Hi chicks, I posted here a few months ago but then got distracted. Well anyway on Monday I stepped on the scales and I was the heaviest I've ever been, which is a scary thing to see. So I'm trying to get back on the wagon, and I was really good until last night when I lost control and had a binge session after dinner.

I ate about half a block of cheese, 10 crackers, finished off about a quarter tub of ice cream, a stick of liquorice and a hot chocolate. HOWEVER it still only put my total daily calories to about 2500, which is way better than it used to be (I've hit 5000 before).

So although I'm starting today as day 1 again, I'm taking it as a small victory that due to healthier eating overall I've not sabotaged myself as much as I have previously.

Good luck to everyone else today. xx

Yesterday wasn't great.
I started the day with a light breakfast, but lunch and dinner were totally substantial. I wound up eating essentially 2 extra meals (of oatmeal, soy yogurt, cereal, and lots of chocolate). I also went for a jog and worked (dishwashing for 2 hours), so I'm sure I didn't eat oo much above maintenance.
I did mess up a little, but not entirely. If today goes well, I will count it as Day 6, but if I mess up even a little (unintuitive/unjustified eating, binge-driven snacking, etc.), then I'm starting back at Day 1 tomorrow.

I should do well though. I want to lose weight and be an intuitive eater so badly. I'm feeling a little down on myself right now...

But I just have to keep going. I'll be back tonight to post how well today went once it's done :)

Thanks Elise!! I realized that my self talk is going to make or break me. It has broken me so much in the past, that's why now I'm letting it help to make me, make my attitude and body newer.


Day 6, and I'm binge free. I feel so dang good from eating clean and I am going to keep this up! So far this week, I have lost 4.8lbs, I feel very happy and clear headed, weekends are always a challenge for me though. However my husband and I loaded up on good healthy foods so hopefully, it won't be too much of a struggle to not binge!

PaintedPonies good luck counting day 6! You can do it! Well done for accepting you didn't mess up 'entirely'. Try not to be so down on yourself, the fact you can acknowledge that and keep going shows strength of character.

Pink Hurricane Congrats on day 6! So glad to hear eating clean is making you feel so great. Keep it up!

I totally slipped today and had over 1000 calorie binge - 21 nut cream wafers, 5 oreos, half a snickers, a chocolate truffle and 4 ginger thins. ALL of the sugar. I'm going to cycle home now, then have a healthy dinner of fish and vegetables and try not to let it get me down. I have to be up super early tomorrow so hoping I can sleep right and start afresh in the morning.

i overate on cookies again last night, i only tolerate it because of my tom. today i'll try to stay on plan. i weighed at a pharmacy yesterday and i was so close to the 200!!! i can't believe it. the number sounds so much better in kg lol but it was at the end of the day after i already had breakfast and lunch and drank a lot of water so that probably ads a few pounds. i'll be weighing on my home scale next week after my period so hopefully it will show different number

MilesAway and MissSunshine we all slip up and it's not a big deal in the bigger picture, pick yourself back up and make it even better today, and tomorrow. Honestly you just have to take it one day at a time, so cliche I know, but absolutely true!

So last night after eating healthy all day, my husband wanted to split what was left of the dessert dish I made for him earlier in the week. I had a small amount of it, and savored every single bite! It was very delicious, but I stayed within my calorie limit and felt satisfied. Tonight we have a birthday dinner to go to for one of our friends and it's at a restaurant that I have infamously binged at before. I'm going to look at the menu online later and make a decision and stick with it, so I won't have to worry about scanning the menu forever when I do get there and get that 'screw it I'm gonna eat whatever' attitude, which has always been detrimental for me. I want to have fun and enjoy myself tonight without worrying about a binge, so that's the plan! :)

Pink Hurricane, so smart to look at the menu online and decide ahead of time what you're going to get. When I do that and stick with it -- even if friends say "let's split this or that," -- I'm so much safer and happier. Not having to think about what to order removes so much anxiety (and regret) from the evening. Hope you have a great time.

I'm under tons of stress. My mom went back into the hospital yesterday afternoon, I had a huge blow out fight with my brother (I doubt we'll ever talk again) and I learned that my ex was cheating on me the entire time we were together (more than a year). So, last night I cried a little bit and let myself sit and be sad, but (and this is huge)...I didn't binge at all. In fact, I might have eaten a little below the healthy amount. So, today, I need to make sure I eat even if I'm not hungry so I'm not setting myself up for a huge binge caused by actual hunger.

Good luck everyone.

EliseVi - That's terrible news, I'm really sorry to hear it. But you deserve you a huge kudos for not turning to food. It's a big step!

