Doing good here too....Kristen good luck on that election!!
Went out to eat twice yesterday..once to pizza hut where I again cut my "normal" consumption of 6 breadsticks and 2 pcs of Pizza to 3 breadsticks and 1 piece of pizza...then our neighbor (single and 22) didn't want to go out to eat alone so we went with her to chinese but again I only let myself have Half of what i would normally eat (1 plate filled instead of 2 filled overflowing) and tried to stay away from the really really high cal stuff. (fried cream cheese and Sesame chicken WAYY high cal).
Almost binged last night because I was watching tv with hubby and got bored. IT wasn't the binge monster just his ole pal Munchie Monster (who by the way is fuzzy and blue with a purple wart on his red nose, green eyes and his name is BitAThis *ya know a bit of this a bit of that*) I had a handfull of Junior mints, a handful of Tropical trail mix, 1 hostes cupcake (instead of the TWO that i brought with me to eat), and about 2 cups of coffee. All that during a 3 hour marathon of stuff we taped on DVR....normally that would have been a BOX (large movie theater size) of junior mints and that bag of tropical mix woulda been in my lap the whole time instead of just the handful.
By the way does anyone watch the show Reba (on WB)? Last night was about dieting and it really hit home for me and even had me and hubby a lil teary eyed...I LOVE that show!!
Ok enough...gotta get this cup of coffee in me and eat breakfast (don't ask and i won't tell hehe)
I had 6 mini chocolate donuts today not great but it wasn't as bad as the past few binges
You mean those things "donettes" from hostess? Six isn't a binge, thats actually a serving! I know this for a fact, because I have a six-pack packet of chocolate coverered donettes in my cupboard (packaged vending machine style) and it says "serving size: six donnettes". I wouldn't call one serving of anything a binge (unless you had one serving of a bunch of other stuff at the same time), it doesn't really matter if its a dessert or not.
DairyQueen, we each define "binging" differently. For me, it's eating huge quantities of unhealthy food. Like a bowl of icing or a party bag of Doritos.
For someone else, it might be simply consuming a small chocolate bar. A binge is whatever we think it is.
You mean those things "donettes" from hostess? Six isn't a binge, thats actually a serving! I know this for a fact, because I have a six-pack packet of chocolate coverered donettes in my cupboard (packaged vending machine style) and it says "serving size: six donnettes". I wouldn't call one serving of anything a binge (unless you had one serving of a bunch of other stuff at the same time), it doesn't really matter if its a dessert or not.
Yea, I was not really thinking it was a binge because I usually trhink a binge is more food than that, but I just didn't want it eat the donettes because they are not really healthy, but I don't think one little splurge in the day killed me especially since the chinese i had for dinner was really bad and i ended up not really eating much
Hi everyone,
I know I hven't been on for a while. I've been in denial about my binging and haven't wanted to confess but I've been readin all the posts and I have a few things to say.
Harpo- I hope you're ok. Try to think positively and maybe your binging will change if your thoughts change.
Kristin- hey fellow teenager. It's the summer vacation in Ireland. We are off school for three whole months. I'm gonna have to find a way to distract myself from food during the long hot days. Good luck with the exercise. I'm trying to go walking to the beach, the weather's really nice at the moment.
Lea-Lea- I hope you can find inner peace somewhere with your eating disorder.
Ellis- I have read your posts and objectively speaking you seem to be harsh on Dairy Queen. I saw Dairyqueen's post to Kristin as very supportive, not condescending as you seemed to imply.And speaking as someone who was not long ago a liitle girl I think her point in the previous thread about children picking up on parents attitudes is very important. I was disturbed myself by some of the posts and am glad she brought it up.
Dairyqueen- Please do not stop posting. I find your posts insightful, encouraging and important.
Sorry for bringing this all up but I can't help but feel for children who are subjected to issues with food having been there myself.
