nope it's not her it's me."

Ugh. Men. LOL

Anywhoo....let's see if i can crank out some weed:
w: 64 oz. I'm gonna try. been REALLY behind lately
e: walking on breaks. Probably a workout dvd when i get home
e: 1500 calories hopefully
d: focus on what's important, my health, my new career. Avoid the stuff that makes me feel bad, like worrying about how miserable I am at work.

Yay! I'm so glad to see you all again. I need to focus on posting at least once a day here :)

Ok off to the races!

Hi girls! I'm gonna pretend I'm just now starting this challenge. I like Mondays for starting diets and getting motivated.

Well.....deep breath, let's get this over with. My "big secret". Try not to judge me? And I'll tell it as I see it and please don't think I'm just making a bunch of excuses.

Well as some of you remember I had that GYN surgery back in Feb, then the thing got infected and I was in a bunch of pain. Well the infection cleared up but I figured out pretty easily that pain pills made me feel better, and I didn't just mean the pain. It made me nicer, calmer, more patient. (Yes, high, but it didn't seem like that at the time) And I got hooked on prescription pain pills. It escalated and I'm ashamed to say, I did take steal from and use at work. This went on for about 6-8 weeks and then I got pulled into the office because the Accudose picked up on some suspicious activity under my ID. So I confessed to having a problem and admitted everything.

Side note, there was a girl I worked with about a year ago who came to work drunk on more than a few occasions and the day she was "caught" she basically cursed everyone out and left on the spot. So her license is clean, she's out there practicing nursing but still has a problem. So that was one option for me, or I could try to lie my way out of it, but I really felt relieved to be found out and admitted to it all.

The same day I was confronted, someone from the psych outreach program called me and set me up with a psychiatrist and I went and saw him THE SAME DAY. He set me up with a counsellor(Sheila, my angel!) and I've been seeing her twice a week for four weeks now. She also has me going to group therapy sessions once a week. The doctor wanted to put me on sedatives/ anti-anxiety meds but I was fearful, didn't want to turn one addiction to pills into another. But I eventually relented and they don't alter my mood at all and they really do help with my anxiety.

I lost my job the next week, after 11 years of service and awards in nursing excellence. I was just so embarrassed and ashamed. Everyone could see that I was off the schedule but no one knew why and everyone called but I was just too depressed to talk about it. I even withdrew from here and you guys and I could have talked about it here, semi-anonymously online.

I've been going to NA and AA meetings, see Sheila twice a week, group once a week and will have four weeks clean this friday. I feel better and I'm glad that my employer saved my life before the addiction progressed into doing more/worse things. I feel it all came to light very, very early on. I think I was using to medicate myself for depression, self esteem issues, etc.

My husband has been struggling with anger and sadness over the whole thing and all I could worry about is him leaving me and taking the kids, losing the house, losing everything. But we are working through it all and seem to be coping okay.

Financially, I am able to collect unemployment (the hospital said they would not contest it) and I am going to cash out my 401 to pay off our big bills (I know, bad choice tax wise, but we would otherwise lose our home, and even unemployment is a huge hit in our income)

So. I've been telling some friends, individually about my problem and have been suprised at the compassion and the kindness shown by others. I still struggle with depression and guilt/shame. Health and weight wise, I lost a lot that first week (laying in bed and crying all day) but have since put it all back on. I weighed 261 this morning so I'll go by that.

Well I'll hit submit now before I lose my nerve to post it and be back later for personals and a plan to get back to healthy, inside and out. xo Michelle

Good Afternoon Family~:grouphug:

JasonsLean - It's never to late you got it started and that is great...are we ready for
week 5

Jeni - Sometimes all the hard work we do gets us very tired.....but we must continue our journey we will suceed.

Mothermavis - Cleaning and planting is a good work out too... the other things in our daily routines count too. Your bowl of food sound delicious. Keep up the good work~

Holyteror - You crack me up... hehehe...well you are doing awesome and we all know you didn't over feed him...hahahahaha

NurseMichelle - I would like to say I am glad that you are doing better. No judgment here - that took a lot of courage to do. Also to get yourself some help and to admit your addiction and mistakes. You have accepted ok this happened now I move forward. Keep getting all the help you can to stay on track with your Angel Sheila. Sounds like she has really helped you through the hardest times. I think it is great that you turned yourself around. You are human we all do something in our lives that we are not happy about. But we are here for you and hope that you will keep positive. :)



W 64oz
E 25 Minute Treadmill Completed - Wii Fit tonight
E 1500 cals
D Determined to stay on my mission

JL- Thanks for gettin' us goin'

JCat- You're allowed to have a bad eating day on Mother's Day. I have a yummy chocolate cake that I baked myself to prove it!

