I can relate to many of the replies here.

When I look back at past binges, they all feel "rushed" like I want to get it over with. Also, I have noticed that when I binged, it was in conjunction with doing something else, like driving, watching TV, or being on the computer. Usually it's watching tv though. They start off with me thinking hmmm, I want to eat something bad, and I GOTTA HAVE IT. I keep thinking gottahaveitgottahaveit. I go to the store and in the process of driving to the store and buying food, it's like I'm not even the same person, like there's a switch in my brain that turned me "off" and I'm not in control of myself.

I don't have feelings of pleasure/serendipity throughout the binge like others have said. I usually just have that exerience within the first few seconds of the first bite. Then it's just munchmunchmunchmunch from there on. I'm gauging my fullness and the amount left in the package. I'm also thinking, hmm, what tastes good with this? Depending on what I have in front of me, I will switch it up, like a bite of chocolate, then bread, then chocolate, etc, even though the food doesn't really go together.

When I'm done with the binge, I feel so mad at myself, and think Why?! WHY!!? Why did I do this again?! I look at the cals I just ate and wonder how long I should restrict myself for doing this, how many cals did I have for the whole day, and sometimes I try to find justification, like it's within daily caloric limits for the day, it's okay. But I still feel guilty underneath it all.

If I have leftovers, I throw it away, to not only hide the evidence from my roomate, who never goes in my room anyways, but I throw it away to hide it from myself so I don't have to smell or look at it in the trash. At this time, I'm just trying to "erase" the memory of it. At this point I just want to sleep it off. The guilt and anger that I feel, and the discomfort from the fullness is too much for me to handle, I just want to sleep away until a new day starts.

I'm really glad this thread is here and that I have been able to share my thoughts on this subject. It's been an ordeal that I have been going through for a good portion of my life, but it has only begun to get out of hand from the begining of this year.

When I started this weight loss journey this January, I realized that bingning is my problem, and I'm really trying to keep it under control. I'm able to exercise just fine, but no exercise in the world will help me unless I can control my eating.

I get anxious pretty often, especially if I am on my own. I'm okay if I just sit with a film or a book, or write some of my story. It's when I talk to people that I get a problem, which is so sad really.

If I have tried to contact someone and can't get through, or sometimes if I receive a text or message that doesn't seem affectionate, I just get into a huge panic that they hate me and they don't want to talk to me any more.

So I stuff myself and the feeling of the food filling me up clogs my anxiety. Eating calms me down. But my trigger foods are sugary and sugar makes me panic more, so more eating is necessary. I can eat myself into oblivion, until the person I'm panicking about contacts me again and I realise everything is fine. Sigh...

usually my thoughts are "its ok, ill just throw it up", or something along those lines. Also another favorite of mine it "this isn't a binge, im just snacking, it's normal" or "all my friends eat this way, so can I"

My other favorite (because I often binge when Im stoned) is "Food will make me sober up by the time my mom gets home"

This is not on the subject , I just wanted to know why you have picked such a negative user name ? Why would you include suicide in your name ? I know it is none of my business but I found it to be quite disturbing.

Same here, exactly. And sometimes, before I even prepare my binge food, I'm telling myself, "This time I'll take just a bite. It won't be a problem. After all, I have to learn how to deal with this like normal people do."

Is there a normal? Doesn't everyone have something they battle? If not food, then sex, gambling, drugs, overspending, etc.?

HAHA! That could have been me!

I was going to pick a user name akin to yours, one that I felt fit me, something like loser, lifesucks, I'mtiredofitall... you get the picture. I started depressing myself worse, so I picked something neutral instead.

When I'm bingeing, there's nothing in my brain. It's totally empty, which might be why I binge. Cause, normally, I'm ALWAYS thinking. Can't turn the damn thing off. Bingeing brings silence. Peace.

Until it's over...Then comes regret and shame.

I think how I won't ever be good enough anyway so I might as well be fat. It's depressing but thats just how I feel. I try so hard and my results are mediocre at best. Some people just have it all, they look good, are healthy, have succesful careers and don't even have to try all that hard. I think about how unfair that is. And than I eat.
And when I realize how much worse that makes me feel it's too late.
It's stupid really.

Kwyjibo, EXACTLY!!! I don't have any thoughts when I binge; it's almost like a trance. When I "come to", I just feel sick about what I did.

I feel really guilty and feel sick to my tummy because I have a goal for summertime and summertime is right around the frickin corner. I'm only setting myself back...not sure why I think I can just crash at the movie theater on Saturday nights. That's a very bad habit of mine and I'm thinking I should just take a big bunch of grapes and strawberries in there with me instead of eating out of Hubby's stash of curly fries and cheese nachos and his large popcorn...sigh.

I feel ashamed. My mind races. I am always thinking that I can't wait to get through my first plate and then my family goes off to do other things so I can "clean" the kitchen. I have always hidden while eating because of being ashamed of how much I am eating. I am of course thinking of how great this tastes and oh can't let this go to waste and if I just put it in the fridge it will go to waste...I should just take care of this now. I have been like this since I was a little girl and I haven't figured out just what caused me to start doing it, other than a not so great family life. It has just been so ingrained in me that even at almost 30 I am still "hiding" from what I have no clue lol. But it certainly helps talking about it. It truly does.

I go through many thoughts. When the binge starts it's you can handle just one more bite, then it's $h*t this is a binge, I wonder how bad it's going to be, then well it's a bad binge, might as well ride it out, finally why so you do this?????why??? You know this going to make you gain ALL the weight back, why can't you stop, why can't you just overeat occassionally like a "normal" person, what's WRONG with you, what emotion are you trying to smoother? And then it's over and I either feel physically sick or just numb, the later always being the goal.

When I would binge, I would think about nothing. Sometimes, I wouldn't even realize it started and I would look down and there would be candy wrappers and bags of chips around me. Then, when I realized what I was doing I would think about how good the food tasted and how good it made me feel at that moment. I didn't care about anything else except for what I could eat next.

I would feel the shame and regret creep up when I started to feel full. Then I would think "Why did I do this to myself? I am probably the ONLY person who does this, this is so gross. I have totally sabotaged my weight loss efforts." Then I would end the session with a giant bowl of cereal + milk.

I would start all over the next day. Not eat much during the day and totally binge at night when I got home from work. I always thought the next day would be the day that I could "control" it, but it never was.

I don't think I think too much too... just sort of numb out...and I eat it really fast too, no real enjoyment then feel like crap afterwords...insanity.

"Why does this feel so good?--Nothing else has felt this good today."

"I hate dieting, it's so unfair--why can't I just be thin like I used to be? Darn those skinny people."

and here's the most deceptive and weird one:

"Thank goodness this food is going to be gone soon, so I can stop eating it. Just one more slice and there won't be any left to eat--so I won't be tempted to binge on it any more. Then I will be able to lose weight, because there won't be any food left." ---uh, yeah...that's logical and productive! Lol.

I usually only binge on one food--and eat it until it's completely gone or I am so full I feel like puking. I usually won't move on to other foods because for some reason, the binge food is the only thing that I must have at that moment--everything else in the world seems unappetizing.

However, if I am craving something, and I eat something with it to fill me up, or take portions of some other food instead of what I really want, then I will just eat extra because I will eat all the other food, but will not be able to stop until I eat all of the craving food too.

I used to be bulimic, so I probably learned some of my binging habits from that. Plus, I tend to binge on foods that were very rare as a kid, like Pizza and home cooking (my mom wasn't much of a cook if you don't count frozen pot pies.)