Emotional Eating
 

Lately I've been having trouble with hormonal cravings and urges to eat because of stress and emotion in general.

I started a new brand of birth control this month and have been hormonal ever since. I've had PMS symptoms all month and light to heavy spotting everyday. I crave carbs, I'm irritable, I'm weepy... I feel like I'm going insane!

I usually don't have problems with carb/sweets cravings but lately I've been a wreck. A couple nights ago I was having crazy mood swings and kept dipping into my treat stash of protein bars, packs of nuts, and granola bars. I ended up eating about 500 calories worth of granola and protein bars.

I had a job interview this morning and was stressed and lost control of my emotions and cravings. I ate two protein bars and two small granola bars while I was getting ready to leave, just one after another to give my mind something else to focus on. After the interview I was feeling anxious and stressed out so I stopped in a cafe and bought a small cup of gelato. When I got home I made banana 'ice cream' (frozen banana + almond butter) and ate it, then shortly later made no-bake chocolate cookies (almond butter, almonds, raisins, cocoa). I wasn't even hungry, just anxious and stressed. The foods are semi-healthy but I'm GORGING myself on them and can't seem to get enough sweets at the moment. It's only 3 PM and I didn't have a real lunch and I'm already 600 calories over my daily intake...

The binges could've been worse I guess, but I still hate the feeling of losing control and coping with stress through food instead of directly dealing with it. I feel like I'm falling to pieces this month and I'm distraught and disappointed because I was hoping to make my goal weight at my monthly weigh-in, which is in just a couple weeks.

Sorry for the long post and freaking out but I really needed to vent. :(

I hope I'm not overpsychologizing here, but you're so close to your goal weight so I can't help wondering if you're a little anxious about the next phase (because ideally it's forever, which can be scary). Could you be sabotaging yourself a little in order to delay that milestone?

Freelance

I think that could be possible. This month I also joined a gym for the first time ever. I had a great first week at the gym then had a nasty bout of flu for the next week. I'm starting the gym again this week but being incapacitated for a week after just starting was discouraging and frustrating.

I guess it's been a bad combination of everything: the birth control and PMS symptoms, starting at the gym (which I was very anxious about), finances, job hunting and interviews, being close to goal weight but knowing I need to work on my physical fitness even still, etc.

Sometimes I just feel like a big ball of worry. I wish I didn't take it out on food. :( My stomach hurts from eating too much and my head hurts from the stress and excess sugar. In short, I feel like total crap. I guess next time I'm tempted to binge I can remember how bad this feels and hopefully avoid it. :(

Riesz, breathe, breathe. Lie down and meditate till you feel better... You could be sabotaging yourself, you could be taking the wrong pill, your blood sugar may be too high, you could be emotional over something you still cannot see... Lots of things could be happening, but I would say the first thing is stop and breathe, lie down and slow down.
Once you feel better, start over with something healthy, low carb and low fat. Just one meal, eat and stop. And breathe again!
One meal at a time, and think a lot about what you are feeling. Ask your doctor about that pill you are taking.
Tomorrow will be a better day! Good luck!

Let's see...new BC, amped activity levels, life stress...most of those of us with a human side would turn to some kind of vice to deal with all that! Please don't be too hard on yourself, you're undergoing a lot of change now. You are close to goal like freelancemomma mentioned - deadlines don't make or break the fact that you've lost more than a whole person's worth of weight, and one slipup doesn't make you a failure or even really derail your progress!

Riesz

You are not being kind to yourself - you've got too much anxiety at the moment - try and get rid of some of it - maybe you need to change contraception -
the pill always bounced weight on for me

Thanks everyone. Sorry for freaking out so much yesterday. I chalked the day up as a cheat day and started fresh today.

I still have headache and stomachache from eating so much sugar and my tastebuds feel burnt out.

I plan to eat simple foods today and avoid sugar to give my body and taste buds time to recuperate. I still feel so much shame and guilt about yesterday but I guess it's in the past so I should just move on.

I'm just irritated about having these problems with self-control. Time to start improving myself!