On Reba Barbara Jean was told by Brock that she needed to "loose a few pounds" and she felt ugly and unwanted so Cheyanne and her "help all addicts" attitude volunteered Reba and herself as 24\7 weight loss partners....it was hillarious when the younger boy came in with a candy bar and all three of the ladies wanted to help him "dispose" of the junk food and he ran out of the house and said "I HATE WHEN YOU DIET!" Then Cheyanne was in the kitchen (late at night) for a sneaky snack of cupcake and Reba was hiding behind the counter with it....it was just funny to watch her hiding and stuffing it in her mouth before Cheyanne could find it..but she smelled it and Reba was caught and then uncovered the ice cream on the table...they were enjoying ice cream when Barbara Jean walked in and caught them........any way she is upset because she doesn't feel that Brock loves her now that she is "a tubalard" as she puts it and tells the other girls that although she isn't cheating she has GAINED 4 pounds and is upset with Reba and Cheyanne because they have lost and they have cheated. Anyway Reba and Barbara Jean have a nice talk about why she thinks Brock feels that way...turns out that Barbara Jean doesn't love herself anymore because of her weight, therefore feels unloveable...Reba gets all tender and the show goes off......
Alltogether a great show...added humore into the weight loss thing. showed both sides of it too...the skinny girls wanting to loose a few and the bigger girl needing to lose a few. Showed that no matter what it is important to love YOURSELF. Overweight to me is a personal opinion. I am not TECHNICALLY overweight but I AM overweight in my own opinion because at 125 I felt beatiful, healthy, and had energy to burn...at 162 I was having chest pains, at 145 I feel lazy and unhealthy, now at 137 I feel OK but not great, when i got to 132 in March I felt I was accomplishing my goal and that mattered...Now I am creeping toward 140 again and feel like a failure again.
Wow that was deeper than i meant it to be....but thats what i got out of last nights show........I have to love myself and work at weight loss for myself. and get to MY Ideal weight.....Not what everyone else sees as MY ideal weight but what I see as my ideal weight........only then can I truly love myself therefore only then can i FEEL loved.
Ellis is our moderator and was only doing what is required of her. This thread is for bingers, not for parenting opinions. I brought my comment here because in this thread I have found friends that understand because most of us have had this disorder as children and know how important it is to teach our children different than we were taught. That was my mistake.
Here is the only way I feel I can make anyone understand...My life, line for line.
Here is MY life OK so everyone understands.
~I was taught to eat what i want, as long as i was eating.
~I learned to eat nothing but junkfood.
~I start gaining weight
~I get teased by everyone
~I learn bulimia makes me pretty
~Cycle of binging purging spins out of control
~Meet my husband to be (17 years old)
~He love ME for ME
~Purging stops, occasional binges continue
~I still eat nothing but junk (everything fried, snack cakes by the box)
~I have kids.
~I still eat junk.
~My kids start getting their own minds.
~Now they want junk only. NOT healthy food. Because its what their PARENT is teaching them
~I see MY pattern continueing to them.
~Junk is all that appeals to me its how I have eaten my whole life.
~I wonder how I am going to change their view.
~I realize it starts with me
~My parenting instincts kick in and I see that I am literally PASSING my disorder to THEM.
~I STOP THIS CYCLE NOW.
~I work 24 hours a day EVERY day to break a 21 year habit of junk junk junk.
~Bulimia resurfaces in January but is short lived when my son catches me binging and then hears me throwing up.
~I promise myself NEVER again will I purge
~They will learn healthy eating, I will teach them the cold hard truth that HEYYYY you know those yummy brownies and things you want ALL THE TIME...well if you eat them all the time you will not be healthy.
~5 months purge free, My kids eat healthier, my kids teach other kids about calories, my kids drink water before all other drinks. My life is healthier, happier, saner, and food no longer scares me as bad.
Again this is MY opinion of MY disorder and how I am dealing with MY kids.
America is the fattest country in the world, we are told that daily. we have the means to change that and for me it begins with my children and myself (since I am no superwoman that can change the world). They DO NOT have eating disorders but they DO know that nutrition labels aren't there to be pretty. Growing up I never even NOTICED nutrition labels, never ONCE. I will teach my children better than this.
I will never be at peace with my eating disorder...My bulimia is a war that I fight daily...there is no PEACE in war..only a conquered enemy and My enemy WILL BE CONQUERED now and in the years to come as i raise healthy children.
