i've pretty much fallen off the wagon in recent weeks and keep trying to get back on. normally when i diet, i usually try to kick-start it by sticking strictly to the plan for at least the first couple weeks--no cheat foods, no going over on calories, keeping calories low, etc. I figure that's the best way, because you're most motivated in the beginning; then, after a few weeks, when you start to need a break or get burned out, that's when you start throwing in cheat days.

well...that doesn't seem to work for me lately. every time i try to re-start, i get stressed out and just binge, after not even a day!! do you think a better strategy is to start small? for example, eat just 200 calories under maintenance instead of 500 under maintenance? stay there for a couple weeks, then maybe cut calories by another 100? it seems like going this way would be very discouraging...at least the other way, you see results.

not sure...just trying to see what will work best long-term, and keep me from binging.

It's so hard to re-commit when you're denying yourself. At least, it is for me. If I think I'm not going to be able to have something for a long time (it doesn't actually matter what, just something "bad",) I will rebel and will eat whatever I want, whenever I want it.

My new strategy (which has been working for 14 weeks, the most recent 12 being binge free), is to eat less during the weekdays (so that would mean fewer calories), and then let myself have Friday or Saturday night where I'm not thinking about food or what I'm eating and whether it's "bad". I *do* still pay attention to the quantity and I *do* still practice thoughful eating, meaning that I only eat if I'm hungry and actually want whatever it is.

I'm not sure if that will work for you, but it was a revelation for me. That 12 weeks binge free is the longest I've ever gone, and I've been binging since I was 10. The longest period before that was a few days. I'm so much more at peace with my eating habits.

I'm doing something similar to kwyjibo in that my focus is about peace with my eating habits. The strategy that is working for me is to think of food choices as life choices. I avoid calling it a "diet" because for me at least, that word has connotations of being something temporary and unpleasant. The thing that helps me not to binge is focusing on choices. Each bite is a choice. 1 or 2 or 5 bites into a roll of cookie dough (or whatever your food nemesis) when that feeling rolls through. You know the one, shame and embarrassment and self-loathing. Instead of feeling down and helpless and punishing yourself by continuing, just stop! Step away from the cookie dough. Put it down (or in the trash) and walk away. That is a victory. Yay! I stopped after 5 bites! Every time you have a small success it gets easier to have more successes. For me being too strict and using too many numbers or absolutes leads to being overly self-critical, having bad feelings which then leads to self-destructive habits. But that's just me...

I found that if I went at it hardcore in the beginning of a diet, sooner or later I would either get discouraged at slower loss or get so physically/emotionally drained from deprivation that I would snap and go off the plan, never to return until I'd gained another ten pounds above what I'd lost.

This time around--and "this time" has lasted since October 19 with one recent week-long break from counting calories to see if I could scare off my stall (I did )--I dropped my calories to what most guides say will be my maintenance calories at my goal weight. I didn't make any foods off-limits or restrict drastically, instead making small additive changes rather than big subtractive ones. Instead of cutting out dessert, I added vegetables so I was fuller and more satisfied. Instead of cutting out carbohydrates, I added more protein.

Those two things--looking at my diet as a positive process of adding foods instead of cutting foods out and eating a moderate caloric deficit that I find easy to live with instead of a drastic reduction--have taken more weight off than I have ever been able to do on my own before (Jenny Craig took off 72 and it was fast, but...well, I'm here, aren't I? ).

If you've tried kick-starting before and it doesn't work out so well, why not try a more moderate approach this time? You can always change your mind if it doesn't seem to do the trick for you after a month or two; you have nothing to lose but some pounds.

I'm all or nothing in the beginning. If I can make it through the first two weeks, then I can cut myself a little slack.

I guess I did a bit of both... In the beginning, I was strict about what I could eat, but allowed myself extra snacks or whatever as long as it was healthy foods. I cut out fast food and packaged foods, and added LOTS more fruit and veggies. As I got used to that, I started counting calories and keeping track of how much I was eating. I think it makes sense to implement new habits in stages, but to stick to those new rules as you go.

I made teeny tiny changes when I started losing weight, but at that time I had never binged before.

Nowadays I think I would condone competing with yourself to see how long you can go without junk food.

This is so individual.

For me, I had to accept that I could not...nor can I ever really be all-or-nothing. I love starting small, being consistent, and then build it up over time.

This is forever, after all.

Seeing results fast is really not always the best way to do it, if it means that those "fast results" are going to boomerang back in your face when you're overwhelmed and up and just quit.

Starting small is only discouraging if you're setting your expectations too high. We get frustrated when we feel we aren't doing as well as we "should". So the solution isn't always to "do better", but rather to readjust our goals.

Example: If a person who's never exercised expects to run 3 miles every day for a week, they are going to be sorely disappointed when they hurt themselves or can't make it the three miles. They didn't fail... they just didn't have a realistic goal.

If your goal is long-term, then it does not matter how long it takes. Eventually the weight will follow, and as long as you're not binging or overeating, then you've already achieved those goals.

It depends on your personal relationship with food. To me food is like a drug, I wouldn't tell an alcoholic to get sober by having just a few drinks a day.

You dont need to limit yourself if your eating healthy foods. If your eating uhealthy/processed foods- thats what you need to limit. There are SO many possibilities out there (really enjoyable ones). And your body adapts to the changes + than craves it! just like it did with the sugary foods!

So true, shy!!!!! Its thru the withdrawal from these unhealthy foods that we realize we dont really need them, they are only harming us. For awhile you feel like your losing something. But, I can tell you alot of things I use to eat (thats so commericalized) I dont even touch anymore or desire.

I saw a study once where people who started off with strong weight loss in the begining are more likely to stay at it but I really think it depends on what will work for you

Thanks for the advice.

NOTHING is working...even trying to keep my calories to maintenance level isn't working! I think i'm going to try NOT dieting...sort of an intuitive eating approach...and see how that works. I'm going to eat 3 meals a day (more often is just not good, i just keep thinking about food), and eat as much as my body is hungry for, without binging. I'm going to track calories only so i know...and not try to shoot for some pre-set limit. Somehow this doesn't seem like a good formula for losing weight...but maybe it will prevent my brain from rebelling and wanting to binge.

I think the 3 meals idea is a good one. Even if your weight goes up initially, getting out of the "binge" habit is the most important thing.

Really depends. Personally, I go strict knowing that I will be strict forever. Not strict in terms of what I eat, but how much, so even my binges are not nearly the 4000 calorie binges they used to be. If I am lax, then I tend to roller coaster because I am not as hard on myself. I just think-I am not depriving myself of anything. I have gone 21 years without ever tasting Nutella (my binge food)...its not like I am keeping myself from water. Also I think-I am not denying myself anything really, I am just maintaining a normal way of eating-all the skinny people I know do not gorge on food binges-and they are not depriving themselves. So I am not either by choosing to stay away from foods that will always end up being binge foods-esp the binge foods that aren't super tasty.