I find that many people in our situation (i.e., those who have to mindfully eat to stay at a healthy weight) are perfectionists. That is, we have this vision of a perfect diet, which we can sometimes follow if we're really mindful about it. However, when we veer from that self-imposed perfect diet, then we give up.
The older I've gotten the more I've realized that consistency is more important than perfection. I've probably gained 5- 10 pounds from my lowest weight, mainly because I'm not measuring and weighing my food and my body got used to the exercise I was doing and stopped burning as many calories. In the past, I would have freaked out about that, gone on some uber-strict diet, failed at it, given up, and regained even more weight. Not so this time. I'm holding steady, I'm still at a good weight, and I can still wear all my clothes. Consistency, not perfection.

I got some interesting advice that has helped me a lot. I'm obviously not at goal, but I do feel really good about where I'm trending due to this advice.

Doesn't it drive you nuts when you see a thin/healthy friend eat a cupcake? Why don't they gain weight like we do? Well, open your eyes/ears. They make trade-offs to enjoy that cupcake. After I heard this advice I started paying attention. I overheard my co-worker talk about how she was going to have to run longer on the treadmill that night for her cupcake. I listened to a friend mention that she'll have to have a healthy food day tomorrow because of the two cocktails she drank. They may do it unconsciously, but when they eat something that is high-calorie, they make up for it in exercise or eating less. Maybe they have a lazy day - they eat less that day because of it.

Thin/healthy people aren't that because of magic. It's because they have a different idea of what a great day of meals is about. Where we may feel a satisfying day is brunch followed by a cheeseburger with a beer topped off with a DQ sundae... they may find a satisfying day as a yogurt, a run, a chicken salad and a dinner of pizza. If you saw them eat the pizza you would think "they are so lucky!" But, on days you eat pizza, what does the rest of your day look like?

I know I'm rambling a little bit... but this is the "lifestyle change" people speak of. I don't think it means diet. I think it means lifestyle change. It means you need to change your mindset that you will someday be able to eat whatever you want whenever you want. You won't unless you change your mind about whatever you want - which is hard because all those days that got you this weight gain defined it differently.

Because we skewed our definition over the years we have to live a life of trade-offs. It's similar to being an addict. You fight it every day of your life. That doesn't mean it has to be hard. Seriously. I've read about all the people talking about how they exercise more and eat vegetables. Ewwww. But, as I've been cooking new recipes, I've learned I REALLY like some of these all-vegetable meals. I get excited to make them again.

It's not all doom-and-gloom. But, it is definitely about reminding yourself to make the trade-off for the choice.

Does this help? Does it make sense?

Amberelise

Your rambling makes sense. Lifestyle change is truly the optimum way to live. I've noticed as I make some changes that includes which isle I avoid in the Grocery Store, and what restaurant I avoid as well as my choices on when to eat and when to stop. I've worn pedometer for years for some feedback on how much activity I'm having this day, and what my weekly total looks like.

Isn't it great to discover some good healthy meals that also taste good!!!

Sandy

Learned a lot from this thread. ( :

Yep! Thanks everyone for such a useful information!

Very well said!

I think the best way to make it a lifestyle is to change your dietary choice's focus: Instead of going for the lowest calories, go for maximum satiety. That way it won't feel like a constant battle, a daily STRUGGLE with hunger.

For example, black beans are REALLY low in calories.. but are also REALLY filling due to their high protein and high fiber content.

There's dozens of foods that are extremely satiating - which is the number one component you're looking for to maximise dietary adherence. And you know what comes when you stick to your diet? The fat gradually whooshes away.

The (general) rule of thumb is as follows: The higher the protein, fiber and fat content of a food source, or any combination thereof, the more slowly it gets digested. The slower it gets digested, the more filling it is.