Less restricting to help stop binges...?
I binge eat probably 1x per week on average. I hate it. The next day (or few hours) I feel sick, bloated, guilty, ugly, ashamed... You would think that would be enough motivation to stop, but it's apparently not.
The day after these binges I feel like I need to cut back and hardly eat at all- I feel almost as strong of a pull against food as the pull toward food during a binge... So binge day is usually about 4-5,000 calories and the next day or two I feel guilty if I eat more than 1,000. I figure that's not the end of the world... But when I DO only allow myself 1,000 or less calories, I feel so good and in control that I want to keep doing it. So for the next few days I have to force myself to get to 1300- and I don't like to go over that number. I don't need to lose more weight, I just feel like I'm winning when I eat less. (also I run 30-35 miles a week, am on my feet for 2 jobs and weight lift for an hour on top of that 5x per week). I realize it's insane and unsustainable... After about a week of restricting- I binge and the cycle continues.
Every week I tell myself that, "next week I'll bump my calories up to 1700", but then I binge and feel the need to counter-balance it by starving.
Realistically I'm pretty sure that if I keep myself nourished enough, I probably wouldn't be so likely to binge... But what if I do? What if I'm eating at my real maintenance and still have a food-fest every week? I'll gain weight and just the thought of it is unrationally stressful.
Has anyone else felt stuck in this cycle? What did you do?
Thanks to anyone who got through that mess!
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