Yesterday a girl around 15 or 16 decided to call me a fat a** for no apparent reason -- I don't even know her very well. I KNOW that I should not worry about it, but it just really got to me. I am working really hard, not that she knows that, and it just really hurt me. Part of me wanted to tell that I would like to see her in another 20 years after she has dealt with real responsibilities in life, a couple of pregnancies, etc. and see how thin she is... but, I am the adult here and have to take the high road and just shake it off and pretty much ignore it. I know that part of my feelings about it have to do with PMS too, but even this morning I can't get that comment off my mind. I guess part of it too is because I know it is true and I hate that.
I HAVE been working hard, but now PMS has set in and the scale has crept up .5 lbs. each of the last two days. This is just depressing.
When I think back, it seems that even when I have done well on 'diets' in the past, PMS was my downfall. I start feeling bloated, tired, hungry, and emotional and I head for the bad stuff. I am really praying hard here that I don't binge because I certainly feel one coming on
I guess I am just needing some hugs to help me get over the hump Thanks for letting me vent.
Last edited by WaterWater; 05-12-2006 at 07:47 AM.
Let me be the first to give you the you need. Please don't believe everything you hear from others or take what they say to heart. This is but a moment in time. If you are actively dieting and eating healthy, (which from your ticker looks to be the case) you'll continue to lose weight after your PMS episode. Please look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you are worth whatever hard work you are doing (exercising and dieting) and that you are unique.
Stay on track, drink lots of water, take a small walk and I'll bet that pretty soon you'll start feeling better (nothing gets rid of bloat like water!)
here's another and I'm taking it that you are a mom, so here's wishing you a happy mother's day, too.
I admire you for being able to take the high road. When it happened to me by a 17 yo that I worked with, I turned around looked her up and down and stared her sqare in the eye and said "take a long look at this fat @ss honey cause this'll be you in 15 years cause my body looked exactly like yours when I graduated high school, so this is what you have to look forward too." She busted out into tears and walked away , because her mom and all her aunts were overweight and she knew I was telling her the "truth". One of her friends that also worked there came over to me and told me that after she walked off. You are right, you shouldn't let it bother you. That girl didn't know you or your life struggles she was just being a snot. You are working hard at it and you just keep at it and soon you'll be gorgeous and she'll still be a snot. Hang in there honey!
First of all.... Boy do I know how that feels! Grrrrrrr....
After I finally calm down from an episode like that (and have quit formulating fantasies about what I should have said or done in response!) it often occurs to me that, especially as aware of size and weight as teenage girls can be, they may strike out at us chiefly out of fear. That's no excuse and it doesn't make it hurt any less, but sometimes the thought that it wasn't just random cruelty and that it isn't really about me I can let it go a bit easier. Odds are that we represent their future and that scares the jeepers out of them, so they lash out at the thing they fear.
Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry. What a horrible person. I think people like that must have some sort of inferiority complex of their own. Either that or they're just plain evil. Unfortunately there are always going to be people that judge us. One of the reasons it hurts so much is that you're a good, kind person, and you expect more of others. Don't ever change.
Something I've learned from my psychiatrist is to put the thought to one side (almost physically), and give yourself permission to think about that thought later if you want to. It's hard to let go of stuff like that, but if we objectify the thought or feeling, we can actually put it aside. It takes practice, but it does work.
Put it to one side, and when you eventually come back to it (if you want to. It can sit indefinitely "on the shelf"), it usually doesn't look so significant.
PMS? I'm right there with you, sweetie. Be mindful of your body today. Remember that YOU are in control, and that you can choose to nurture yourself with good food and with good thoughts. You're a strong woman.
Big hugs, Water... we're all with you.
Wow, what a little snot.. That would really bother me too! You did the right thing by walking away though, I am not sure I could have that kind of will power. I don't take S**t from anyone, sometimes that is a good thing sometimes a bad thing. If I could learn to keep my mouth shut more often I might have less stress..lol
What a little biotch! That obnoxious girl is obviously going through her own teenage insecurity thing. At the risk of sounding like a cheesy Dr. Phil wannabe, I want you to know that she probably just feels shitty about herself. Not that that excuses how she acted.
