Hello all,...

I must admit it that sweets are my friends..I am 44 yrs old and don't have off line friends. Am home daily, 24/7 on some days doing grocery shopping. I even give into my sweets craving and its hinder my efforts. I can't break this vicious cycle. I don't have outside help or my mental health clinic to help me control my poor obession with sweets. I eat sweets and those calories goes higher and don't know what to do. I try eating more fruits..but does not help and snack on boxes/bags of candies/cakes. I loose control.

I live with my family, and am the only one is heavy set in my household and while I try and do my best on being good and watched my mother, sisters snacking on sweets.. I joined them and hard to say NO. I even try many efforts on saying NO and do something else, but always getting major sweet cravings that I give in.

Its a daily struggle and starting to loose hope. Been on this weight loss journey since I was a kid.

Is there any hope for me on getting in shape? I am in my wits ends and also dealing with hormonal disorder and am just sick and tired on fighting and not getting anywhere with my efforts.

Thank you for letting me vent...

I'm so sorry, Liliann. It must be a lot to deal with, and I know it can't be easy. At least you have your online friends here at 3FC - we are here to encourage you and cheer you on and tell you that you can do it!

Is there any way your family could get on board with helping you - maybe by not buyng the cakes and candies? It's a lot easier to say no when those sugary items are not in the house.

It makes me very sad to hear you don't have outside help -- a doctor should be helping you every step of the way.

Even with all your obstacles, please don't give up! Stay on your journey to better health - you can do it!

What's your hormonal disorder?

Honestly fruit just triggers more cravings for me, but eating more protein and veggies is what helps. When I eat at least half my plate is vegetables, the rest is protein, I stay away from potatoes, rice, pasta and bread. I do not eat much fruit (If I do it's low carb fruit like berries) because it also triggers cravings. I have PCOS and I've had to learn that this is just how I have to eat if I want to lose weight and be healthy.

I would also suggest staying away from the family when they are eating sweets, and maybe look into some books about food addiction, they can really help.

Also- get out more. You say you are at home all day? Then join a gym and go before or after work, do your best to stay out of the house and when you are home stay out of the kitchen.

You just have to put in the hard work and stick with it. There are days I literally have to push myself away from the bad sweets and there are times I have to practically yell at myself to work out- but when I do I feel good and when I skip the donuts or bagels at the office I'm proud of myself afterwards.

Good luck.

There is always hope. Always.

I empathize with you on the lack of medical/professional help. Those of us without insurance just don't have the wherewithal for preventive care, so we have to take care of ourselves as well as possible. It's tougher, no doubt about it--but it's doable. There are a lot of people here who can attest to that. And as for those who do have luxuries like regular medical care, personal trainers, home gyms, and so forth--well, they have it hard too (look at the struggles Oprah's had, and she has more money than most sovereign nations ).

One tip that I learned here was to consider other food in the house "their" food. It may be within my reach, but it isn't mine; therefore I will not take it any more than I would go into my husband's wallet and take money from him. That's his. If necessary, I ask him to reinforce it by putting junkier stuff out of my sight. Your family should be willing to help you out with that. And even if they aren't carrying extra weight, they would benefit from eating more nutrient-dense foods instead of empty calories too, so if you're the one who does the shopping, maybe you can help the household out with better choices.

In other words, if you bring them yogurt and they still want ice cream, then they should have to get it themselves.

I don't have in-person friends at the moment, either, aside from my husband and my family. One day you have a big circle of friends, then this one moves away or that one loses touch or...well, next thing you know, you don't have anyone within spitting distance. That goes double if you work from home. Sometimes it's a bit lonely, yes, but there's also a lot said for enjoying your own company and for being close with your family.

If you were alone in the universe or if you were surrounded with legions of admirers, though, there is one certain truth: sweets are not your friends. Would you want a friend who held you back from doing things you wanted to do, made you happy only fleetingly at the cost of hours of guilt or sadness, even caused you pain or illness? These insidious "friends" make your life harder the more of them you see, yet seeing them makes you want to see them more. They're constantly loitering around your house, making it hard to avoid them. Your life would be richer without them in it than it is with them.

If we were talking about people, that'd be one toxic relationship. Sweets aren't friends. Sweets are utter jerks.

You do have the strength to break it off with these crappy "friends" who treat you so poorly. As with any break-up, time and distance help. If your family won't cooperate, distance might be hard to achieve, but time? Yeah, you can do that. You can keep making the progress you've made, and every day that you remain sweet-free will likely make it easier to say no to them in the future.

I wish you all possible success. Think of all you've learned from your previous attempts and use that internal library of data to help you now. You have all that at your disposal plus all the support there is here from 3FC.

You can SO do this.

Are you planning your day ahead of time?

My quickest path to going off plan is not having thought things through and making a choice because it's quick and easy, not because it's what I should be having.

It might be easier to stay on plan if you have your entire day of calories (points, exchanges, whatever) planned out and when you get a craving you can look at the sheet and say "ok, can I wait for another 30 minutes until I can have XYZ as a snack?".

You'll also have to experiment and find out if you do better completely eliminating as many sweets from your environment as possible, or carefully planning small treats.

I feel better and can better avoid temptations if I can look forward to a carefully planned treat. One of my girlfriends just can't have sweets around at all or it triggers her and leads to a binge.

