Just Reflecting-Lasagna WAS my turning point!
I'm making lasagna tonight for supper, and it's made me think. I've got the meat one in the oven for my hubby and four kids, and I am about to put the veggie one in for myself - of course they help eat that one too! My veggie lasagna is the Roman one- no ricotta cheese (ewww) and it is 2.25 pounds in weight. Lasagna was my turning point. About 4 years ago, I remember making lasagna (I ate it about once a week), sitting down and going for my final and last serving- my 2.25 pounds of lasagna was now gone, all down MY throat!!!! I remember how I felt. Disgusted, ashamed. What has happened to me that I regularly eat 2.25 pounds of lasagna in one sitting I thought??!! The next morning I hopped on the scale ~again~ 203 pounds. I sat down on my bed and cried in shame. My life had to change! What have I done. I've watched my weight creep up, day by day, week, by week, month by month, year by year and still it didn't seem to register that I WAS FAT!!!! Until that day that is. I stood up, peeled off all of my clothes and took a good look in the mirror. Please keep in mind that I have always looked into the mirror, but never seen myself as fat- until that day! I pinched my gut, looked at my cheeks and for the first time saw the real me, the double chin, the way I still tried to squeeze into my clothes that I kept outgrowing, my last pair of jeans I bought was a size 17, I looked at the tag as I went to put them on, they were tight too!!!!! That was my beginning of my weight loss journey, which I am still conquering. Now I weigh 127 and still see myself as fat. Somedays I think I am too critical of me now, but maybe I have to be, so I never go back blindly into that category of being overweight-probably obese. Tonight I am going to eat lasagna. It is my third time this year eating it. I'm about to put 2.25 pounds of veggie lasagna in the oven. Tonight, I have control. I will still eat a large portion, I know this. I will still be in my caloric range for the day however. My portion will be about one third of the 2.25 pounds 0.75 pounds maximum. Maybe a tad bit less, but no more. I will eat some tomorrow for lunch too, not as big however. Tonight, I will eat it slowly and enjoy every morsel, still feel some guilt, but know, I am no longer out of control. I HAVE what it takes. I can TELL when I am FULL now and it does not take me 2.25 pounds of terrible, terrible but delicious lasagna to feel that way.
Last edited by Crystalx5; 11-23-2010 at 03:55 PM.
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