You can carve out your own niche of self loathing by believing you are over indulging by choice.
Clearly some people seem to benefit from viewing their food behaviours as addiction, and I have no argument with that. But those of us who don't hold this view do not necessarily "carve out a niche of self-loathing."
For me, the notion that all my eating behaviours are a free choice not only rings true, but is empowering and freeing. If my binging is a choice, then not binging is also a choice I can make. If eating two rich desserts is a choice, then saying no thanks is also a choice. Believing that I am a free agent helps me become a free agent.
wannabeskinny, I agree with every word you've said. It may sound harsh to those that feel you're stepping on their turf, but I read past that to someone who has a strong opinion on the subject for good reason. I have read many of your posts, and you have strong opinions. That is your personality, I think.
Your method is coming from a completely different mindset that perhaps others on here aren't quite aware of or don't really understand fully, which is intuitive eating - being guided by an internal personal experience: one of fullness/hunger, one of identifying emotional needs and caring for them honestly (i.e. proclamation of individual freedom), rather than an external parameter of sugar restriction based on an assumption that it is addictive (i.e. admission of dependency, submission) and possibly disregarding the emotional aspect of compulsive overeating, which some people feel is illusory.
The part I agree with the most is, "Deprive yourself of your most effective coping mechanism and watch the backlash." We will do anything to defend our coping mechanisms. That's denial. The addiction, in my opinion, isn't to the physical material of sugar or starches, it's to the process of eating (for some kind of emotional release).
My question to you or to anyone in the same camp is: do you know of any good resources for replacing this coping mechanism with an equally effective one? How does one go about soothing to the extent that food soothes? What is your process? I've read many books, and few actually detail this process.
Mazzy, that's the million dollar question. I'm lucky enough to have an awesome nutritional therapist who guides me trough the process but still, it is very hard work and not always straight forward.
The first step is to understand the mechanics of emotional eating. I always knew that I was an emotional eater but had no clue how that worked because the physical sensation was always hunger. How does emotion turn into hunger? I found the answer in the book Overcoming Overeating which does a really good job at explaining the process.
The next step is to identify the emotions that our eating is masking. And then taking the appropriate actions to address them. Replacing out coping mechanism of eating with ones that will actually work. I've made lists and harts of things I can do ranging from calling a friend to writing in a journal to sitting with my feelings etc. but honestly dealing with an emotion is not the hard part, tr hard part is identifying the emotion and separating it from the eating. The more info it the better I get. And once I started really accepting my emotions and feeling them rather than suppressing them the hunger has just gone away little by little.
It's all about addressing your body's true needs. Becoming intuitive to hunger fullness is only the beginning. Once you start tuning into your bodies basic needs (hunger, rest, intimacy, laughter, movement, sleep, etc) your whole world changes in a way I couldn't have imagined. What started as a way for me to address my disordered eating and lose weight became a gateway to addressing all my needs be they emotional, physical or psychological.
I think when we start to feel lost and helpless, as most women experience as part of weightloss efforts, we seek to control and perfect. We rely on outside forces such as diets to dictate when we eat, what to eat and put labels on foods that are good or bad. We let magazines tell us what we should buy, how we should look, how to lose weight and get fit. And the more we listen to them the less we listen to out own selves and the further we move away from addressing our true needs. Sorry to derail.
The alcoholic has to "choose" to go down to the liquor store and raise the bottle to their mouths, too. Why is their addiction legit and someone who finds themselves halfway through a can of Pringles without even realizing it does not get any understanding of the fact that there is an underlying pathology?
Now here's the thing: I'm not a food addict. I don't have the disease of obesity, and my problems are basically just relearning appropriate portions after being raised to eat big piles of food. Doesn't mean that I can't see how others may have gotten out of control via a different set of obstacles.
The alcoholic has to "choose" to go down to the liquor store and raise the bottle to their mouths, too. Why is their addiction legit and someone who finds themselves halfway through a can of Pringles without even realizing it does not get any understanding of the fact that there is an underlying pathology?
Now here's the thing: I'm not a food addict. I don't have the disease of obesity, and my problems are basically just relearning appropriate portions after being raised to eat big piles of food. Doesn't mean that I can't see how others may have gotten out of control via a different set of obstacles.
I love this thoughtful comment! Some, maybe everyone sometimes, are unaware of the filters through which they see the world. And some people deny food addictions yet describe their own behaviors in terms that are entirely consistent with addiction. I guess the word has baggage. And there is a lack of clear & precise definition as to what constitutes addiction, at least on these threads.
I don't know why there is so much anger over the debate about food addiction. If food addiction is your truth then no one can diminish that or take it away from you. There is no place for anger in a journey of health and wellness.
