I just finished a binge about 30 minutes ago. For the first 15 minutes afterward, I had the familiar uncomfortable, shameful feeling, wondering why I keep sabotaging myself like that. Now, however, I'm back here, browsing the forums, feeling like, "Yeah, I just felt absolutely awful and hit bottom, but now things are going to be different! I'm never going to do that again! Success, here I come!" I threw away all the trigger food, and I know, from experience, that the next few days - week will be great.
I'm beginning to wonder if part of the reason I keep binging is because it's one of the only things that "refreshes" my motivation. Having a few days, or a week, or even a few weeks of successful clean, controlled eating (and seeing the results) is of course very pleasurable, but it gets... boring. Tedious. The initial rush of determination and single-minded focus on the task at hand wears off, and the drudgery of a long, slow road sets in. I never stick with it long enough to feel the REAL rush of reaching actual goals, or mini-goals, before I'm back at my old habits. I can only imagine that's an even bigger rush, but I wouldn't know!
I know it isn't the whole story behind my addiction - my biggest problem is that I haven't found a suitable replacement for the on-demand "high" that a binge produces when I'm feeling low. But it certainly could be a part of the reason!
Just wondering if anybody else has had the same experience.
This may sound corny but maybe you should write yourself a letter or just a list of reasons why you should not binge and then read it when you are tempted. Or you could read this post. I know that before I overeat I always minimize the after effects and convince myself that it is ok. Know that you are not alone. There are thousands of people who struggle with this same problem. I would like to hear from someone who has overcome overeating because I certainly have not.
i wouldnt say that ive completely overcome overeating, but i went from binging/purging several times a day to (barely) binging and not purging maybe once a month. honestly im not sure exactly how that switch finally switched last summer, but i think it had something to do with finally accepting that i had to take it slow...and i really have (25lbs in 10 months). that is really my secret to breaking the cycle. i know its a long road ahead, but once you come to terms with that and you dont let the anxiety of everything get to you, youll stop binging all the time...or at least that was my experience. and trust me, those highs of actually reaching your goals are totally worth it. so buckle down for the long hall! we'll be right there with you
A few years ago, I stopped binging. Well, maybe "stopped" isn't the right word since I'm obviously at it again, but I took a very long break from it. I remember it like it was yesterday - I was at my high weight of 218 and it was November 5th 2008. I found an outfit online that I thought was cute at the time, and saw that it did not come in a size anywhere near what would fit me. That day, I said, "Being fat sucks. I'm not going to be fat anymore." And seemingly overnight, I wasn't. I didn't binge - not even once - for over 6 months. I had no interest in binging. I ate well, exercised regularly. I lost 40 pounds. It was, honestly, extremely easy. I didn't struggle with it at all. It was like magic!
Of course, half of the weight came back when the old habits did. I wish I could figure out what caused things to "click" so well that time and get back there! Something about it felt different, and I don't really know how to recapture that.
I'm not aiming for skinny either. I've never been skinny, and I don't think being skinny = looking my best. ****, I'm even most attracted to pudgy people . I looked damn good at 140-160 though, so I'd like to get back in there.
Honestly, I think my metabolism is good. I figure it must be, because sometimes with the way I've eaten (over some LONG periods of time in my life), I think I should be a couple hundred pounds heavier than I am. I'm grateful daily for that. I build and retain muscle easily, and I'm grateful for that too. I like my body's basic shape (even with the fat), and I'm grateful for that too. Thinking about what I'm grateful for helps counteract the things that are real bummers.
I do still have youth on my side, and I often find myself thinking about it in the terms you described - why waste it? If I think too much about that, though, I start getting really bummed out about wasting my younger-youth - like my late teens/early 20s. No point in dwelling on that and letting it ruin the next 10 years, though. I don't feel like youth has imbued me with any special physical resiliency - my rapid weight gain caused my body to look as though I've been through a couple pregnancies, frankly. I'll have no way of knowing whether or not it can "bounce back" to something normal-looking until I get there, I guess!
Predictably, I'm feeling awesome today and having no trouble staying on track. What a roller coaster.
I am totally the same way. I keep thinking back to when i first began this round of weight loss...i had no problem staying on track the first few weeks. I was so determined. But now, several weeks later, i can barely stay on track for a DAY. i keep binging.
Binging... for motivation?
. I looked damn good at 140-160 though, so I'd like to get back in there.