I am not angry, upset, insulted. or any other way affected by anyones comments in this matter..I only want to reassure everyone that My children are happy well adjusted children of a parent with an eating disorder...as a family with a member with an ED we all battle MY disorder..thats what familys do, we are in it together, we learn together, we love together...we are healthier together because I chose to fight this war. and together, the four of us will stomp bulimia's butt.
LeaLee- In my opinion I think what you are doing is great. As a teenager, I know my mom has been trying to stop up from following her cycle of unhealthy eating by setting a positve example and forcing us all to pay attention to nutrition. I know that what she has done is really helping me because I am always aware of whats going into my mouth and thats a good thing in my opinion. Her constant awareness of food and health has made me wnat to change my unhealthy lifestyle for good. I think you should keep doing wht you are doing because it will probably make your kids healthier, I know my mom does the same and I am healthier because of it.
Thanks for the good luck Ellis! I will need all the luck in teh world. I doubt that I will win this mock trial but luckily your grade is not based on whether you win or lose, its about how well you defend the person so hope I can do that!
I guess Ill have to lie a little to win ( you know embellish not lie lol)
Cadburys school doesn't end here in the USA fo me until June 22! So I am counting down the days. I am Irish-American to let you know
I am so stresed with school and a week of Finals coming up I have so much work to do, and some people in my group are not working hard for our project I am going to flip out on them! lol
Ok I am off to work on some homework than workout, I am doing pretty good with food-good luck to everyone!
Ellis- I have read your posts and objectively speaking you seem to be harsh on Dairy Queen. I saw Dairyqueen's post to Kristin as very supportive, not condescending as you seemed to imply.And speaking as someone who was not long ago a liitle girl I think her point in the previous thread about children picking up on parents attitudes is very important. I was disturbed myself by some of the posts and am glad she brought it up.
Maria, I'll tell you right now that when I receive a couple of complaints about a member's posts, I'm not about to sit back and let things get out of hand. Real life can be extremely harsh. This is a safe environment where people can post their hearts out for support, and I won't let this forum be turned into a place where people feel comfortable being self-righteous and abusive in their comments.
Of course DairyQueen is welcome here. That goes without saying. This isn't about DairyQueen, or anyone in particular. It's about all of us respecting one another in our struggles.
Let's all move on, please.
~~~~~~~~
Kristen? Has anyone ever told you you're a sweetheart?
LeaLee, one of the (many) things I find bizarre is that we grew up eating SO much unhealthy food. Eggs and bacon every morning (white bread, of course. None of that high-fibre stuff for us). Home made fried chicken, deep-fried cornfritters and chips (french fries). Fish and chips. Liver and onions. Steak and kidney pie with a thick pastry made with lard. I'm surprised my sister and I didn't have a coronary in grade school!
And yet we were never fat. And our parents weren't fat, though they'd been raised on the same stuff. My mother is 81, and it looks like she'll last another 20 years. Dad was 79, and was in perfect shape apart from his cancer.
So what's it all about? Good genes for us? The fact that we were very active?
As for our own kids, I'm afraid we're a little lax at times. We have to force our son to eat fruits and veggies (aside from broccoli, which he'd be happy to eat at every meal), while our daughter has never liked desserts and would rather eat a big healthy salad.
It's difficult to know exactly who or what they're being influenced by, but we do teach our kids the nutritional value of various foods. That's very important.
Yeap, me too, fried chicken, fried eggs, fried potatoes, snack cakes (ohh the snack cakes i have eaten through life), me and my lil brother used to cook cookies and eat them right out of the oven. But now that I am getting older I can't eat the way I was accustomed to and its just gonna get worse
A funny thing happened last night at walmart. There were some store decorated cupcakes there and a lady was getting a dozen of each flavor...Ally looks at her buggy and says "you know them have lots of "cowries" in them and if you eat them all it will make you chubby...My momma SAYS SO" I was HORRIFIED But then the lady looked at Ally, Looked at me, Looked at the buggy and put them back and said "thank you so much for reminding me of that." and gave her five and walked on. She saw me again in the store and told me that she had been struggling with her weight and had come to Walmart to stock up on binge foods and that Ally reminded her and inspired her to put all the junk back and pick up water and veggies and fruit instead. she said "to see someone so young already have more willpower and knowledge than I do in my age gives me hope for myself" then she hugged me and proceeded to the checkout.
to know that ally saved that woman from a binge means alot to me...it shows me that I am doing right by my kids.
