I have found myself in a confusing positive. I'm a 26 year old woman, 5'5” 140 lbs. I was at 130 lbs 6 months ago, but i've slowly but surely gained back 10 lbs of the 100 lbs I lost a year and a half ago.
But I find myself struggling. I am unhappy with my body, I hate seeing girls that have flat abs and I'm stuck with fat and stretch marks on mine, I have loose skin on my arms and around my body. I feel pretty with clothes on, but I feel ugly without them. I know appearances are secondary to health, but it really messes with your motivation when you look in the mirror and realize all the exercise you do you will never have the body you want....
It sucks because I had a big belly (its not a bump its actually big) at 130 lbs and now its even bigger at 140 lbs, I put clothes on that used to fit well and I see the fat squeezed from my tummy, and hips. Whats confusing is that I love being healthy, and fit. I love that I dont get tired when I walk around a lot, I love that I fit into clothes I used to want to fit in. I have been wanting to become a dietitian for a few years now and will finally start FIU after getting my AA.
about 6 months I got tired of seeing people being able to eat what they want whenever they want. That I let go of calorie counting. I still ate healthy, but if I went out and felt like eating something unhealthy, I wouldnt stop myself. There were some weeks where I would spend a day just eating junk food like I used to until I would feel stuffed. While my overall diet wasnt horrible I was eating too many calories.
Im trying to lose the 10 lbs I gained, but i've started resenting calorie counting. But its the only thing that gives me success. I have never been restrictive and denied myself sweets I wanted I just added them to my calories. But I have one and I get this urge to eat the whole bag! its such a horrible feeling, sometimes, i dont feel satisfied until im stuffed and the last cookie is gone. But im sweet obsessed I could eat sweets all day if I wanted too. I can wake up in the morning and have ice cream without a problem. Lol thats the only thing I miss about being fat, the freedom of eating whatever I want whenever I want. Having a bag of oreos and not caring about the calories. Sometimes I want to just enjoy food and not worry so much about the nutritional value. But how can I do that without gaining?
It sounds horrible I know. I was miserable when I was fat. But I cant deny that I love food, I just dont know how to find a balance between being healthy and being able to enjoy some high calorie things every now and then. Some days I think “whats the point?” and I feel tempted to just give up on caring about my health. Right now to lose these 10 lbs im eating 1500 calories and exercising 6 days a week. I started 3 weeks ago again. But like 3 days ago, I got invited to chinese and I ended eating a lot of junk. I realized that I tend to give in when im feeling down.
But its strange when I first started this journey I would be able to say no and feel better about myself. But I got kind of tired of the rules and restrictions and needing to know the calories on things. What can I do so I dont give up on being healthy? And still keep this weight off? I dont want to go back to losing/gaining 100 lbs. Im feeling lost and confused, can someone offer some useful tips? How can I find success? Its not enough to remind myself about my health or look at before and after pics. Once im feeling low the “what the heck!” mentally kicks in.
Don't give up! Do. not. give. up. I guarantee that SO MANY people feel the same way. I sure do! I lost 10 pounds this summer and then stopped losing for about 3 months because I stopped trying and got lazy, and it sounds like you're doing the same thing (no offense intended, just the blunt truth). It's really hard seeing women that you want to look like be able to eat whatever they want and not gain weight when you're not able to do the same. Most of my friends can do that and it's so hard not to do the same when around them.
My advice: cut the junk food completely. I know it's incredibly hard, but I had to do the same thing and I'm finding it a lot easier to avoid it now. Junk food tastes so good that it's hard to stop once you start, even if you've already gone through a whole package of whatever it is. After a day or two of not allowing yourself to binge, it will be so, so much easier. Don't allow room for junk food in your calories - it ends up that you get to eat a lot less for for way more calories, and that sucks. And don't beat yourself up if you go over your calorie count every once in a while. It happens to everyone.
Wow, I got chills reading your post. I seriously could have written every single word of it. My heaviest ever was 194 but I offically started my journey at 184 in January. Got to my lowest of 131 in August. Then I slacked ever since. I started allowing myself "whatever I want to eat" days and started slacking from working out. I slowly, but surely, gained 10 pounds. All in my tummy and thighs. I hate myself for losing my motivation. I'm disgusted at my eating behaviors lately. Like you I started getting back on track about 3 weeks ago but have found myself cheating at least 3x a week. NOT GOOD!
Why on earth do we do this to ourselves? I mean....we know how miserable we were being so overweight and we KNOW how great being thinner feels. So why do we sabatoge?