MM- Happy Monday to you to. I like TJ but don't love it. I force myself every now and then to try it. I like the Firm.

Nursie- Glad to see that you're reaching out to all the support that's available to you. Here's a great big cyber hug just for you!

Jaya- I think I'll join you for wii fit tonight. Yoga is my fave; can't do much with the balance stuff though.

Today was so so eating. Had pasta and bread for lunch and then again for dinner. TOM should soon be here. Trying not to gain this week but the carb monster and water retention are brutal!

Still having probs getting here so I'll post the plan for tomorrow:

W- 3-4 glasses
E- mindful
E- cardio/strength
D- "All my life's a circle..." Where's Aud to finish the lyrics of these songs??

Cartoon For The Day
 

I decided everyday I am going to post something that we can all chuckle at...

Today's Cartoon
:rofl:
Cheers~

Jaya I like your cartoon

MM~I mix my lite and fit with cherrios! I love it that way.

HolyT~My grandmother-in-law blames me too for my DH's eating habits. Of couse she is a control freak! I don't put the fork to his mouth. I am not his mama.

Michelle :hug: no judgment, ever. I am so sorry that you lost your job, I hope you are able to get something else in your field. I am so glad that you are in recovery and that you told us. I hope so much for you, I know you will succeed. There is no shame in admitting a problem, the shame is when you don't admit it. I love you so much, hang in there honey.

Grazer: :o FOOD PORN ALERT!!!!! I had ummmm lets see. One guy brought in for the mothers craisin mini muffins. (I had 3) AND homemade choc/marshmallow brownes (I had two) one guy brought in a cheesecake AND german chocoalte cake (because they are my favorites) :o I had two cheesecake slices and a piece of cake :o THEN To top everything off The kids and DH took me to a mexican place and I ate my whole dinner :o OMG It was awful!


Today I must say I made up for yesterdays sugar fest I was right on with my calorie intake (YAY!)

Michelle- I'm so glad you came to us so we can help you also. That stuff happens sometimes, unfortunately. I am so glad you are getting the help you need. I know you must feel ashamed and nervous telling people. We love you and care about you. I hopt your financial situation works out and your it's good that your hubbbie is being supportive. This must be a difficult time, but you will get through it. :hug:

Jeni- Did you really eat all that??? Sounds very unusual for you.

MM- Turbo jam looks like fun, but it also looks complicated.

Okay, it is late so just let me say..... TO H*** with the scale. I have been busting my hump and I am just staying the same. I don't understand. I could bang my head against the wall right now. Hey, maybe some blood loss would help me lose an ounce or two.

O M G Jen you and your food porn LOLOL at least it sounds good!!!

Nchellie....honey you had me worried. I thought you were working the breakfast shift at Legs n eggs with no pay.....I love you no matter what and I am PROUD of you for cleaning up and going on with your life!! I will always be here for you if you need me!!!

Where the he-l-l did Rowdy Bliss go? Or was I just seein things? It's possible. Since they fixed my eyes with lasik i've been seeing all kinds of fun things. Like stars, things that don't require corrective lenses....etc LOL

Jaya I'm tryin :) I am not as miserable anymore since I started my own business. At least I have something to look forward to at the end of the day...Yup i still work at my crappy job, but I have other things to look foward to. I even made a pretty good sale today :) For about 10 minutes of time, yeah i'd say a pretty darn good sale!

Maybe i'll hop on my wii fit tonight. I need to hit the store for salad stuff. that sorta bombed out on me this morning. I did get a salad at lunch though.....breakfast was pretty filling, i stayed on track for the most part. water didn't happen but there's still time in the day for me to get some in. I'm hoping to crash out early tonight, I've gotta be out of the house early in the am so i can get home, run the vacuum, and have rehearsal tomorrow.

If I missed you in personals, that's my bad. I'll try to catch that up soon. My brain's running on about 3.75 hrs of sleep......i am pooped!!! talk to you soon ladies!

Hi my little poopsies!

