[eliseteek]

Okay so I just finished my senior year of high school in May and during the school year I maintained my weight between 150 and 155 pounds (I'm 6'3'') and I was so happy and confident. I am an athlete, I play volleyball, and will be playing in college next year. After school ended, I no longer had a routine, and out of boredom started binge eating. I would get back on track for 2-3 days in a row, but I kept slipping. Today, after a 3 day binge, I weighed myself at 180. I am praying that some of that is water weight. I hate how I feel and look. I know I'm not overweight or anything currently, but I hate it. I don't even want to try on any of my clothes besides workout ones because I just know they won't fit. I miss my old body so much and will do anything to get back there. I leave for college in 2 weeks and want to do as much as I can before then. In addition to boredom, I have a feeling that this overeating has also been brought on by stress. I love playing volleyball, don't get me wrong, and I couldn't be happier to say I'm playing D1 in college. But I am not as good as the other girls on the team. Part of this weight gain is because I feel like I am better and stronger at my sport at this weight (and so does my mom) but it comes at the price of my happiness and confidence in everything else and I just don't know if its worth it. I feel like if I want to pursue my sport, I have to give up my slender model-like frame that I had 3 months ago and I really don't want to. I am no longer excited about clothes shopping, going out, or anything like that. I just want to get back to 150 more than anything right now. I wish I could rewind to May and do this all differently.

[Mazzy]

Originally Posted by eliseteek

Okay so I just finished my senior year of high school in May and during the school year I maintained my weight between 150 and 155 pounds (I'm 6'3'') and I was so happy and confident. I am an athlete, I play volleyball, and will be playing in college next year. After school ended, I no longer had a routine, and out of boredom started binge eating. I would get back on track for 2-3 days in a row, but I kept slipping. Today, after a 3 day binge, I weighed myself at 180. I am praying that some of that is water weight. I hate how I feel and look. I know I'm not overweight or anything currently, but I hate it. I don't even want to try on any of my clothes besides workout ones because I just know they won't fit. I miss my old body so much and will do anything to get back there. I leave for college in 2 weeks and want to do as much as I can before then. In addition to boredom, I have a feeling that this overeating has also been brought on by stress. I love playing volleyball, don't get me wrong, and I couldn't be happier to say I'm playing D1 in college. But I am not as good as the other girls on the team. Part of this weight gain is because I feel like I am better and stronger at my sport at this weight (and so does my mom) but it comes at the price of my happiness and confidence in everything else and I just don't know if its worth it. I feel like if I want to pursue my sport, I have to give up my slender model-like frame that I had 3 months ago and I really don't want to. I am no longer excited about clothes shopping, going out, or anything like that. I just want to get back to 150 more than anything right now. I wish I could rewind to May and do this all differently.

Hi there....take this from someone who has struggled with weight her whole life. I'm down (and kept off for many years) 40 pounds from my highest weight, but certainly no expert on weight loss.

This is an honest statement: "I hate how I feel and look."

This is a dishonest statement: "I know I'm not overweight or anything currently..."

Why do I point this out? The 2nd statement, while it may be true that you know you're not overweight, you certainly don't believe it...so why are you saying it? Because of the potential "haters" which may look at you and accuse you of worrying too much when you're beautiful just the way you are? Or because you're trying to convince yourself that you don't feel the way you do?

The point is that you feel a certain way so OWN that feeling. Take responsibility for it. It's okay to feel.

Now, be specific...what do you hate about it? Drill down to concrete specifics. Do you feel "out of control"? Do you just hate the number, "180?" What exactly do you hate?

If you don't know who you are, then change is impossible. Know your feelings, drill into them, pay attention to them, own them. When you know how you feel, you can learn many more things - including how to address the issues in your life.

Ultimately, binge eating is a way to tune out. I'm suggesting you tune in.

[MauiKai]

We are similar in size, but I am 6'1" tall. I was 150 most of my life, then I hit 181. Ugh! Same for me also in that everyone says "But you're not overweight, you're tall!" It is hard for people sometimes to understand that just because you're tall doesn't mean you can/want to carry more weight than you are comfortable with.

[Palestrina]

Wow congrats on college and volleyball! You are wise beyond your years to realize that your recent binging is directly related to the stress and anxiety of leaving for college. It's an exciting time but also a difficult transition. Comfort eating is a way to deal with the stress of apprehension. What if your new teammates don't like you? Why if you don't fit in? What if you don't do well? There is lots of apprehension an yore not the only woman to turn to the comfort of food to help you settle those uncomfortable feelings.

However, you're an athlete. And that means you are already very in tune with your body's needs. It's time to tune in a little more and find the ways to cope that will actually benefit you and work. Spend the rest of the summer enjoying yourself and releasing yourself from the pressure of the scale. You didn't make that team because of a number on a scale. You have some serious skill and experience to contribute. And what you don't know you have the capacity to learn. You'll meet new people who will help you grow and flourish. Think of your new potential friends. They don't care which number on te scale makes you the happiest.

Being fraught with worry over a number is just a distraction. It's a symptom of stress eating but it's not an actual problem. Focus on relieving yourself from the stress and your weight will settle.