This response is absolutely useless to you, I know. I'm sorry. I just wanted to let you know you have been heard by someone who completely understands what you are going through. In fact, back in March/April I wrote a post about what I missed about being fat and it was without a doubt not caring what I shoveled in my mouth. Going from very fat to very, very fat didn't bother me as long as I didn't have to care about what was good or bad for me.
hang in there. you are catching it in time, stop it before the 10 lb gain turns into 20, then 30, etc. i've been there done that too many times where i gained ALL my weight back
We play mind games with ourselves. We are very good at it. Every word you wrote, I have said, thought and done before.....perhaps a thousand of more times because I did it for well over 30 years. Yep, lost massive amounts of weight and gave up because I just hated feeling deprived. Hated being obese too. Can't win with that kind of thinking. Been stuck too, because I allowed the mind games to continue, even when I knew I was wasting time stagnating in my weight loss efforts.
Gaining 10 pounds is a warning sign that needs to be heeded. Look at what direction your thinking is heading. The voice of your inner child is throwing a temper tantrum. "everybody else can eat what they want" is absolutely useless. "Everybody" will deal with the eventual health consequences of their choices. A thin body does not automatically mean good health. A fat body does not automatically mean ill health. What the truth is, is that a healthy body is one that is receiving natural and whole foods, getting physically active and plenty of water....NO MATTER WHAT YOUR WEIGHT IS.
So change your direction of thinking. Live healthy because it feels so good. As a dietitian, won't you want to encourage others to eat better? Your attitude and your ability to find solutions in helping people change their diet will influence them one way or the other. Imagine having to count every bite and watch every micro nutrient because of a disease or illness. They don't want to give up favourite foods either....but they will get sicker if they eat as they please. So how would you help them change their thinking?
Now is the time for you to figure this out for yourself....it will help you become an excellent dietician!
Zoseph:
im not sure you are completely understanding. i didnt gain weight out of "laziness" exercise is very important to me, i even exercise when i dont feel well. during the time i gained the weight i was still exercising. so i dont think it was laziness that made me gain weight, but thanks for the encouragement. i know its a good idea to cut out junk, and that worked for me for a year and a half until my head spazzed and i ended up craving it worse than i ever did when i was overweight, the constant no for everything made me resent my healthy lifestyle and its not doing me any good.
ShanIAm:
thanks for the reply, its nice to know im not alone in thsi struggle. you know, im starting to think, it might be our own bodies that try to self sabotage us. ive been reading about the hunger hormone called ghrelin. and when the body doesnt get the calories it needs, the body does whatever it takes to make you gain weight. its losing its precious energy source, even though to us its unnecessary and unhealthy. but to the body it thinks a famine is occuring and its clinging to the fat and trying to get more from you. all i know is when i reached a healthy weight and made the mistake to try and lose more, my body when nuts, i craved things as i have never craved them before. it was an unrelenting hunger, it didnt matter if i was full its like my body wanted more and more. my sister talked to a doctor and he told her that is actually really common to occur. i completely agree though, the one thing i miss about being fat, was being able to eat a box of cookies and not knowing/caring how many calories i was eating at once, probably 1-2 days worth... =(
bellastarr
yes, i have also gained and lost 100 lbs more than once, but i really want this to be a more permanent weightloss, so i want to lose these 10 lbs before i gain more. ive lost 2 of them, but the cravings are still there....
one small bowl
i really admire that you havent given up your efforts to lose weight, even though you have gained and lost weight so mant times. its hard sometimes, the feeling of wanting to give up is so strong. but i thank you for your words, they probably helped me most of all. you're right that voice telling me, to just eat whatever and not care, does sound like a kid throwing a tantrum. its tough though, i can argue with others easily when im offered junkfood, but when my body wants it, its hard to fight my own head telling me its a good idea. but im getting better at it. im hoping i can lose this weight before i go back to my habit of falling into a spiral and gaining all the weight back. im hopinh the experience im having will be useful when i try to help others deal with their own health/weight issues...
Sorry, I didn't mean physical laziness, I meant diet laziness. I should have been more clear. Like you, exercise is important to me and even when I stopped losing weight I was still exercising. I just wasn't putting in the effort to keep eating well and I made excuses about why it was ok to constantly eat unhealthy foods, or I just blocked that voice that said I should stop what I was eating. It's really hard to not eat foods that you love so much, regardless of knowing that you shouldn't
Sorry, I didn't mean physical laziness, I meant diet laziness. I should have been more clear. Like you, exercise is important to me and even when I stopped losing weight I was still exercising. I just wasn't putting in the effort to keep eating well and I made excuses about why it was ok to constantly eat unhealthy foods, or I just blocked that voice that said I should stop what I was eating. It's really hard to not eat foods that you love so much, regardless of knowing that you shouldn't
sorry for being so sensitive. and you're right i havent been careful about my diet. i have a horrible sweet tooth. if i could eat sweets all day id be very happy lol!
but seriously though, i dont know whats with me, i just feel like ive lost my motivation, and im finding it hard to get back on track.
