Embarassed at the quick-mart
 

Does anyone have a store they go to near you where in the middle of the night you buy about 10,000 calories and you're afraid they see you as a binge purger and you try not to be seen and when you go get gas during the day you hope a different person is manning the store?

I once went to a shop buying loads of junk and the woman commented, saying like 'Is this all for you?' sounding all incredulous. I was humiliated. I never went back there, haha! I think it was sort of rude of her to comment but then it doesn't look good a really obese man going in buying piles of junk, ooops!!

There is a shop near me where I very oten buy sweets, biscuits, crisps etc (DID, I mean, I am stopping all that!!). I try not to dwell on what they must think of me, cringe!

At my highest weight, the Wendy's lady took to saying "see you tomorrow"... I stopped going to that location. A few months later, I stopped going period.

never had any comments, but I often feel guilty when I do buy food I know I'm going to binge on - like a big frozen pizza or a big bag of chips - like the cashier and others around see I'm fat and know it's all for me and I'm going to eat it all in private later. they probably don't know, but I guess it's just the guilt... which in a way I guess is good, it stops me from buying that stuff too often. I feel embarrassed ordering take out and getting fast food also (which is why I never eat it)- like the people are thinking "yep, this must be what she eats every day, that's how she got so big!"

on the other hand, I do have to shop for my mom and she often asks for alot of junk food, so I worry people think I'm eating all that too. I try to throw in fresh fruits and vegetables so it doesn't look so bad then (which I do eat!)

Oh wow, I wonder if the cashiers and other customers notice/care? I always imagine they are judging me but I am probably being over the top. Mind, one time I was buying lunch and someone, a customer, made some comment. The thing was I was only buying an innocent tuna sandwich! Oh gosh!
xxxx

I'm a cashier and I have a customer that comes in an buys a ton of groceries, usually junk food. Which I don't really care, everyone does it. But she always feels the need to explain that the food isn't for her it's for her son, which just makes me believe it's for her. :s I guess she's just insecure I don't know. She always thinks she has to for a reason to why she's buying certain things.
When I ring trough people's groceries I never assume how many calories they're going to ingest when they get home. I think that's silly. For all I know they're having a family get together, or whatever. It is sort of really annoying when people have to explain why they are buying something because I simply don't care. No offense lol... Just another pet peeve.

No, that is good to hear. I think I knew really that the vast majority of cashiers don't think anything, just an insecurity of mine. It is true, people hardly going to notice unless you make a big deal and explain it too much!

I think whenever I started seeing the same people at Sonic, it was time to stop. I stopped, and haven't looked back. So maybe it's a great thing (in retrospect) for someone to make a comment, because it's finally bringing the issue out into the public and into the forefront of your mind. You can go so far so long with denial, but when someone else, a stranger no less, brings your eating habits to your attention it's a huge jolt.

Because of my size and level of fitness, I actually get those comments just about every time that I go "binge shopping" (Very rarely up until April and May, when I had some tough times). People are clearly joking, because nobody looks at me and ever believes I would possibly eat all that myself, let alone in about 20 minutes! I usually just joked along with them and said something like "Yeah, movie night... I'm in charge of the snacks this week!"

Secretly though I was a little embarassed.

When I was at my heaviest though, I had this happen all the time. I doubt the man at the register of my corner 7-11 really noticed me, but every time I went in there I felt like I was being judged. Who knows, maybe I was.

I used to work as a cashier (in both stores & restaurants) and honestly, the thought never crossed my mind. We were in the business to sell food, so we didn't care what or how much people buy. It was their business, not ours; and like some of you said, we wouldn't assume you ate it all yourself or at one time either ... ;)

I remember that when I used to binge I bought tons of baked stuff and told the shop assistant that I was going to freeze that to have fresh cakes and bagels and donuts all through the month. They were always very polite and never made a comment... I never heard anybody make a comment on what other people buy, and mind you, I have seen people buy piles of chocolate bars and candy. But I don't buy that anymore! Yay!

There is a market stall where I used to buy lots of sweets at the weekend when I was about 16. But then one day the stallholder said to me 'When are you going to grow up?'. I ran away in tears because I used to be super melodramatic at that age, haha! I said I'd never come back, and I never did. I remember it every time I pass, aaagh! Too funny.