Ellis- Thanks for telling me that I am a sweetheart its so kind of you!
I need to workout today, I an feeling depressed.
I was going to try out for JV Cheerleading and I decided not to because I felt like the same girls who in elementary school made fun of me for being fat did not have the right to judge me even if it was for a sport-I did not want to have them all juding my moves and now my best fried made it and I feel good for her but still sad because I was hoping she wouldn't make it and she would do more with me. Is that wrong?
Big hugs, Kristen. It's okay. You're only human like the rest of us. As my psychiatrist once told me, "If you were a god, you wouldn't experience jealousy and anger, but what a surprise... you're not a god."
Those feelings are real for you. I think you're incredibly mature to admit to them. You're a sage in the body of a teenager.
Maybe this just isn't the right time for you to try out for cheerleading. You're doing so well with your exercise... you're only going to gain more and more confidence in yourself, Kristen, and that will help you through the rough times.
Go and have a good workout and burn off some of your frustrations. Throw all that crap behind you and look forward.
i usually post on the 'army camp' thread but I was afraid that what I would write there would trigger binges so perhaps this is a more appropriate place to place this post?
I dont know why but I am spinning out of control again. I just feel like eating alot again and I haven't been able to feel satisfied and full like what I felt the last week. And I just can't figure out why is that so. There isn't that much changes in my life and everything seems quite routine.
Is it because I am gettin obsessed with food and losing weight again? I always seem to find something to obsess and stress over. sigh..Don't know if I am making sense. I don't even seem to be making sens to myself.
This is what I ate on top of my 3 meals:
1 english muffin with 1/2 ham and 1 LF cheese
1 scone
200ml LF frozen yoghurt
100g potato crisps
300ml LF chocolate milk
1 small snack meat pie
gosh...that is **** alot of overeating. I am feeling a bit whoozy and sleep y here. I still dont get it why I am eating so much again. The thing is, I didn't like eat very quickly and shove the food into my mouth ( the usual way that i binge), but rather I ate very slowly but continously from 7-930pm.
arrggg confusion.....
I have to pick myself up, dust myself again and continue striving forward!
Ellis! Thank you so much for your support.
Your words have been so uplifting, I woke upo still a little bitter this morning and your words have really lifted my spirits. I could feel my heart rise in my chest after your advice I feel so relieved!
Last night I lifted weights a little but not much excersise other wise. I have to do more homework!!! uggh
I have not been out of the house all weekend. I will by the end of today.
Off to do more homework! uggh
Bye and lots of hugs to everyone---especially ellis.
not great but it wasn't as bad as the past few binges
A binge is whatever we think it is.
I will need all the luck in teh world. I doubt that I will win this mock trial but luckily your grade is not based on whether you win or lose, its about how well you defend the person so hope I can do that! 
a little to win ( you know embellish not lie lol) 
I'm surprised my sister and I didn't have a coronary in grade school! 
Good genes for us? The fact that we were very active?
We have to force our son to eat fruits and veggies (aside from broccoli, which he'd be happy to eat at every meal), while our daughter has never liked desserts and would rather eat a big healthy salad. 
But then the lady looked at Ally, Looked at me, Looked at the buggy and put them back and said "thank you so much for reminding me of that." and gave her five and walked on. She saw me again in the store and told me that she had been struggling with her weight and had come to Walmart to stock up on binge foods and that Ally reminded her and inspired her to put all the junk back and pick up water and veggies and fruit instead. she said "to see someone so young already have more willpower and knowledge than I do in my age gives me hope for myself" then she hugged me and proceeded to the checkout.
It's okay. You're only human like the rest of us. As my psychiatrist once told me, "If you were a god, you wouldn't experience jealousy and anger, but what a surprise... you're not a god." 