Super fast post.

most important ~ Nchellie ~ proud of you. I know how easy it can be to fall into it. I am so proud of you for coming out of it, working through it, and knowing that you and your family are worth what ever it takes. My dad has 25 years sober and battles every day. My Step brother refuses to get sober and drains my families hopes. You stay head strong. Love yourself 1st. You are fantastic and deserve to have your family stand behind you!

everyone else, be good. Still hot here. Fishing sucks. Tan lines are well in place. Tan fat is still fat, so I have been trying to pack good lunches. So far so good. Forgot my scale at home, but have not forgotten my mission.

Check back in a few days!

me

NMichelle, no judgement here either. We love you. Welcome back.

Kris, tan fat looks better than white fat. I tell my DH that every year while we are on vacation and I am sunning meself!! :D

HT, you can't do it for DH, but maybe his Mom meant that as a compliment, like you are a good cook. Try not to take it to heart. Either way, we can all only ultimately do it ourselves! Congrats on the sale today! That's cool, huh?

Mindy, Turbo Jam is not too bad and if I can't get a move, I just make sure I keep moving some other way. I am not the brightest crayon in the box everyday, but if I move I get exercise!!

Jaya, love the cartoon. I may try that for today's exercise....

Grazer, I have one the the Firm too, forgot about that. I do like that, need to watch for a step at garage sales this summer.

Jeni, We all have those porn days. Does sound yummy though :o

W 100
E Running after work, crunching this am
E POP
D Sticking with it, last night was a bit off key.

Errr wrote a very long post and then my browser backed up and lost my post :(


Anyway,

Mindy, yes I did eat all that. Not my normal food behavior and It wont be happening again for a very long time. I am back to committed to my calories in/calories out program.


HolyT I am so glad that you are liking having your own business.

MM~I have the old "...of Steel" series of tapes. I should find a vcr and work out to those in the morning before work.

As for me, I am back to being committed to cals in vs cals out like I said. Today I am heading to the gym at 9am. Then I am going to plan a nice healthy menu for the next week. I am going to keep my hands busy by cleaning up my house all morning. Then I am heading to my moms to visit my sister (I had to cancel last night, not feeling well then Monsters as children).

W 80 oz
E 30 minutes at least.
E 1400 cals
D keep my eating clean.

Good Morning Family :grouphug:

I changed my avitar to bettyboop because I have always been a fan of bettyboop and when I ran across this one with boxing gloves I thought omg this is perfect. :)

Grazer - Did ya do your wii last night? You know what cracks me up is when you step on the platform it says "oh" and then does that green circle
in the middle of screen as if it is searching for you. I did my wii work out last night and unlocked a few games...and oh the hula hoop one is calorie burner and I did a little yoga too...ya like 2 things and they said I need to work on my balance..hahahahah... :)

jcatron243 - Hi there, I think that it is fun to put up a funny cartoon for a daily laugh. :)

mtiger- Here is a positive thought for you. We can lose inches before we lose pounds. Sometimes it will not always show up. I know it can be
frustrating but don't give up...you are doing GREAT!!!! :coach:

Holyteror- That is great ~ Keep up that positive attitude ....... :)

Nixmom - Little poopsies made me laugh....cute.... Enjoy the warm weather....no need for your scale...you are on a mission and staying strong...

mothermavis - I love the cartoons too... :)

I did it!
 

:woohoo: Okay so I FINALLY made it back to the gym, like I promised myself. I think it has been a month since I have done a gym workout. I forgot just how good it feels. I am in the middle of my endorphine rush right now!!!!

:flame: Thanks nixie. I think you must have lit a flame under me when you sent me that PM. Now I am back full force thanks to you. :hug:


I ran 30 minutes. It was a much slower pace than i am used to but It felt good. I will bring up the pace again. I also spent 30 minutes on the elliptical :) I actually worked it hard there too! I forgot just how much I love working out.

Bad thing: my blood surgar dropped into the zone that makes me shakey. I think it is still in recovery from sunday. I also didn't have my yogurt first. BAD BAD BAD ME!! I ate and feeling much better so no worries.

Now it is time to keep my hands busy I have mucho work to do. My house is in hurricane recovery mode (or Tuesday mode). DH doesn't do a whole lot when I am working on the weekends, so my house looks like a hurricane hit the inside!

jcatron243- Yay....that is awesome !!!! you go girl ~


Where is everyone this evening...?:mag:

Jaya the board was down for a while today, maybe they tried and couldn't get on.

