Hi ladies. I'm coming to you with my tail between my legs. I think I just need to vent, get it out in type you know? Plus, I know you all will understand. I live with an iron god, who can eat fried foods all day and still look stunning He doesn't understand at all. He is a wonderful husband and father, but sucks in the dinner department.

I have been binging really badly. I am so ashamed when I eat. I have regressed to the level I was in high school. I was eating in the bathroom crying today. I have thoughts about eating nothing but carrots with mustard. I know this isn't healthy, and it's causing me a lot of stress. Then when I get on the scale, I see my "progress" of gaining what I lost last week and get even more upset at myself.

I know tomorrow is another day, and I have to stay dedicated. I just had to get on here and post and read some posts to keep me from raiding the fridge or running out in the middle of the night for the drive thru.

Sometimes I wonder if I have a medical problem. If my brain is wired wrong. I know it's fine, and I just need to focus. I just need a little encouragement and to know I'm not alone.

kriket - you are absolutely not alone!!! i am glad you feel you can vent to us... it is important that you have somewhere safe to let it all out and we are all listening!

start with little steps, take it one day at a time, even one hour at a time... that is where i find myself again... i am earning day 5 and i know tonight i will have to take it one hour at a time from dinner until bedtime... i also know that i have had months where i was binge free so it is achievable for me... and for anyone else... it was actually getting 'easy' to avoid binging for a while there and i remember how amazing i felt... i want to feel that way again... i know you can too!

may i suggest you 'confess' you binges to your husband...even if he doesnt understand at least you are not hiding? it might help you to feel more empowered? i know i have been telling my new bf when/if i am having food issues and he is starting to understand a bit more... (of course, he could loose some weight too so not the same situation as you are in now... my exhusband was more like yours and he, eventually, understood...but i had to open up to him a lot)

no matter how you choose to handle this, take it by the horns and handle it! we are here for you!

Hi Kriket!

Don't feel bad. We're all glad you're here. I am a binger too. I am currently working on my 4th day. So I understand where you're coming from.

Momof2 has a great idea about opening up to your husband about your food stuff. I know it seems so hard and you could feel so vulnerable but I'm sure that he will listen to you with love and try to understand. Sometimes we have to explain what we need in order for others to help us.

Whatever you decide to do, keep coming here and you will always find a shoulder to lean on.

I am so sorry you were going through that. I totally understand how you feel it is definitely a struggle we sometimes have to deal with everyday.

Your post bought tears to my eyes b/c I've been there and know how dark it can be and feeling like something is medically wrong. How can food have such a hold on us that we just give in? I don't know the answer but I am so glad this board exist with others like us so we can lean on each other and seek the answer together.

You are not alone! Whenever you feel that urge to binge come on the board and read something motivating. It's going to always work but sometimes is better then not at all. For me I have to take it minute by minute, everyday I get through without binging is a blessing.

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

thanks ladies. I think I will talk to my husband. I mentioned the other day to him that I was a binger. I don't think he realizes what exactly that means.
We were watching TV and something came on about a medical study for bingers who consume over 1500 calories in a binge. He said something about how that isn't possible. I did tell him that once, I added up a single binge (it was a big one) and it was upwards of 3500 calories in about an hour. He didn't really say anything, just thought about it. It will be hard to talk about it to a real person, but I know he will listen.

Hi kriket, thanks for sharing. I know how you feel about the hubby, mine is like that too. He can eat and eat and not gain weight and then if he decides he wants to get fit he can tone up in weeks while I struggle for months to loose 10 pounds. I used to binge really badly. I know exactly how you feel about being embarrassed when you eat. I feel really good having people to talk to on this board who understand. It also makes me feel more accountable and not want to binge. I definitely agree that if you can talk to your husband you will probably feel better about it. I finally had to explain to mine how hard it was to have that bad food in the house and watch him eat it and he was super supportive and tries to eat more healthy with me.