[jrv3]

I just signed up for this website and have to take the plunge and own my behavior so I can change it.
Things I ate yesterday but didn't want to:
Kit-Kat bar
a beer
bowl of cereal
Pringles
some Valentine candy (that wasn't even good!)
Reeses Peanut Butter cup
a grilled chicken burrito

I want to stop eating things that I don't even want. I turned 50 in October, I am married (17 years) have a 14 year old son with Aspergers that I homeschool and life just seems to be getting harder so I medicate with food. It shouldn't be this hard because life is really not that bad and I am blessed in many ways.

How do I sit down and explain this to a man (my husband) who really is clueless when it comes to anything that comes close to emotions, (you know..chick stuff)..he just doesn't know how to deal with it. I live with him so he has to know and understand what I need to do...doesn't he? Or can I just do this WITHOUT him "getting it"?

[sfree13]

Are you asking whether your husband needs to understand your food issues? It would help, but in my experience, my husband doesn't get it, so I have found other people who understand (women in my life), the pressure associated with eating, the use of food to medicate, etc.

If you really want to change the behavior, you can't rely on anyone but yourself. Not that people can't be supportive, but you are the one who controls what goes into your mouth.

[indiblue]

Welcome, jrv3! It sounds like you have several challenges in your life that you have made the conscious decision to take head on in order to make you healthy. It's a big decision, but an exciting one, and one that many people around here will say is one 'a year from now you will be glad you chose today.'

Hopefully through this website, other sources, and your own determination you can start to use food as a different kind of 'medication' that heals and nourish you, inside and out. You'll start to see your body as something you want to take care of by providing it with good nutrients. It's a transition that comes slowly but it will come.

I'm not married so I wouldn't be the best person to offer specific advice on your relationship with your husband, but wanted to reach out to say welcome, and best of luck on your journey! You have a lot of people already rooting for you on this board

[kuchick]

Welcome! I am a 39 yo stay-at-home mom with a 9 yo son with Asperger's. I also have a 7 yo son (also with symptoms of Asperger's but not diagnosed) and a 4 yo daughter. I understand all of the demands you are dealing with, and I also had to conquer the stress eating and sometimes the boredom eating. Every time I found myself wandering into the kitchen, I had to ask myself - "Am I really hungry?". If my son had a bad day at school (I am considering home-schooling but the school looks at it as me "giving up" on them and on my son - I am better prepared to school him myself than they are since his biggest trigger is SCHOOL! but they think that the social aspect of school is something he needs - but that's a whole other rant) I come here to vent before I go grab some food. That's usually enough to stop me before I stress eat.

As far as DH understanding stress eating - mine has never understood. He also has symptoms of Asperger's but it was rarely (if ever!) diagnosed when we were little. He supports me in my decision to cook more and cook healthier. I measure everything I eat and it has been suprisingly easier than I had imagined. It's such a routine now that I don't even notice how big of a change this has been from where I was 14 months ago - I made multiple gradual changes.

Welcome again and good luck!

[thelast20]

You need to take time for yourself and if your hubby doesn't deal with emotions then at least have him be responsible for other things at home while you take time OUT!!! Have him cook dinner or laundry, whatever you decide while you go for walks or join the gym or a book club. Anything that takes you out and away from the daily stresses. Does your local school have a Special Ed department that could have your son qualify to be have the special services there? I am a school counselor and we have many Asperger children, identified and not identified taught there. The ones identified have special services and do quite well with them. Just a thought! But take time for yourself. I have to tell my husband this is what my meal plan is so don't buy me chocolates...or I need for the burgers to be made without fillers. He doesn't always get it either but he goes along with my wishes. It didn't happen overnight either...its taken years!! Hang in there.

[ArtyKay]

You know...the husband thing could go either way.

For me, it's helped to tell my husband what I'm doing. It keeps me accountable. But, I only told him I'm trying to lose weight...I'm not going to tell him about my binge problem.

I haven't binged since I told him I'm trying to lose weight.

[IWantToBelieve]

I know the feeling. I just joined this website just to have somewhere to vent. I have had "weight issues" my whole life but they've gotten unbearable in the last 2-3 years. I'm trying to take care of it now while I still have some time to be young and frivolous(I'm 21 now.) Not binging would help me a lot. I'm going to try and go 7 days without getting close to binging.