Hi all,

I'm not sure where to write this, and figured this might be a good place. I'm having a really hard time right now with emotional eating. I was doing pretty well on my weight loss efforts until right before Thanksgiving, and this past week has been horrid. There's been some tension developing between me and my best friend due to work that we do together, the result of which is that I've been feeling really down about things in general, and feeling like my work is impacting our friendship (he's not my "boss" per se, but he is upwards in my chain of people that count on me to get stuff done, and this week it seems like he's just annoyed as heck with me any time I have a question, to the point that he got annoyed because I called to "talk about nothing" when I did call as a friend to chat, not as a work partner). It really hurts, because I count on him to be a good friend, and I totally respect him as a person, and I feel like he doesn't return that feeling anymore. I know my self-esteem and self-image could use a little work, and I thought I was honestly getting better with how I allowed others to impact how I feel about myself, but this really has just thrown me backwards, and I'm feeling not so good anymore. I haven't gone out to the gym in almost two weeks, I know I'm not eating in a way that is going to help me reach my long-term weight goals, and I'm eating in response to the stress and feelings that I'm having about my friend. I just can't seem to push myself to get back on track, and it's creating a vicious circle. I feel bad because I'm not doing what I need to do, so I eat because I feel bad, which makes me feel worse, which I'm eating in response to...

I've been crying off and on for the past two days over this, and I don't want to keep doing this. Any advice, words of encouragement, or..well..I dunno, just anything would be appreciated.

I'm sorry to hear about troubles with your friend!

I know that it's hard, but I'm sure that you'll get through it, as long as you can just take some breaths and start again. Recognizing this behavior, and writing about it here, is a good step.

Though I don't know you or your friend, it's possible that he is having a lot of stressful problems (at work or at home) that are just making him snippier than usual. Maybe it will calm itself out, or maybe you can ask him about it outside of work so that it's clear that your discussion is personal?

In any event, I wish you luck. You've made it this far, why not have a whole lot of fresh veggies cut up for munching on when you need some chewing to help settle your emotions?

I have to same response when I am dealing with stress, I eat. As much as you don't feel like it, you would prabably feel a little better if you went to the gym. It could help you work off some of that stress with your friend. Plus, you may be more inclined to eat better and start getting back on track. Right now, I wouldn't expect to be perfect with your eating and excarcise, but if you start to try and get back to being good, it would prabably lift your spirits and help you deal with everything with your friends until that worked itself out. Maybe you could talk to another friend about what is going on, or even suggest going for a walk while you talk about it. Or if you want you could talk to the person bothering you. Either way, things will eventually work themselves out. RIght now just try and be strong. Good luck.

I have to agree that it's not you, it's your friend. Some people can't really separate business from friendship. He's the one who's missing out, not you. He could have this great friend right here but for now he's decided to concentrate on the business part instead. I think this will eventually turn around, though.

As for emotional eating--cut yourself some slack. EVERYBODY is an emotional eater. How could we possibly not tie up food with emotions? From the time we're born, that's how we're soothed. Give yourself a pat on the back instead of a kick in the pants. You're feeling sad. It will get better and so will your eating--it really will. I am so sorry you're going through this but don't be down on yourself about the eating. Just brush yourself off and try again. You've done nothing wrong--you were just trying to soothe yourself. And then you came to the realization that you wanted real soothing, in some way other than food, and you came here, yay! That was the right thing to do. That's progress!!

Thanks, everyone....I'm still feeling kinda down about some things, but I feel better about being able to come here and air some stuff out. I'm going to get back in the saddle, so to speak, and stop adding stress by worrying about being stressed, if that makes any sense. lol!

Big hugs, Fl_Chickie... Great advice from the other girls here.
I understand that very well. I was talking to my psychiatrist about that a couple of weeks ago in relation to an episode similar to yours. I was so angry with myself because I wasn't able to put it out of my mind and move on.
My psychi is a Buddist, so he's very "together", but he said to me, "You know, if you were some great god-like figure, I'd say you've got a problem, but what you're experiencing is only human nature. It's normal, and we all go through it. Accept that you're human, and that you'll never have complete control over your emotions."
Having said that, there is a little trick (that I need to practice more often myself) you can try. I learned it in day hospital this fall... Give yourself permission to put your worry aside to think about at a later time.
As I said, it takes practice, but it's worth the effort. If you can put it aside and move on, the problem often seems smaller when you come back to it.

I'll be saying prayers for you and your friend... ... I hope that you can resolve things soon, hon.

Hi FL Chickie!

What part of Florida are you from/in? I am from Jacksonville and live in NC. I still have lots of friends in the Jax area and still go there to visit family.

I'm sorry you are having a hard time! I would be happy to talk to you anytime! Read under the thread about "what causes you to binge". I shared my info there and got lots of good tips from others who posted there. It's under Chicks in Control also.

Lesley