For as long as I can remember, I have been on a diet. Growing up I was verbally tormented by family, friends & school teachers about being overweight.

I am a 22 year old female and have recently gone from 165 pounds to 116 pounds (I'm 5'4). I have done this though limiting my food intake to one small meal at night and doing at least one and a half hours of exercising every day. My periods have stopped, I feel faint all the time and I have lost a lot of my hair.

I have tried to start eating again, but I get so scared and anxious that I will put the weight back on.

I don't know what to do. I keep hearing this voice in my head saying, lose 10 more pounds and then everything will be okay. My Mum is going crazy with me, demanding that I weigh myself in front of her to ensure I don't lose anymore weight.

Can anyone help me, or share some of their experiences of how they overcome their fears and were able to eat normally, without feeling guilty and without putting weight back on.

I know what I am doing is wrong, so please don't lecture me, I just need some advise because I feel like I have no control over my life anymore, and that scares me.

Thanks

Kadda Kadda

Kadda Kadda,
I can relate so well to your post, I probably could have written it myself. For years my mother would scream and yell at me about my weight. For the past six years or so, (I'm 18 now) I've had trouble with eating either too much or too little. I am now struggling with not eating enough and am also scared about my health because I, too, have lost my period. What I am doing now is trying to focus on eating a certain number of calories within a certain amount of time. I'll set a number that I must eat by noon, an amount I have to eat by five, and through dinner. That way I don't have to think about the very large sounding number that I have to eat by the end of the day. I have not yet been able to reach the numbers that I set for myself, but everyday I get a little bit closer. I hope I've been of some help. Email me if you want to talk.
[email protected]

Josephine

Hey Girls,
U guys sound like u need some support there!! im bulimic, and i go to this website for ppl with EDs (eating disorders) its really great i think. it deals with anorexia, bulimia, and compulsive overeating, i have used the chatrooms, they arent real full, but the ppl are cool, and most ppl struggle with the issues u guys talk about, so check it out, it was a huge eye opener for mean gave me a push in the right direction to go. http://www.something-fishy.org
or u can email me at [email protected] , i totally relate to the not being able to eat thing. i do the same as u. i make myself eat breakfast and lunch, i have certain things i eat so i dont feel guilty. but it helps to stay normal. anyways, talk to ya laterz Monica

I am 47 and have been eating wrong since my youngest was 1. I had had 3 kids very close together and was 180 pounds. I started taking diet pills one for breakfast 2 for lunch and 1 for dinner. If I ate anything I threw it up. I can remember standing over the kitchen sink chewing up a piece of cake and rinsing it out of my mouth instead of swallowing it. Food became my enemy. Needless to say I ended up in the hospital. I did not lose my period it never quit. After one year of eating and gaining back the weight I had to have a hysterectomy, my throid was removed on the right side. Today I still throw up easily and have constant stomach problems. I have an ulcer, esophagile reflux. If someone had told me I would have life long problems I would like to hope it would of helped me to eat right and not do so much damage to myself. Today I am on weight watchers and have gone from 181 to 144. I am still losing and will stop at 124 it is not easy and I still punish myself by not eating for a day if I eat something wrong. No one seems to know the problems I deal with. Please get help now so you are not me in 20 or 30 years. I was only 24 when I got out of control. 23 years later I am still fighting the battle not only with my weight but with eating right. WW has been a great help because people like us respond well to be weighed each week and have to show a lose. I try to eat my points so I can do it in a healthy way. Although I do still struggle with not eating on occasion. I had birthday cake and one drink for my birthday on Tuesday so yesterday I did not eat coming to this site made me realize that I still am fighting this disorder. I had convinced myself I had beat this thing. I want to wear my wedding gown for my 30th wedding anniversary next year and that is what got me back on a diet. I have avoided dieting because that is when I lose control. Joining WW has truly been a good way for me to monitor my food intake and still lose weight. Never give up eating right it can do live long damage. Keep working on it and get some support. I will be pulling for you.