Shops and restaurants are in the food selling business. The more you buy, the more money they make. I would think any store owner would be foolish to make a negative remark about someone's purchases - in fact, their job is to encourage your addiction and get you to buy more! A cashier, on the other hand, gets paid by the hour and not by commission, so I suppose making snarky remarks that might drive customers away would only make their job easier - fewer customers/less work/same pay. I'm sure the store owner wouldn't be too pleased, though. Maybe more people should complain to the managers/owners about rude behavior by their staff.

I haven't gone through that exactly. But I do notice myself evaluating what thin people buy compared to what I buy. My last shopping trip, I had a few "junk" items compared to the thin, built woman in front of me, I saw her looking over my choices, I was looking over hers and thinking "I would probably be thinner if I ate more of that stuff".

Although I've never had anyone comment on what I'm buying, I ALWAYS used to feel like they were judging me when I would buy junk to binge on. I especially used to feel that way when the cashier was around my age, thin and attractive. Due to that I was very selective on which checkout I would go through.

I've never gotten any comments from cashiers, but I have from other customers. A couple Saturday mornings ago, at the tail end of a migraine, I went to the grocery store and picked up a potato, some meat, and coconut milk ice cream. (After migraines, I indulge a little to soothe my head; after all the barfing that goes along with them, I figure a little food happiness is ok.) The guy behind me in line said loudly, "Ice cream! At this hour? Isn't it a little early for ice cream?" I smiled sweetly and said, "It's never too early for ice cream." (Wanted to add that he should shut his pie hole and mind his own business.)

I worried about that going to 7-11 in Japan. So I walked 3 miles to 2 different 7-11s and another store. How sad is that?!

I had 3 different 24 hour shops within 2 minutes walking distance of my house at one point.. I went to a different one each time but I didn't think too much about it because a lot of stoners lived around there so I wasn't the only one buying lots of junk. There was also a 24 hour supermarket where I would buy those huge bags of onion rings/bacon fries. They probably just thought I was a stoner too though ;)

It doesn't embarrass me when i go to the store at 6:30 in the morning and buy 4 slices of cake to binge on, because i still look relatively thin (i don't look like i eat 4 slices of cake for breakfast) so i do it with confidence on the outside, even though inwardly i know this is just so, so wrong.

I know how u feel about having a bunch of binge food at the register. I always assume the cashier wonders what it's all for. I usually say, I'm going home to watch movies with my family and I wanted to get snacks. Lol. Why in the world am I lying to someone I don't even know? This whole obsession with food and need to hide consumes me. Tomorrow's a new day:)

I have this ridiculous fear of people judging me when I buy junk... I feel so uncomfortable and like people are judging me when i walk down the Candy isle and WalMart! One thing my friends hate about me is i refuse to drive through fast food restaurants because i'm afraid the cashier will think that I'm fat!! I especially hate seeing people I know at the store or at a restaurant.. I get so self conscious. I guess for me, its a mental issue.

In general, I don't care what others think.

In binge mode and a trolly full of junk foods, sometimes I pretend in my mind that I am preparing a party for children with lots of treats. It's really silly thinking, because it's not like I am actually explaining this idea out loud to anyone, it's just a little lie I make up in my head to make it all seem cheerfully innocent. Only once did a cashier ask about a packet of biscuits, whether I liked them or not and I replied "I didn't know, but the children like them!"

I was at the cinema this time last year a month before I started my journey and I went to get a scoop of icecream and the clerk asked my bf "Has she fallen off the wagon again?"

:(:(:(


I can't remember what youtube clip/documentary maybe it was one of those Jamie Oliver in America things but they were in a supermarket asking shoppers about their groceries and everyone was having a party that week can you imagine, usually a mother with her children and the trollies were stacked to the top with junk food, I know how sad I came from a family who did that used the food in their house as entertainment or a safety net. which then in my teens lead to buying one binge item every couple of weeks, sneaking out there when it wasnt busy blocking out the chasier as I put through my litre tub of icecream at 9 o clock on a friday night :(

I do let myself have bad stuff but nothing that is triggering, I had a triumph the other day I usually never got mcDs unless my friends were there and Id always get a large fries with something else... I went in the other day and ordered just a small fries, took my time and did not feel hungry afterwards, I got over my fear of being hungry and needing to eat as much as possible at every excuse.