Morning all! A quick run through this am. Struggling lately with focus. My horoscope says to pay attention to the little things, like water and walking. I think that's advice I should take.

Hope everyone is doing well. I read quick, but no time to comment!

3 minutes to crunch and post and get to the shower.

W 100 get all of it
E Crunch, walk at lunch and whatever else comes into play. Stairs?
E POP
D Baby steps, and no scale til Monday.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA



Okay so I called in sick today. My poor attitude coupled with Tommy having a cold kept me home. Then guess what happens??????

My DH's PARKED truck got smashed. From what DH's says he thinks it will be totalled. The drive line is bent up, a whole mess of other things. Thank god my kids and DH weren't in the car. The truck is a Dodge Ram 1500, the other car was a Mini van. She was driving so fast that the truck was moved at least 20 feet. AND she ended up turned so that it looked like she t-boned it.

WHAT a crummy 2 months.

Hey Everyone,

I hope everyone is doing good. Today I am sore I was in a car accident last night. I totaled my parents truck. My dad was glad I was not seriously hurt...my mom is mad and not really talking to me today. sigh....but I am sore..I most likely will take it easy the rest of this week. And start back slowly exercising again.

Here is Today's Cartoon...It made me laugh today..and I so needed that...

Jaya- I'm wii-ing with you. I just unlocked a boxing game and more step aerobics. I suck at the balance games too. I the yoga and strength games. Sorry to hear about the accident. Hope you're not sore for too long!

Jcat- Loved your "food pron" and wish I was there. It all sounded yummy. You are having a whopper of a time lately. It's got to turnn around for you!

Couldn't log on to internet last night so check in. I've been doing okay. Had a big walk last night and plan to wii tonight. TOM has arrived so I'll be battling the carb demon and expecting a gain this week.

Shout out to everyone!

I've been busy AND in a funk. I should be losing weight this week and I'm not. Nothing!!! You know what that does to me. I think I need to eat more food. I've only been getting around 1200 calories and working my butt off. I am going to try getting at least 1400 a day and see what happens.

Jeni- Your bad luck must be at it's end.

Nix- Sounds like you're having fun. That tan must look good.

OK, so I do great all day, but nights are not so good.

I need to find something else to do when I watch TV other than practicing the hand to mouth trick. I thought once about learning to knit, this may be the time for that.

W 100
E Running tonight
E OP
D No noshing after dinner!!!!

MTig- I was reading somewhere that you should up your cals when working out a lot. Maybe shaking things up will help!

MM- I learned to sew during the winter. I have the same prob with TV because I get bored with it.

Forgot to post my WEED for today:

W- 3-5 glasses
E- mindful
E- undecided; TOM is killer
D- it's only TOM weight; don't get carb crazy

Cartoon For The Day ~
:rofl:

Grazer- I upped calories to 1500 yesterday. I went down a little today. I am going to try it again today and see if it keeps working.

I walk/jogged over 2 miles with my buddy today. She actually ran a half mile stretch once. We will be ready for that 5k in no time.

Tomorrow is weigh-in. YIKES!!!!:p

Alright, is anyone else having trouble getting on these boards? I am on the first page finally after trying all day long.

So my truck is totalled. :( I am totally impressed with my ins. co because they have worked so fast. We have a rental till monday morning and hopefully we will be able to get a new car sometime next week. I am bummed because I know we wont get a truck nearly as good as the one we lost.

Food/water ok not the best. have to run.

Hey ladies,
I'm functioning today. Really really tired, allergies DON'T help. Food's been ok today for the most part. Got my feelings hurt at work though....some of my coworkers who i consider my friends decided to have a birthday luncheon for another friend....Nobody invited me to come. One of them was speaking loudly about it, and when I asked about it....outloud mind you, not to her face but in general...i got no answer.

My boss told me that if i was feeling bad I should go home. I feel bad again since I got home. I might just stay home tomorrow....

I have some shopping to do tonight, so i'm gonna try the Grocery Outlet....they have an event tent that's on sale that i'll need for saturday's show/vending.

Yes ladies if you ever need anything from me cosmetics or skincare please let me know. I won't advertise here cuz i'm sure there are rules about it....even the extra work i'm putting into running it makes me happy :) That's a big step for me, being happy about something LOLOL

oK I gotta relax for a bit. Head's gettin kinda dizzy at the moemnt. Plus I need a grocery list :) Talk to you all soon...

Hey! We're all here at the same time!!! Didn't this site used to have a chat room? Wouldn't that be fun?

