I've been 'on the wagon' for all of two days. Two fricking days. And I jumped off for basically no reason.
Same as always: my mood fell below 'content', and immediately, I just wanted anything, anything at all, with lots of sugar.
Strawberries and chocolate whipped cream. I told myself while I was making it "at least it's fruit, and you only need a little bit of agave syrup". Yeah, great...except I stupidly (or maybe on purpose subconsciously?) put too much cocoa in it, and it tasted awful, so I had to add more agave syrup...then I added honey. Then I added some more honey.
And instead of just eating the strawberries I had cut up, then dumping the rest of the whipped cream (I of course made WAY too much), I sat there eating whipped cream out of the bowl with my fingers. Then I licked the stupid bowl. Then I scraped the mixing bowl with my fingers. Then I licked the beaters clean.
And now I feel like ****, just like I knew I would, and I just want more food - mac and cheese, chips, hot dogs, ice cream, anything with loads of cheese, and sour cream. And unfortunately, I actually have the first three in the house for my husband.
Two days. Seriously, that's all I apparently have in me? It's so very tempting to just say 'screw it', and eat til it hurts to breathe. But that'll just make it that much harder to start fresh tomorrow.
I just wish I could figure out how to be better than this.
I had a pretty tough day (nothing weight loss related) yesterday and my mood has unfortunately moved on to today also. I know I'll be fighting with myself all day now to try my best to stay away from anything sweet. It's going to be a struggle but I will try my best! Luckily I have a couple of things to do so that will distract me for most of the day. I definitely know how you feel about how feelings and emotions can get in the way of your eating. I've experienced this a number of times in the past. The best thing you can do is keep on going! We will all have slip ups along the way but as long as you put this behind you are continue your journey you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. As the user above mentioned, posting and showing that this did effect you shows us and and more importantly yourself that you want to keep on going! Best of luck!
Bargoo is right-by posting it here and getting it out it shows that you to want to do this.
It takes time though-in the beginning I would constantly start over and over again. I would do well for a few days and then something would happen-something good, something bad it really didn't matter and I was right back to where I started. But I kept trying. That's the difference-recognizing the slip up and being able to just push past it and keep going. You are not alone-you can do this!
Devnet, I so know how you feel! A few things that I've been doing to lessen these moments:
1) I try to look at alternate things that might counter my mood like reading a book, watching a favorite tv show or movie (usually something that makes me laugh), calling a friend, reading inspirational posts from this site, hitting the gym or putting on some good music and dancing, going window shopping, etc.
2) I avoid buying foods that I will tend to overeat or would trigger a binge (I know, this is hard)
3) When I do see myself going back for more and more, I take salt and dump it on the food. Putting it in the fridge or freezer isn't safe for me since I would just take the food out minutes later and continue to eat.
4) I eat while thumbing through a magazine with inspirational pictures (not fashion mags for me but Oxygen and mags with healthy looking bodies I aspire to).
Last, when I do mess up, I do like you and immediately get back on plan with eating healthy. This usually results in minimum if any pain on the scale versus letting the poor eating go on for days or weeks.
You can do this!!! But don't make it harder than it needs to be. Nobody *NEEDS* junk food. Your health is too important to keep stuff that triggers you, in your house!
Thank you all for the support, I really appreciate it. I didn't wind up eating anymore after the strawberries and whipped cream, amazingly, and feeling much better about it today.
Prim2012: That's really good advice, especially the third one. Can't really binge if I make it taste like utter crap, lol. Thanks for posting that, I'll definitely keep it in mind next time.
Valrock: thank you. It is, unfortunately, difficult to do that, because my husband eats pretty crappy food and has no real desire to change that (he can't stand vegetables). The crap food is technically his.
Valrock: thank you. It is, unfortunately, difficult to do that, because my husband eats pretty crappy food and has no real desire to change that (he can't stand vegetables). The crap food is technically his.
Maybe have a talk with him? My husband used to be like that and we compromised with him only eating that kind of stuff outside the house. Now he's on the health wagon with me, and doesn't even do that. It makes such a difference to not have that temptation in your face all the time. *hugs*
So Annoyed With Myself