Up until recently there were two grocery stores I would go to that were a little ways away from the store that's closest (where I'd go to buy things I really needed) just to buy binging foods. Nobody ever made any comment to me about what I was buying. But my paranoid mind always thought I was being judged. I had two stores to go to so that if the employees in one store got to see me to the point where they could remember me being there just two days ago, then I'd skip that store for a while and go to the other one.

it amazes me how common this feeling is. i thought i was the only one!! I worry what the cashier thinks but more I worry about what others are thinking of me..Ive seen people look in my cart..But Im realy weird I drive myself dizzy cuz I try not to even look people in the eye for fear of even seein a glimpse of disgust on there face. I avoid the candy and chip aisle (and if I do happen to want something so bad, I make up my mind super fast and grab and literaly run out of the isle like Im lost) Its such a terrible feeling though..You'd think to resolve it we wouldnt even buy that food. Im glad Im here though and starting on a new journey to be healthy..But the thoughts of this will always be in my mind when I go shopping..

I know you guys already know this rationally, but cashiers really don't care. Heck, we don't even take notice most times.

In any given day I sell:
-cigarettes to women with oxygen tubes in their noses.
-pregnancy tests to miserable looking teens.
-beer to homeless people who pay with bottle return money.
-enemas.

Its possible I'm just horribly self-involved...but I really don't spend mental energy on what people are buying/if I think they should be buying it. You'd have to bring up something really odd for me to give it a second thought.

That said, when I go to Wegmans at 3am to buy cheese and rolls...I never considered how odd that looked. Huh..That "horribly self-involved" theory is looking a bit more valid..

I worked as a cashier through high school and university and I agree with Tinneranne - most of us really dont care what you're buying at whatever hour of the day. We just want the work day to end! LOL!

That said, and knowing that, I try and buy my junk food from stores that arent in my neighbourhood and stores I know I wont frequent for fear of being judged. That stems from childhood - we used to live above a convenience store and whenever I'd go in there to buy junk [usually chips], the owner would tell me how fat I was and shouldnt be eating them. He still sold them to me though...

I was just thinking about this thread this morning! Today when I went to get gas, I ran inside to pick up some gum as well.

I hate running out, so I usually stock up on my favorite flavors. I grabbed 4 packs of gum total, and when I got to the register the woman let out this big exasperated sigh and said "Ohhhhkaaaaay... do you think you have enough gum here?"

WTF business is it of hers? Seriously? The woman behind the counter who has forgotten how to shower and evidently also how to brush her teeth is judging me on my gum purchase? I should have offered her some! This woman was a mess head to toe, meanwhile I came in bright and early before hitting the gym to buy 4 packs of gum and I'M THE WEIRDO?

Jerk.

So, yes, some people do pay attention and some judge, even when your items are totally normal.

Oh, my, yes (well, almost :D). I'm not the kind to go out at 10 o'clock at night anywhere, even to the corner store to buy junk food, but I do feel embarrassment when I got to the grocery store across the street and buy junk food. Until recently, I was doing that almost every week. I always carefully plan the shopping, making sure I put in a few items that are "normal" (like bread, vegetables, etc) so that it looks like I'm just buying the junk food as part of my normal shopping and not for binge purposes. I'm sure I'm not fooling anybody, though!

To make it worse, I'm living in Israel right now and people here tend to be much more direct and open (read: tactless) about what they say and do. So it's entirely possible to have some idiot in the store commenting on the amount of junk food I'm buying (luckily, that hasn't happened).

I think it's really tied in with the shame and secrecy that comes with binge eating.

I'm proud to say that I've been binge-free since July 20th and I plan on staying that way!

Tam

I'm always really embarassed when buying lots of junk food. I usually go buy it with my husband and we get enough junk food to last a week. I'm always wondering what the cashier is thinking.

There's quite a lot of grocery stores where I live. At my worst I would probably visit three stores a day. I was always worried someone would notice all of the junk I ate. I think I became a bit paranoid about it, so I was constantly looking for different stores that had junk food. There was this convience store that was open for 24 hours, and I used to go there for my midnight binge since everwhere else was closed. I used to hope that there was a different person serving each time I went. I never got any comments though, probably because I was never that big.

I used to feel guilty for buying a candy bar for myself! funny how we judge ourselves so terribly when shopping! Don't sweat it just do your best and stick to the plan as best as you can. Be proud of yourself when you are strong enough to make those tough choices..

