I'm terrible with introductions, so I'm just going to say it how it is.
A few weeks ago my friend (a heavy-set girl like me) informed me that she would be getting surgery on her stomach to help her lose weight and while it isn't at all an uncommon procedure, it is her first time ever in any type of surgery and is absolutely terrified. She has to do it, however. Her health is declining and doctors are telling her that she needs to start losing weight before things start getting bad. She's tried almost everything out there - diets and exercise of the like, but nothing seems to work so the date of the surgery has been set.
She lives in Australia, and while I'm here in the United States, I am unable to be there physically with her while she gets this surgery which absolutely tears me apart, but I came up with another idea.
My friend started to tell me about this diet plan that she is going to be put on three weeks before the surgery to help prepare her body for what is to come. It's a fantastic weight-loss program called Optifast and, unfortunately for me, is only available in New Zealand and Australia. I say unfortunate for me because while she's telling me about this program, voicing her concerns about being able to stick to the diet, I told her, without hesitation, that I would do it with her so that when she needs someone to talk to about her daily struggles, it can be a close friend who knows exactly what she is going through, while she's going through it.
It was after I told her I would be doing this with her that I discovered Optifast was only available to those two regions, and while sad, I immediately began to look for a replacement "American" diet that would essentially be the same thing so I can do this with her. As a friend, I'm a woman of my word.
This was when I became more in tune to the program Slim Fast. You hear about it almost all the time when someone mentions weight loss and to me, it seems to be the brunt of all 'fat people' jokes but as I looked into it more, I really began to respect it. I watched people's success stories on youtube, physically seeing the results and listening to their daily struggles. I've seen the before and after photos and more importantly, I've seen photos of myself.
So if the fact that I'm doing this for a friend to show my support for this surgery wasn't enough, my own self image came into play when I sat down and just... looked at me. I am currently 252 pounds carrying HEAVILY in my breasts and the rest in my stomach, hips and thighs. I don't exactly have measurements, and my bra, pants and underwear sizes aren't exactly accurate either since I haven't done much shopping lately, but if I were to take my best guess, this is what I got.
Height: 5'7"
Weight: 252 pounds
Bra size: 46 E
Pant size: 20
Looking at this just makes me sick and I have to wonder how I even let myself get this way? I have problems just like everyone else and I'd like to make excuses that my Long QT (irregular heartbeat), depression, anxiety and sleeping problems are the main cause, but when it comes down to it I know inside that it's a matter of my self control. Simply put, I have none. I myself have tried a majority of different things - most notable the extreme body-changing workout routine called P90X and while I did it for 30 full days and was getting fantastic results, I ended up quitting. I even gained back what I lost and then some.
Another incentive, I suppose, that is going to help drive me to stay on task this time around, aside from my word to my friend that I would do this, aside from my total loathe of self-image, I am also a recently-divorced, 23 year-old single female and no matter what anyone says to make us bigger girls feel better, it's a lot easier to find someone when you not only look good, but feel good as well.
So hopefully, this time, my positives for doing this outweigh the negatives. Hopefully I can stay on task and get that slim, toned body I've always wanted to have. I want to become a famous actress someday, and though there are SOME exceptions to a big, beautiful woman on screen, my chances are much better slimmer.
What started out as a courteous act to be there for a friend in need is slowly turning into something I've realized I've wanted to do for myself, but haven't found the right reasons for doing it until now. So here is to me starting over and working for the things I want.
I started today.
For breakfast, I chose to have one of the meal bars instead of the shake. I'm not really sure why, I think because the meal bar was a lot 'quicker' to get access to than having to put forth the effort in mixing up a shake (I bought the powder) lol.
For the snack, I did one of the 100 - calorie bars. Peanut Butter Crunch Time. I was a bit disappointed because it reminded me of a Butterfinger, and that is one candy bar I've never particularly liked.
For lunch, I did the vanilla shake and though I'm not a huge fan of vanilla flavor, I was deeply enjoying myself because it tasted and even kind of had the texture of cake batter, so I was a happy duck.
For Dinner, I ended up making one of the 500 - calorie salads posted on the Slim Fast website. Chicken, oranges, peas with a roll... yeah it was pretty good.
I find myself going through hunger pains after dinner, before going to bed. So I'm doing things to keep myself busy like writing this blog up and I already know I can finish the day.
So to review, the current meal plan I have set is thus:
Breakfast - Meal bar or shake
Snack - snack bar or fruits, veggies or nuts
Lunch - Meal bar or shake
Dinner - 500 calorie dinner
I am well aware that I can have up to 3 snacks a day, but in my research I found a particular girl who started out, same as me, and found that this was the best way she could keep and maintain results even after a year of being on the program.
Anyway, that is all for now. I'm really not sure how much I'll be updating. I know I'm only going to be weighing once a week since the body weight fluctuates between a few pounds daily and I don't want to get over-excited or over disappointed. So we shall see. I'm expecting tomorrow to be a bit harder. Today I didn't have to work, but tomorrow I will be, and I work at a pizza joint with SOOOO many good smells and foods available to me for free.
Wish me luck!
Slim Fast(ing) because of a friend