Today I woke up and ate a healthy breakfast, but then devoured half a bag of family sized pretzels in one sitting. I rationalized to myself that it was okay because I was under my calorie limit for the day, but I was still disappointed that I'd slipped into that binge mindset at all, regardless of how much I consumed. The idea that "I might as well finish the bag, there are only 1-2 servings left" is so silly. I know people who can leave that last bite in there for days and never feel the need to finish it.

I'm making strides by not following up with constant binging for the rest of the day, but I'm working towards feeling in control of my eating at all times. I wouldn't have minded eating that much in one go if I'd consciously decided to, it's just the idea that I was zoning out and letting myself eat mindlessly that I'd like to avoid.

Hope everyone's having a great weekend :)

Today has been a hard day for me. I got up with my usual Saturday routine. Clean up the house, go get coffee and breakfast. Usually I work out after this but my sleep was off today and I binged for the first time on Monday in a couple months. So instead of the gym, I went home and have binged on salad and veggies and eggbeaters so that I'll be too full too binge on bad stuff. I really hate when I feel out of control like this. It's hard to see what tomorrow looks like or positive things when I feel stuck in this crippling disorder. It always comes back. That's the most difficult thing!

Way to go Pink Hurricane! It sounds like you are doing really well!
EliseVi congratulations on not turning to food, but be very gentle with yourself. It sounds like you are under a lot of pressure and stress at the moment so make sure you cut yourself some slack if you need to.
OneThreeFive and laceyj keep going! It is ok to slip up and get back on track

Ok, I'm ready to get back on track and declare this day one. (Again.) I couldn't stop bingeing and I ended up putting on weight and getting more demotivated until I got a stomach bug the last few days! Now I'm 1lb down - there's got to be a silver lining to every stomach bug hasn't there?! I'm feeling motivated again, and I hope that seizing my desire to not eat right now will help me curb the binges again. I'm looking forward to a successful day one!

Back at day 1.

Yesterday just got too ridiculous. I ate soo much food!'

But today was awesome. I worked out for an hour this morning, plus went for a walk. I ate really well- even had cake!

I think thursdays-saturdays are dangerous days for me. I under-eat the beginning of the week, so the end is a binge streak.
I'll work on it this week. I can get it.

Today went relatively well. I had bagels and cream cheese for two meals today (breakfast and dinner), which isn't ideal, but I'm trying to not get worked up about nutritional content at the moment. I'm rebounding from years of overdoing "healthy eating" which led to restriction and binging, so I'm hoping to reestablish some intuition regarding eating and hunger before I try to start shaping my diet towards healthier foods again.

Stay strong everyone - tomorrow's a new week!

I'm feeling good about day 2 today! I made it through day 1 yesterday and I have just avoided driving to the nearest shop to buy a mound of food and eat the lot - instead, I have just eaten one 95 calorie Slimfast snack bar. Yes, that is it. Now I am going to have my dinner and let day 2 continue as a success!

Sending positive vibes out to everyone struggling today. We can do this!

heyy, i hope you guys haven't struggled much today.
i've been doing ok yesterday and today. i have so much to do and in two days i'm going home which is going to be stressfull per se...so i hope you hang in there last couple of days....

PinkHurricane congrats for splitting the dessert and staying in control! That must've felt great. :) How did the Birthday meal go?

EliseV so sorry to hear about your troubles. But well done for not bingeing, you're right, that IS huge, and shows you have amazing inner strength. Stay strong and I hope things get better for you. xx

OneThreeFive I know it feels horrible to lose control over your eating, but massive well done for not letting one slip up descend into worse. We're all going to slip up once in a while, but getting control back straight away is the important thing. I admire your attitude to focus on intuitive eating rather than restriction. I try to do that too, but often forget and all logic goes out the window!

Laceyj I know it's hard to be positive but try to take comfort in the fact that you DID have the control to choose to eat things that aren't awful to binge on. It's not ideal, but it's a world away from rubbish food. Hang in there, hope things are better for you today.

eskaDee and magicalCongrats on day 1 and 2! Hope you've still got the motivation to stay in control. Good luck!

Paintedpeonies I have a very similar cycle. I don't under-eat on Monday - Thursday, but I generally eat well. Then the weekend approaches and all goes out the window. But we can do it! Let's stay accountable beyond Thursday this week and in control over the weekend :)

missunshine Good for starting the week well and good luck with the next couple of stressful days.

I slipped up a bit yesterday, but ONLY a bit. I grazed instead of eating dinner on almonds, Habas Fritas, Jerky, scampi and ice cream. BUT apart from the Scampi (which was only one portion) I stopped with everything and put it away. So I didn't eat the whole lot, which is a tiny victory. I've been snacking again today, but again, I've only had a carrot with houmous and 4 crackers with marmite over my 'allotted' food so far. I think it's probably TOM, so I'll give myself a tiny break and vow to be good for the rest of the week.

Keep going everyone!