You know what I hate the most? "Ooh, are you having a party?"
I've been asked this multiple times, and I know they're just trying to make conversation because it's not condescending or judgmental ever, but holy **** is it awkward and uncomfortable.

I think that's a common question, actually. I get asked that a lot and I see skinny people getting asked that a lot too.

I had my own "embarrassed at the quickmart" moment yesterday. I sometimes buy packs of brightly coloured bubble gum balls at our local convenience store. This time the shopkeeper asked me if it was for me or for someone else. When I said for me, he told me that most people who buy the product are kids or teenagers. He was friendly and didn't mean any harm, but I was embarrassed! And I won't be buying gum there anymore.

If shopkeepers just used their brains, they would realize that it's never good business to point out people's quirky purchases.

Freelance

p.s. Just remembered another similarly annoying incident from my past. I had bought a few chocolates from a Godiva kiosk, and the clerk asked me whether she should put them in a bag or whether it was "a little indulgence you'll be having now" (insert 'wink wink' gesture). Again, she meant no harm, but sheesh.

I haven't worked the till in ages, but back when I did at McDonald's in one of my student jobs, I never really cared. We were all too busy making sure the customer would get his/her food as quickly as possible. The only times when it caught my attention was when the order demanded special care—once, when I was taking orders at the Drive, I had a customer order 25 BigMac menus, which of course weren't ready at all in the kitchen, and so I had to warn my coworkers to 'redirect the manpower' towards getting that completed. But I don't remember ever thinking "whoa, that woman's going on a binge". Rather "they must be having a family party or something". I didn't voice it out loud anyway, we didn't have the time. ^^

When I sometimes get a takeout dessert from the Cheesecake Factory (because I can't handle having more than a single serving of dessert in my house at once!), they always ask if I need silverware. Now, I take pride in saying, yes, I need silverware. Because I am proud to no longer be overweight and no longer embarrassed to admit that I'm going to indulge! Before I started my weight loss journey, I would have been embarrassed and said, no I don't need silverware.

There have definitely been times in the past when I've gone to gas stations to buy binge food and the cashier was starting at me at I roamed the aisles, trying to figure out which sweets would best give me my "fix." I definitely thought the cashier knew I was buying food to binge on.

One time at 1am I was feeling tons of anxiety about a cross country move that I was making to begin graduate school. I didn't want to wake my husband up to talk because he had work in the morning. So (I'm embarrassed to say) I headed off to the local 24 hour Walgreens and bought wayyy more than I should have. The man at the counter commented "wow are you having a party?" Me, embarrassed, decided to make up a story about having a late night study party. The guy then starting asking me about which college I went to and what I studied so I embarked on this huge full blown elaborate lie about my finals and school. Honestly, I should have been flattered that I was thin enough for the cashier to think I was having a party rather than late night snacking. But still it was a pretty uncomfortable experience. At least it was enough peer pressure to ensure that I will never go shopping for late night binges anymore, I'm too self conscious.

HAHAHAHA I love this. I lived in Israel for a year so I know exactly what you are talking about. People there are the nicest people in the world but they are also wayyy too honest and willing to share their opinions. Combine that with the plethora of gorgeous women who live there and it makes you never want to buy junk again.

I always feel guilty when I buy lots of junk food at the store. I've been "out" for the past several months and am just getting back in the saddle. Recently I went to Trader Joe's and got a package of candy, a lemon tart, orange chicken, and other binge items in the same order. I felt like everyone was judging me on what I had chosen for myself.

I am a recovering alcoholic and when I was drinking I would make sure to never go to the same liquor store two days in a row so that no one would know that I was drinking that way every night. Sometimes I would talk about how I was having people over so that they would think I wasn't going to drink all the beer or vodka I had purchased.

I've also been on the other side of the counter. I worked at a drug store and very quickly recognized the regulars who had drinking/eating problems. There was a man who came in daily and bought a quart of vodka and a half gallon of strawberry ice cream. I never judged him, but felt sorry for him and sincerely hoped that he was getting something else to eat other than liquor and ice cream. There was also a very obese disabled man who came in almost daily and bought junk food and soda.

I guess I shouldn't worry about what others are thinking but I should think about why I am still eating junk when I know that it's not good for me and it's also not a socially acceptable way to live. I'm looking forward to being proud of my baskets of healthy vegetables, lean meats and dairy, and fruit.