Have you been explicit with your family asking for their help in making better food choices and avoiding the sweets? One of the biggest things I learned in therapy was to very specifically ask for the things I want/need -- often people in my life weren't meeting my needs not because they were unhelpful, selfish or ignorant, but because the problem/need wasn't as clear as I thought it was.

Once I was able to very explicitly point out what I wanted and how they could help, I got much better support.

Thank you all for your kind responses. Am grateful..and just taking day by day..Hoping on asking my medical doctor for help next month.. Again, Thank you.

Liliann, sweets were a huge temptation for me, also. I am finding that eating 5-6 small meals a day (always some protein with a complex carb) and drinking TONS of water - I mean literally ALWAYS having water right next to me, has totally eliminated my sweet cravings. If someone were to have told me this would be the case, I would have said they were crazy.

It must be difficult for you if you live with others who keep sweets around and are frequently eating them. Can you get out of the house more - join a gym or go to a nearby mall where you can walk? Perhaps being in a different atmosphere where you are not inside the same 4 walls obsessing over the sweets will help.

Good luck!

I have the same problem, my husband's really fit and thin...he doesn't even try! And he eats such crappy food...it's hard not to follow his habits.

So when I shop, or when he shops, I always get hubby-food and me-food.

It's so sweet...last time he came back from the store he bought bread, pasta, and cookies for him...and cottage cheese and yogurt for me.

But I had to tell him "Hey, I'm trying to eat diet/health food." I'm sure your family will support you in your decision to be healthier!

It's harder that his crap is in the house, but at least there are plenty of healthy options for me. the more options I have and the more convenient I make them, (like pre cutting veggies and lettuce and fruit, pre portioning stuff out) the easier it is to avoid the bad, fatty foods.

I know this is MUCH MUCH easier said than done, but...if you can manage to go off sugar (including fake sugar), after a couple of weeks your cravings will be GONE. It's a wonderfully liberating feeling!

Again, easier said than done But it's the only way that I've been able to control myself around sweets.

I dunno...there's some things I go months without, and I always have cravings. the cravings do get better with time though. Also, the longer I go without eating my trigger foods, the worse they taste when I finally do eat them.

Mine is chinese, and every time I slip up and get it, I find myself thinking "This doesn't taste near as good as I thought it would...it's totally not worth it."

Another thought, take your favorite things (the ones you get the worst cravings for) and print out or write down the nutritional information. emphasis on calories and fat content per serving, and how much equals a serving. keep this info handy, write yourself little notes and warnings. You may still want it, but at least you'll have too look at how bad it is.

It really really isn't worth it! I think that's the hardest lesson in self control...I'm still learning it.

As others have said, protein and vegetables are your friends. Sweets are really your enemy. They are like that old Lays potato chip commercial "bet you can't eat just one"!!!! Many many women have a problem with sweets. You are not alone. I tell people I CAN'T eat sweets and they assume I am diabetic and then they never bug me about eating the treats they bring in or the dessert they want to share after a meal. It is truly much easier if you can go off sugar and even all processed white carbs for a period to simmer down the cravings. Trust me- I know about your head racing back and forth and not being able to concentrate because you do not just want some- it feels like you "need" it. Scary but you can get over it though it takes constant vigilance. Good luck!

Lillann, I can definitely relate to all the issues you mentioned-sgar cravings, loneliness and feeling out of control and hopeless. I wanted to share a few things that have helped me.For one, writing down everything I eat keeps me aware of whatever I am putting into my mouth. Also not bringing anything into the house that I am tempted to eat(this may be difficult with others living with you but maybe you can enlist their help by asking them to keep their snacks out of the kitchen somehow).I also agree with the person who posted that after a few weeks the cravings do lessen. As for feeling hopeless, please read alot of the things people on this board have posted about feeling the same way at some point-and then loosing immense amounts of weight. You have already lost 21 pounds-so that is a fantastic beginning. Sending you good wishes in your journey.

Thank you all..I do keep a food log and doing my best on eating those forbidden treats in moderation..For some strange reasons loose self control , but a wake up call when seeing those in my notebook and those high calories..its not worth it!!

Have to give up all sugar, coffee and diet coke..and focusing on more drinking water habit. Am a caregiver and my family hides the junk foods..and eating them when am not around. I must learn on Saying NO. This path am dealing is not easy, always a bumpy road in this destiny.

Again, Thank you for the encoruagements...

Liliann, I can empathize with a lot of what you wrote. I am just coming to terms with the fact that I cannot eat sugar even in moderation (cookies in particular are my downfall).

I'm a SAHM and am constantly tempted by all the treats in the house. For years (pre-marriage/children) I coped with my sugar addiction because I never kept it in the house. It's so much harder when there are constant temptations.

Nola Celeste's post really resonates with me. "Sweets are not our friends!" I feel lonely a lot of the time (I rarely have adult company outside my immediate family) and I turn to sweets for comfort. Yet I am going to make a renewed effort to avoid sugar/sweets like the plague!!

"Just say no!" LOL

(P.S. I recently gave up Diet Coke that kept me addicted to sugar -- in the "cycle"-- and I 've found that after a couple of days I could cope without the DC and crave sweets less.).