There's quite a lot of grocery stores where I live. At my worst I would probably visit three stores a day. I was always worried someone would notice all of the junk I ate. I think I became a bit paranoid about it, so I was constantly looking for different stores that had junk food. There was this convience store that was open for 24 hours, and I used to go there for my midnight binge since everwhere else was closed. I used to hope that there was a different person serving each time I went. I never got any comments though, probably because I was never that big.
I used to feel guilty for buying a candy bar for myself! funny how we judge ourselves so terribly when shopping! Don't sweat it just do your best and stick to the plan as best as you can. Be proud of yourself when you are strong enough to make those tough choices..
You know what I hate the most? "Ooh, are you having a party?"
I've been asked this multiple times, and I know they're just trying to make conversation because it's not condescending or judgmental ever, but holy **** is it awkward and uncomfortable.
I once went to a shop buying loads of junk and the woman commented, saying like 'Is this all for you?' sounding all incredulous. I was humiliated. I never went back there, haha! I think it was sort of rude of her to comment but then it doesn't look good a really obese man going in buying piles of junk, ooops!!
There is a shop near me where I very oten buy sweets, biscuits, crisps etc (DID, I mean, I am stopping all that!!). I try not to dwell on what they must think of me, cringe!
I think that's a common question, actually. I get asked that a lot and I see skinny people getting asked that a lot too.
I had my own "embarrassed at the quickmart" moment yesterday. I sometimes buy packs of brightly coloured bubble gum balls at our local convenience store. This time the shopkeeper asked me if it was for me or for someone else. When I said for me, he told me that most people who buy the product are kids or teenagers. He was friendly and didn't mean any harm, but I was embarrassed! And I won't be buying gum there anymore.
If shopkeepers just used their brains, they would realize that it's never good business to point out people's quirky purchases.
Freelance
p.s. Just remembered another similarly annoying incident from my past. I had bought a few chocolates from a Godiva kiosk, and the clerk asked me whether she should put them in a bag or whether it was "a little indulgence you'll be having now" (insert 'wink wink' gesture). Again, she meant no harm, but sheesh.
Last edited by freelancemomma; 08-10-2012 at 02:23 AM.
I haven't worked the till in ages, but back when I did at McDonald's in one of my student jobs, I never really cared. We were all too busy making sure the customer would get his/her food as quickly as possible. The only times when it caught my attention was when the order demanded special care—once, when I was taking orders at the Drive, I had a customer order 25 BigMac menus, which of course weren't ready at all in the kitchen, and so I had to warn my coworkers to 'redirect the manpower' towards getting that completed. But I don't remember ever thinking "whoa, that woman's going on a binge". Rather "they must be having a family party or something". I didn't voice it out loud anyway, we didn't have the time. ^^
When I sometimes get a takeout dessert from the Cheesecake Factory (because I can't handle having more than a single serving of dessert in my house at once!), they always ask if I need silverware. Now, I take pride in saying, yes, I need silverware. Because I am proud to no longer be overweight and no longer embarrassed to admit that I'm going to indulge! Before I started my weight loss journey, I would have been embarrassed and said, no I don't need silverware.
There have definitely been times in the past when I've gone to gas stations to buy binge food and the cashier was starting at me at I roamed the aisles, trying to figure out which sweets would best give me my "fix." I definitely thought the cashier knew I was buying food to binge on.
One time at 1am I was feeling tons of anxiety about a cross country move that I was making to begin graduate school. I didn't want to wake my husband up to talk because he had work in the morning. So (I'm embarrassed to say) I headed off to the local 24 hour Walgreens and bought wayyy more than I should have. The man at the counter commented "wow are you having a party?" Me, embarrassed, decided to make up a story about having a late night study party. The guy then starting asking me about which college I went to and what I studied so I embarked on this huge full blown elaborate lie about my finals and school. Honestly, I should have been flattered that I was thin enough for the cashier to think I was having a party rather than late night snacking. But still it was a pretty uncomfortable experience. At least it was enough peer pressure to ensure that I will never go shopping for late night binges anymore, I'm too self conscious.
To make it worse, I'm living in Israel right now and people here tend to be much more direct and open (read: tactless) about what they say and do. So it's entirely possible to have some idiot in the store commenting on the amount of junk food I'm buying (luckily, that hasn't happened).Tam
HAHAHAHA I love this. I lived in Israel for a year so I know exactly what you are talking about. People there are the nicest people in the world but they are also wayyy too honest and willing to share their opinions. Combine that with the plethora of gorgeous women who live there and it makes you never want to buy junk again.
I always feel guilty when I buy lots of junk food at the store. I've been "out" for the past several months and am just getting back in the saddle. Recently I went to Trader Joe's and got a package of candy, a lemon tart, orange chicken, and other binge items in the same order. I felt like everyone was judging me on what I had chosen for myself.
I am a recovering alcoholic and when I was drinking I would make sure to never go to the same liquor store two days in a row so that no one would know that I was drinking that way every night. Sometimes I would talk about how I was having people over so that they would think I wasn't going to drink all the beer or vodka I had purchased.
I've also been on the other side of the counter. I worked at a drug store and very quickly recognized the regulars who had drinking/eating problems. There was a man who came in daily and bought a quart of vodka and a half gallon of strawberry ice cream. I never judged him, but felt sorry for him and sincerely hoped that he was getting something else to eat other than liquor and ice cream. There was also a very obese disabled man who came in almost daily and bought junk food and soda.
I guess I shouldn't worry about what others are thinking but I should think about why I am still eating junk when I know that it's not good for me and it's also not a socially acceptable way to live. I'm looking forward to being proud of my baskets of healthy vegetables, lean meats and dairy, and fruit.
this reminds me of years ago when I used to work at a clothing store that sold lingerie. Every single time a man bought some he would tell us it wasn't for him. I'd always say "good, it isn't your size"
I've gone into shops before and stocked up on 2 bars of chocolate, crisps, fizzy drinks, jellies and whatever else I could find and be so ashamed and so embarrassed. Sometimes I'd get two of something (like two drinks) so MAYBE, just MAYBE they would think it wasn't just for me.
Other times I'd be going to the shop and I'd say in a whisper but enough for the cashier to hear me "Oh, damn. I forget what so and so wanted" so they also wouldn't think it was all for me.
I know most people aren't even looking, but whenever I'm getting "binge food" I try to get some normal things and sort of hide the junk under them in the cart... then I do the self check out so that the cashiers don't see what I'm getting. I've gotten way too good at this unfortunately... and I always think that if I were a cashier I'd be able to spot other people with eating problems from a mile away, just by the guilty looks on their faces :/
I'd always say "good, it isn't your size"