Eating and Water are out the window for me. But I'm not as focused on that right now, obviously. But I'm just trying not to GAIN too much.

Sounds like we are all burnt out, frustrated, struggling, whatever. At least we're all here together.

Love the little cartoons, they make my day. Be back in more detail later or tomorrow, you know how the evening hours "take away from family time"; i.e. baths/homework/etc.

xoxoxo Michelle

you bet...we'z stickin tagetha like glue n papah!!

jaya, i love the cartoons :) hope you're feeling better soon

jcat, sorry about your run of bad luck, but im glad you got into the gym and glad the insurance co seems to be on top of their game--one less thing to worry about

nix, hope you're enjoying your vacation/tan...lucky you!

michelle, i'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling, but it takes courage to own up to your actions as you did. glad you're back on the site :)

i'm missing some of you...i'm sorry i'm falling asleep :)

more tomorrow.

as far as weed goes...a few indulgences here and there with food but nothing huge...getting water in right now...haven't been able to swim or run since tues due to minor surgery...boo...feel like the wind is out of my sails a bit...but i can go back to the gym starting next week sometime (depending on healing time). i just feel so weird not going...i'm so in the habit. :)

it's funny, when i'm in a funk i don't come online as much, but just articulating how i feel, even just a bit...it really helps and helps me put things into perspective. :)

thanks ladies :)

e.

JCat- I've been having probs getting on this site for about a week. Glad to hear insurance people are working fast for you!

MTig- glad you're seeing those #s go down. You work so hard!

Holy- I get left out of lunch dates a lot of the time. That's part of work life.

e32- didn't realize you were having minor surgery. Hope you get back on your feet soon!

Whopper of a gain this week #4. TOM is killer. A little surprised considering I've been eating better than most months and exercising. I wonder if the ice-cream sandwhiches followed by a skor blizzard I had last night have anything to do with the gain!! (Ha,ha)

Happy Friday!

Morning Grazer! I am with ya, just looked at the scale, which I was not going to do until Monday, and it was ugly.

E32, ditto, I hope the recovery is fine, hope all is well!

NM, Color me frustrated, I would love to chat with y'all. Wish again that we all lived where we could exercise together...

HT, don't let the jerks get ya down.

Jeni, glad although the truck was totalled, the insurance went well. Happy shopping.

W moving this down, I've not been making it anyway. Let's go for 75
E Rest day
E Mindful, bake sale at work today, need to stay within reason
D A good day or not, my choice.

:wave: Hello everyone!! barely got on the site again today. I hope this posts.

So I got in my run again today :carrot: I am getting back to my reg speed. I did 5.5 mph on the tread today for 30 minutes. I did 2.65 miles. I also did the elliptical for 30 minutes, did 2.5 miles on that.

W 80 oz
E 60 min cardio done
E 1400 cals
D house work. eww.

I'm not going to do personals today since I don't know if this will even post. Love everyone hope you are all doing great.

We are such busy shoppers
 

Good Morning Gals,

Today's Cartoon

I am doing better today. I am still sore but I am going to do some small yoga stretches on the Wii this evening. :) I don't want to get off track. I did eat kind of icky last night because I really wanted comfort food. I figure well I deserve it....but I put myself back on track of eating good.

I was laughing yesterday because when I looked at my stomach it had a big bruise on it from hitting the steering wheel in the accident. of course nothing else got hit, just whip lash.....sigh..so even more of reason for me to lose weight. I think that my tummy were smaller it would have not touched the steering wheel. LOL

I am in good spirits...what happened has happened. No need to dwell...so I am moving forward...hehehehe...I hope everyone is having a great day...~

HUGZ

Cheers~

IM back anyone remember me. I just went off bc. and im ready to start fighting , i just keep gaining before no matter how hard i tried. but now im starting over with nothing holding me back, im going to eat clean, and do chalean x!wooo lets do this!!!!!!!!!!

Jeni- Hope you make out okay with the new truck.

Grazer and MM- You are my girls. You have some of the same struggles I do and I relate to both of you. Hang in there, keep working it.

I didn't lose anything this month after TOM, like I normally do. Now I am appraoching mid-cycle gain and dreading it. What in the world will happen this month??? I am certainly at a plateau for some reason. I am trying to keep the calories up, as well as the workouts. Gosh, I hope it helps. I am tired of seeing 191 something on my scale.