I had a bad summer. I'd try to get back on track, but I couldn't. I'm in my 20s too, it's hard. I see what they eat, and suddenly I couldn't say no to ice cream or pizza or whatever. I hate my body a lot, my stomach makes me ashamed, as it doesn't shrink much. I gained 4 pounds from june-october. I've had to honestly get pretty low emotionally to start to turn things around.
I honestly felt like I couldn't do this anymore. I don't know why, it was harder than when I first started losing weight. I too have a massive sweet tooth - I could eat sweets from morning till night. I don't think of the future anymore, I just tell myself I have to get through toay.
As someone who has lost and gained back 100+ pounds - twice - and is trying one more time, please do not give up. You are only 26, with so much to live for. Deal with this issue now. Don't be like me and hit your 40's still dealing with this problem.
I could have written parts of your posting myself. Even when I was successful in losing weight and was pretty fit, I was still unhappy because I had flab and had to exercise all the time when it seemed like other people didn't.
Unfortunately, that's life. Some people end up drawing the short straws, and some people are born with positive attributes we don't have. Some people are pretty, some are thin, some get promoted into better jobs, some are born into rich families, etc. If you spend the rest trying to measure yourself against others, you will continue to be unhappy. I have spent my time wishing I was someone else, and all of that time has just been wasted. While I am no expert in this subject and certainly haven't practiced what I've preached, I do urge you to be different from me and try not to compare yourself to these perfect ideals. Instead, try to find out what is really GOOD about you - I have no doubt that you are a good person with lots to offer - and accept that there are some things that you won't be able to change.
Do you have access to a counselor or psychologist who might be able to help you work through your feelings of unhappiness? I don't know that people can get over body image issues or feelings of deep unhappiness unless they get some professional assistance. I know I have rambled and probably didn't offer you much, but I do sincerely hope that you continue to push on and try to find self-acceptance.
Its just a minor setback. Remember how you were when you were 100 pounds heavier? You still kept most of that off, and your still eating healthy. Just remember how you use to feel and how you do now? If your eating more and calorie counting isn't really an option for you anymore, then just become more active. Work out or find another activitiy you enjoy doing during the day. Keep moving. The weight will fall back off in no time. Good luck and never get discouraged. You accomplised something amazing. Not many people can lose that amount of weight
Gaining 10 pounds is a signal to go on another diet.
But this time set your goal at 5 pounds less than your former goal.
If you could lose 100 pounds, then you can easily lose 15.
I use LoseIt.com to track my calories. It is easy, free, and draws up all sorts of charts for me.
You have to eat like a skinny person to stay skinny. And skinny people don't eat whole bags of treats.
I bet you look wonderful in all your skinny clothes now. Best of luck to you!
You have failed only when you quit trying.
Until then, you're still in the act of progression.
So, never quit trying and you'll never be a failure.
~ Tommy Kelley ~
@terestrife First and foremost. Wow. 100 pounds? That's magnificent. Seriously. And what's more, you're in here problem solving at the first sign of weight-creep. That's fabulous.
I feel you on this one. Although I'm committed to living healthfully, I found calorie counting too time-consuming and felt that I wanted a more "organic" relationship with food. Have you explored other options for reducing caloric intake? For myself, I found that Intermittent Fasting (clean method to cut calories) combined with the Beck Solution (mental and emotional method to keep from bingeing when I am eating) has been a godsend.
I'd also be interested to learn what others have done, in lieu of calorie tracking, to successfully keep off the weight over the long haul. . .
I want to quote a saying that comes up on this forum from time to time and which I think is someone's tag line. It's to the effect that being fat is hard and being thin is hard, so take your pick.
You are struggling so hard with being overweight that you might want to switch to working hard to lose the weight.
So glad you posted here when you have regained a relatively small amount. You have done wonderfully well in the past, so you do have the knowledge and skills to lose weight. You could look on the gain as a holiday from healthy eating and resolve to get back on track. We all know your struggles and are here to support you. Keep writing to us.
gained 10 lbs tempted to give up
I just wanted to let you know you have been heard by someone who completely understands what you are going through. In fact, back in March/April I wrote a post about what I missed about being fat and it was without a doubt not caring what I shoveled in my mouth. Going from very fat to very, very fat didn't bother me as long as I didn't have to care about what was good or bad for me.
