Don't feel so bad. Yesterday morning I drove myself to a donut shop at 4:30 AM and ordered one glazed donut. I ate it then practically broke down in tears. Now my husband is looking at me suspiciously and asking if I am eating donuts when I am in town. I had a really bad moment, but now it has passed. Oddly enough, the donut didn't taste as good as I remember it so I think I killed that craving just by eating it. Don't give up, it's hard but we have to work through our bad times.

I picked up on the mention "the last time I have to lose weight".

I wonder how many times in my life I have thought that thought. Seems innocent enough, even sounds plausible. I even want to believe that this is my last ever diet and I will never have to lose weight ever again. Oh, I can laugh about that. How my mind loves to play the same old tapes in my head.

Weight management is a moment to moment, day to day, year after year process. It cannot be ruined by one bite, one meal. It cannot be corrected by one bite, one meal. It is the sum total of all our eating decisions. True success is understanding that it is a process that constantly flows by our minute to minute decisions. it is ALWAYS a choice.

For me, I had to connect a lot of dots that prevented me from staying on my diet and how I think of it. The more I found myself feeling restricted or resentful or guilty for eating more than I needed...the more I realized how I kept myself locked up in an endless loop of pointless thinking. Same old tapes...playing over and over again for way too many years.

The reality is this: If I want to take the weight off and remain a normal weight, I have to eat a certain way, chose certain foods for health, by pass certain foods that are not healthy for me and learn to embrace life instead of indulging in self pity that I have to eat different than "everyone" else. I have to do this ALL THE TIME, it is my lifeline.

Medifast, or any other diet plan only 'works' if you follow it. In reality, weight loss is about a lifestyle change---people put too much emphasis on the diet, diets can become scape-goats for people because they can blame the diet for failing vs. realizing they the power and control to choose what foods to eat.

A bit off-topic, but basically, my point is, there is no bad food, there are only unbalanced food choices. Every food (even ones like greasy burgers) are OK in moderation. It is really hard to learn moderation (I'm still working on it, as I still feel guilty when I eat cookies or burgers, for example), but it is really true. When we restrict, we set ourselves up for failure. When I can learn to look at a cookie as just a cookie and know that i could have one every single day if I kept the portion small, it takes a lot of the power away from the cookie.

Sorry if this is a rant

yes, i know....i am always telling my husband it is about moderation and life change, i can't tell myself i 100% can't have something, but i absolutely can tell myself that i can only have healthy versions of certain things......what i meant by never having to lose weight again (cause i have told myself this last time i lost 100lbs) is that i won't ever gain back the 145 lbs i am going to lose....i am not about to say i am *trying* to lose it....i have to talk like i know i am, cause..i know that i am going to lose the weight ! and i know that once it is gone, there may be times i eat food that isn't a normal everyday type of food...there may even be times my weight fluctuates..of course....these things are normal.....i was just posting about feeling crummy that moment for eating that fast food burger...and i for one, would very much like to kick all fast food out of my lifestyle diet for good...it is just plain not good for you(not giving up fries !!!!! heheh)..just make my own healthier versions of the stuff fast food has, but to go to these places..yuck ! ...it's like i am fighting with myself in these situations, cause i know how bad it is for your life and i still do it..i can't blame anyone but myself, but my husband is certainly NOT making it easy for me to not feel tempted by empty food...i need to be less lazy and just pull out my own grill and make me some turkey burgers ! heheh.... and i am mainly after health/longevity and completely changing my entire life..more than just my weight, so i don't want to just lower my calories and still eat within my boundaries being indiscriminate about the foods i do choose to eat....which is why i was upset in the first place, i know better than to be going out to get a big greasy burger during the first several weeks of really getting into this weight loss stuff.....if it were months down the line and i had already lost a significant amount...i would have been much less upset....but i need to be more strict in the beginning in order to adjust, and then later if i feel like it be a little more lenient....but my adjustment has to also include adjusting to healthier versions of these greasy, fat/cholesterol/additive and hormone filled atrocities served down the street at 2am....i need to respect my body better than that if i am going to reach my personal goals, which again, includes more than just weight loss....and i am -not- saying this is the same for everyone and that people who do eat fast food are making wrong choices or whatever, i just mean those choices are wrong for me...we have different goals, and mine just don't include fast food..

of course, one slip up is fine.....****, so is two......i'll just take them as i go and post here when i need to....you all are very helpful and supportive .....in any other weight loss forum i have posted in this has been BY FAR the move responsive and friendly..welcoming..etc....only been signed up for a few days and already fill so accepted THANKS !! ...i hope i can be so helpful one day....maybe even an inspiration ?? .....that would be pretty amazing


GAH...i wrote so much !!!!