When I was younger I was one of those girls who was constantly critical of other women, thank god I finally had some sense beaten into to me.
Wow sorry to hear. I know its difficult. BTDT. I agree with everyone else. She's young and where that shouldn't be an excuse, she'll eventually learn one day. I was always battling my weight so I wouldn't even ever think of making fun of someone when I was young.
Also its usually people that feel really bad about themselves who lash out at others, we have a co-worker who does that and we all know it's all about taking the attention off of him.
Water, like everyone else has said please try not to take this teenage girls comments to heart. Ive been quite lucky I guess, I havn't had to endure any hurtful comments but if I ever did, it would be the last time they ever spoke to me that way! what goes around comes around too so im sure one day someone will criticise her looks also and then she'll hopefully realise that she has not right to talk to anyone that way.
As for the PMS I have the same problem too,if its not nailed down then im eating it lol. I just try to eat extra fruit & veggies and drink extra water. I have a period twice a month so I go through the PMS thing twice a month too which sucks. I would weigh yourself a few days after your period has finished and that will give you your true weight and not your period weight.
Yah sometimes things like that can cut, but we do need to "force" our minds away from it and let things roll right on off. As you said, the hard part is when it is TRUE, and we are already all self conscious about our fat butts anyway. But just let it motivate you to grab onto the wagon and hold tight... LOL there are a whole bunch of us fat "butts" right on here with you but we are getting rid of them as fast as we can!!
I am sorry she upset you. I've learned to call myself fat first. Then if someone else does it it doesn't sting. I mean I am not thin, or skinny, or even of average healthy weight. I AM fat. I am also beautiful and kind and all that nice stuff.
Nasty people like this makes me want to go up to them and ask .... now, did saying that make you feel better? I can never understand people like this. She's just a nasty little beotch --- that probably doesn't have any true friends. Only stuck up wannabees like her.
Hang in there.....keep the faith.....and keep moving on.....>
I had an abnoxious spoiled teenage girl say something at church about my being fat. I turned around and looked at her and said "well sweety, I may be fat but I can lose the weight but you are ugly, not on the outside but on the inside. and one of these days when you get older that ugliness on the inside is going to come out and you'll be just as ugly on the outside unless you change your attitude." and walked away.
Her mother came up to me later and asked what happened because her daughter was crying and wouldn't tell her why. I explained what was said and her mother agreed with me.
Teenagers are at the annoying age where they don't think before they say things. And girls are the worse.
Don't let it keep you down, I know it's impossible to say don't let it bother you because-hey it does bother you and it probably will for a few days. I have to keep repeating, "Like water off a ducks back, this isn't going to stick to me. It will slide away like water off a ducks back" Ok, so I have to repeat it over and over again to convince myself to let it go.
You are doing all the right things. Keep up the good work.
I'm sorry to hear someone was so rude to you. I would be ashamed if one of my own children ever said something like that. I think I've taught them better, because they've watched me struggle with my weight for years. It would have been nearly impossible for me not to say something very mean back to her, (my mouth has gotten me in a lot of trouble over the years). You showed that you were the better person. Good job.
Just need to vent :(
Thanks for letting me vent.
you need. Please don't believe everything you hear from others or take what they say to heart. This is but a moment in time. If you are actively dieting and eating healthy, (which from your ticker looks to be the case) you'll continue to lose weight after your PMS episode. Please look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you are worth whatever hard work you are doing (exercising and dieting) and that you are unique. 
Unfortunately there are always going to be people that judge us. One of the reasons it hurts so much is that you're a good, kind person, and you expect more of others. Don't ever change. 
But just let it motivate you to grab onto the wagon and hold tight... LOL there are a whole bunch of us fat "butts" right on here with you but we are getting rid of them as fast as we can!! 