Call it whatever you will, but I could not stop overeating until I completely cut out sugar and flour (I actually cut all grains as a safety measure). I tried for YEARS and YEARS to eat them moderately, and include them in my eating. I couldn't do it. Once I cut them food lost the huge pull it had. Food has no appeal for me now. What I eat tastes OK, but I never eat if I'm not hungry now. In fact, eating is kind of a chore. I miss the great pleasure I got from food, but I don't miss being a slave to my taste buds
Call it whatever you will, but I could not stop overeating until I completely cut out sugar and flour (I actually cut all grains as a safety measure). I tried for YEARS and YEARS to eat them moderately, and include them in my eating. I couldn't do it. Once I cut them food lost the huge pull it had. Food has no appeal for me now. What I eat tastes OK, but I never eat if I'm not hungry now. In fact, eating is kind of a chore. I miss the great pleasure I got from food, but I don't miss being a slave to my taste buds
Wow. May I ask how you did it? I'm still struggling with the idea that I caneat with abandon occasionally and then go back on the wagon. It is indeed a slavish attachment for me.
Wow. May I ask how you did it? I'm still struggling with the idea that I caneat with abandon occasionally and then go back on the wagon. It is indeed a slavish attachment for me.
Well I've only been doing it for a couple of months, so it's not like I have it down pat or anything. I did allow myself a small indulgence on my son's birthday-- but then I was a huge grouch for about a week afterwards, and I can't think of any reason why except that. I may try another small indulgence on my daughter's birthday in a couple of months, but if I have to spend a week recovering from 2 breadsticks and a glass of soda, it's not worth it.
Anyway, the way I did it was I decided to view it as a poison or a drug. I just vowed I absolutely would not put it in my mouth, no matter what, the same way I would never do cocaine, no matter how awesome it might make me feel. Because, essentially that's why I ate it-- it certainly wasn't for the nutritional value
I think the other thing that helped was cutting out a couple of groups of food. Before I would say, I can have a scoop of ice cream once a week, or candy only if I'm at the movies, or whatever, but that just kept me on the hook, and eventually more sugar/ flour would creep back in. Because I don't have that option I don't have to put energy into debating whether or not, should I or shouldn't I? I can very easily justify and wear myself down. I personally can't moderate-- I'm not even sure if I can moderate a few times a year for family birthdays, like I said we'll have to see how that goes.
The first couple of weeks I felt like crap-- like I had the flu. But now I feel fine. I still mentally want those foods, but when the thoughts come, I just don't interact with them. I can't indulge in eating them OR thinking about them. Also, I'm religious, so I think God really helps me. I view being on plan as a huge gift. It's SO hard to get here, I'm not throwing it away for a Snickers bar.
Last edited by thinpossible; 07-27-2014 at 12:23 PM.
I gave up all refined starches, sugar, grains for a period of 6 months, and felt no difference whatsoever. The only time I felt physically better was when I was following a hunger-directed diet, which did not eliminate any food group. For me, the addictive process seemed to be about my way of eating, not in what I was eating. But, we all have different experiences. I think it's wonderful that you can give up a food and feel an improvement in your world. I wish it was that easy for me.
I feel that what is being called "addiction" is really over indulgence. The choice to eat an entire block of ice cream in one sitting is a real choice. People wh manage their weights do so because they eat human appropriate serving sizes. Sugar and fat portions need to be much smaller. A person gets a bag of some food in which 3 pieces are an appropriate serving, but because the food is available and paid for, they eat 24 pieces. That's not addiction. That is gluttony. What that person might have done was good old fashioned rationing.
The proof is that you only see overweight population where there is affordable, excess food.
So why we over eat is because we can.
I guess I do not believe in food addiction either.
I get a bag of cherries, it has something like 50 cherries in it, and I eat 10 and am satisfied and stop. I don't stop because I have self-control or discipline, but because I'm actually satisfied. I'm clearly not a glutton.
I get a bag of Swedish fish and find myself NEVER satisfied, even when they are gone and I'm still looking for more, more, more (under the couch, behind the fridge, maybe I've dropped one! MUST HAVE ANOTHER FISHIE!). Clearly I'm a horrible glutton.
Food has an ABSOLUTE and DIRECT impact on how I feel emotionally and physically (just like cigarettes did), thus... it is an addiction to me and the only way i can deal with it is to limit food choices.
Much better than feeling out of control with Intuitive Eating which is great for some and not for others...i wish it worked for me because i think it is the preferred way of eating but i have to face facts....
Once I cut them food lost the huge pull it had. Food has no appeal for me now. What I eat tastes OK, but I never eat if I'm not hungry now. In fact, eating is kind of a chore. I miss the great pleasure I got from food, but I don't miss being a slave to my taste buds
Those are interesting and important observations. I also find that cutting out carbs takes away most of the pleasure of eating for me. That's why I'm not prepared to do it: pleasurable eating experiences are an important source of well-being and even happiness for me. So, I've taught myself to moderate my carb portions. Lo and behold, I CAN have just five tortilla chips or one tablespoon of Nutella. Once every month or so, I have a meal in which I go totally wild. I think these meals function as a kind of safety valve for me: I don't have to face a future of NEVER eating with abandon.
I do understand that moderating carbs may be far more difficult for some than for others...
