[growing wings]

Hey all, I need some advice. I struggle with binging usually about once a month. I used to buy entire packs of cupcakes, cans of icing, cookie cakes, cookies and eat the entire thing in one sitting. I don't do it as much but it is still a struggle.

Now, my big problem is my husband. He does not know about my binging as I do the usual thing and hide it from him. I have been really struggling with depression recently and his favourite thing to do to help cheer me up is to buy me food. All the stuff that I struggle with binging on. I know his heart is in the right place, but it kills me when he brings that stuff home. We are both trying to get healthier and workout and having this in the house is just not a good idea, aside from my personal struggles.

How do I ask him to stop, without hurting his feelings. I know he is just trying to make me feel better.

Thanks in advance for any advice!

[Nola Celeste]

How about, "I really love that you were thinking of me when you bought me this; you're so thoughtful! How about we treat ourselves to something we can both enjoy tomorrow/this weekend/later tonight?" Then suggest a trip to the zoo, a walk in the park, a couples massage at a spa, a *cough* couples massage at home ifyaknowwhatImean --whatever activity you both might enjoy. Exercise is good for easing depression, it'll help you with your weight/health goals, and it's often more fun if done together--total win/win.

Do you feel that if you told him about them, he would be unsympathetic or just not understand your binges? It might be very freeing to you and meaningful to him to open up to him about them, and it would certainly solve the food-gift issue.

[stargzr]

I know how you feel... when I'm in a sad/bad mood my husband likes to buy me foods I like as well. We're both also trying to get healthier so he knows that I shouldn't have whatever it is, but he's just trying to make me happy - just as your husband is for you. Maybe thank him next time he does it, then tell him something like - It always puts a smile on my face when you... (insert something he does that you LOVE here). He will get the hint, though it might take a couple of different suggestions. =)

[beerab]

Just be honest, sit him down, tell him the TRUTH about how you've hidden your binging and that it's just making you more depressed and that while you know he means well and love him, him bringing food to you just makes you feel bad about yourself after you've eaten it. Ask him to please not bring you food but then at the same time tell him other things that would cheer you up- small things, like hugs, kisses, little notes that say "I love you," etc.

When I was down my husband (who knows food isn't gonna cheer me up) gave me a card and wrote in it that while he can't stop bad things from happening but he'll always be there for me and we'll get through things together. I tell you that card made me cry and feel so good- I still have it above my desk at work