Ok...I guess it's about time to let the cat out of the bag...
Lol, hi by the way,
I've been, for what seems to be the past year and a half, in a constant battle with a disorder. What exactly? I'm not sure anymore. I don't have a phobia for food but neither do I hoard it down my system. Instead, I take whatever I crave, chew it, taste the flavor then spit it out. Gross, I know and you probably might have heard of such a thing.
It used to be only a bit of chocolate here or a cookie there but for a while, it's been getting out of control. Days when I'm home I start to have a huge urge-- no wait, NEED to to go to a store to buy ANYTHING sweet just so I can chew and spit it out. In one day, I could go through a whole coffee cake, a box of oatmeal bars, pancakes with syrup, 6 bars of chocolate-- I scare myself everytime I bother to write it all down.
The thing is, I'm really frustrated now. All this sugar is not satisfying me anymore. The more I allow myself to do it, the more I crave it. I get moody when the food that I actually DO consume is not the best quality or whatever. It's like, if it has to go and stay in me, it better be worth the taste and calories and not make me feel guilty... It's a waste of my money, I probably spend up to 15 bucks a day for foods I don't exactly plan to enjoy nor indulge and usually gets finished within 15 mins.
Now I know the social impact it creates around me and how I just can't wait to be alone to do it in my own privacy, but I'm just wondering how much does it affect my health, physically-wise?
When I chew food, but not swallow it, will my pancreas still secret insulin? Will my blood sugars go high as if my brain really thinks I'm eating? But then again, nothing goes in my stomach to stimulate that. And what's worst is that I'm rapidly putting on weight yet I changed nothing in my eating plan! I'm pretty sure it has something to do with all this I'm doing to myself, but then again I don't know how to prove it.
I chew and spit everyday. Several times a day. I'm a constant binger, yet I consume nothing, albiet the numbers on the scale are slowly climbing while my self-esteem plummets.
Kelendria-
It's wonderful that you are able to admit that you have an eating problem. That's the first step. You've already taken the second step by seeking help--reaching out here on the board. You should feel great about both of those accomplishments.
I don't know the answers to your nutritional/physical questions about what spitting does to your body.
But, I know that the emotional and spiritual effects are huge, and growing. The compulsion to overeat whether you swallow it, spit it out, or throw it up, is a disease. It's an illness of the mind, body, and spirit.
There is a lot of help out there. There are support groups, 12 step programs (overeaters anonymous), and a great deal of literature. You'll find a lot of first hand experience and help right here on the board.
Overeaters Anonymous has given me my life back, but it's not necessarily for everyone.
What you are describing - the chewing and spitting part anyhow - is classified as eating disorder - not otherwise specified. (EDNOS) I classify myself with this term, because I suffer from bulimia, compulsive overeating, binge eating, bulimarexia, and yes, even chewing and spitting. It was worse when I was younger, but I don't do it as often because I just can't keep from swallowing any longer.
I'm not sure of the physical affects of CS syndrome, because there is actually little known about it and it hasn't been studied properly. From what I know about physiology, the act of chewing does begin to stir up digestive enzymes, but I'm unsure of the affects on the pancreas. If you have a blood glucose monitor, it'd make for a very interesting experiment. You can test your blood sugar before a CS episode, and then test it afterward to see if it made it rise.
I can't offer you an explanation on why you are seeing weight gain other than you may not be as on plan as you think you are, or some of the food you are chewing and spitting is actually getting down your throat.
Now, for the question of whether or not this is dangerous, physically dangerous - I'm not a doctor but I would say that it probably isn't harming you physically, but like I said, I'm no doctor, and in fact, now that I think about my experience, you may be putting extra stress on your vocal cords and your esophagus by bringing back up what you do swallow. But this behavior is psychologically and emotionally dangerous. You need help because you do have an eating disorder. I know I'm in a glass house here throwing stones, but if you are up for it, seek out professional counseling, because it's not going to get any better, and in fact, I was a chewer/spitter before I became a bulimic. And bulimia is pure torture. Never ever ever ever start throwing up.
Thank you for sharing your story with us, and I hope I gave you some insight. Please don't hesitate in asking for our support and encouragement. We are all struggling and trying to understand and heal from our eating disorders. Welcome to the boards.
Kelendria, thank you for sharing with us... I know how difficult that can be.
I would be inclined to seek professional help. This has been going on long enough to become "a bad habit", but I think it's a good time to ask for some assessment from someone in the medical profession. Some people go for years and years without seeking help, and the harmful behaviours become so ingrained that they're difficult to change.
Know that we're here for you for any support you might need...
The thing is, I am seeing a nutritionist and she's helping me eat healthy meals and snack to curb my cravings towards empty calories. It helped a lot I guess; I barely count my calories anymore and I think about other things than food now. But I kept gaining weight, but that's probably because I began to eat more than I usually let myself consume to help my metabolism. And that's gotten me depressed. If I eat, I gain weight. If I don't, I still do!
Anyway, it's been a month since I didn't see the nutritionist and things have gotten out of control. I don't even think of what I'm doing when I reach for the box of cookies, I completley ignore the other options I can do to avoid binging. And if I do remember, I tell myself, why should I stop this? I can enjoy all the food I want without having it all end up on my hips!
It's really annoying how society puts so much influence upon us to look a certain way while they're constantly advertising food everywhere you go. And then some people wonder why eating disorders exist...bah, I don't know where I'm going with this!
Anyway, I'm really really glad I got replies for this and that I'm not the only one out there!
FRUSTRATED ( And is this dangerous?)