You teach us so much, Riesz! I always need to hear that we never fully recover. We need to be aware of that and know that we may slip any minute... To me, working on my emotions is the first step to keep away from bad eating. When something happens that tips my emotional balance, I immediately think of food! Fortunately I learnt to police those thoughts, but your post reminds me that one day it may happen I cannot police them...
Thanks a lot, and good luck in your new stage!

Well, on Sunday I ate a bit of junk but did much better and felt more in control.

I started a new job on Monday and was so busy and excited I had no problem staying on plan and felt so proud about it.

On Tuesday my new bosses brought in pizza, ugh. I brought my little homemade TV dinner of leftovers to eat on my supper break but I still caved and ate 3 pieces of pizza over the course of the evening. The pizza was cold and didn't even taste good but I ate it anyway. I wasn't feeling so confident after that

Yesterday (Wednesday) was my first day off for the week and I had a ton of errands/chores to get through. My day started off great but ended in disaster.

I started TOM on Sunday and am still in the worst of it. Yesterday I woke up, made a nice breakfast of a small bowl of oatmeal and poached eggs on the side. I walked almost 2 miles to the gym and lifted weights, felt good. In the afternoon I walked to a small nearby shop and bought a bag of sugar free candy.

I believe this was part of the trigger point, along with the remaining guilt from the pizza the night before. Walked to the grocery store later and impulsively bought some diet 100 cal muffins that were half off. I also bought a pack of chocolate eggs half off. Very bad idea. I was excited to try the new muffins and had calories to spare for a snack so I ate one on the way home. I ate another almost immediately after, without much thought. Felt guilty about it. When I got home I ate a THIRD muffin and a chocolate egg immediately after it.

I was beginning to get angry with myself by this point and struggled with thoughts of fighting it vs giving up. The decision to give up on the day was winning, sadly.

By evening, I was feeling fatigue from the gym and adjusting to a new job where I'm on my feet for 8 hours straight. My boyfriend and I went on a grocery trip to hit up some sales at a different store. I managed to walk past all the clearance Easter candy while I was with him. We bought healthy food and had a great dinner.

After dinner I was sorting through a box of Easter goodies my mother sent and pulled out a box of granola bars, opened it, and ate one without even thinking. A few minutes later I went back into the box and opened a small bag of yogurt-covered cherries and ate a few. I put them away and tried to tell myself no but ended up finishing them about 10 minutes later, while I was distracted on the computer. After that I ate a few nut clusters from a small bag she sent. Finished that bag about an hour later, too.

I went into the kitchen and ate a spoonful of peanut butter. Went to bed at normal time but couldn't sleep so I got up and ate two 90 cal packs of cookies with a glass of milk, then fixed myself a bowl of cereal. Fixed my breakfast for today and had nips of everything the whole way.

I came back and shamefully logged everything I ate on my calorie tracking website. 2200 excess calories for the day. On top of that, my stomach and head hurt so much I couldn't sleep. I'm going in for an 8 hour shift of climbing ladders, folding clothes, carrying boxes, and being on my feet... on about 2 hours of sleep, with a bloated belly and cloudy mind. I'm trying very hard not to have a complete meltdown but it's a struggle.

I feel so utterly frustrated, defeated, discouraged, disgusted, and angry with myself. Why did all the mistakes yesterday happen? Even though I know it's terrible, why do I keep eating for comfort?

My taste buds feel burnt out again and my tongue hurts. I ate my breakfast this morning but feel nauseated. I really want this to stop, as it's very rapidly turning into the beginnings of depression and self-defeating habits.

Sorry for yet another long rant, I just had to get it all out somewhere. I haven't told my boyfriend (or anyone) yet about this binge. :(

Riesz,

You're going through some stressful times right now and you're looking to find some comfort in food. You say it yourself: you eat without even thinking, you don't eat because you're hungry and it brings no satisfaction. Not only that, but you're feeling frustrated for exceeding your calorie limit. Perhaps once things start to settle in and you adjust to your new job and your gym workouts these spontaneous binges will disappear.

Just hang in there and don't be too hard on yourself, stress can be very difficult to deal with. Next time you feel like eating something you shouldn't be having just remember that you're the one in control, you're the one that makes the choice. Stay strong!