[tinycities]

Thank you for sharing your experiences. Whilst you may be just starting to get to grips with tackling your binge eating, it sounds like you are incredibly self-aware, and I think that's a huge positive step. I think people have already given some really great, compassionate advice in this thread, but I also just have a couple of small things to add that may help you, as they helped me.

Firstly, I always write a list when I go grocery shopping. I buy only what is on the list, and nothing more. It means that I find it way easier to control what I buy, and don't find myself lured in by offers on big bags of crisps or biscuits. It also means I save money! This way, if you feel like it, you can also plan in a treat if you fancy it (e.g., a packet of crisps, an ice lolly, etc). But you can buy those things in a more controlled way when you've thought about it beforehand, and planned when you want to eat it (e.g., save it for a particular occasion).

Secondly, I find actually pausing just for a matter of seconds and looking at the food I'm about to eat really helps, if I'm about to binge. I found it very hard to do this initially, but often I get to the stage where I've grabbed some bread out, grabbed a knife and some butter, and then I stop and I force myself to think "do I really want this?" and "am I actually hungry?" and "if someone saw me eating this, would I feel ashamed or embarrassed?". Usually those sort of thoughts help me decide whether I actually want to eat what I'm about to indulge in, and 9 times out of 10, I decide not to eat. Bread used to be my real weakness, when I was a teenager and home alone after school before anyone else got in, I used to toast four slices, put a huge load of butter in the microwave, melt it and spread it over the toast. It makes me feel pretty sad at the way I treated my body, but also it makes me feel good and stronger to reflect upon that now, because I can't remember the last time I did that - years and years ago.

Thirdly, I found this is a sort of continuation of the second point, but just listening to my body helped, particularly in the early stages when I was still binging fairly regularly. I'd really pay attention to the bodily sensations I had (e.g., unpleasant taste in my mouth, uncomfortable feeling of satiety, etc.), particularly after a binge, as well as the mental symptoms, and I'd write them down. I'd also focus on the bodily and mental sensations I'd have after not binging. This really helped me to break habits and reflect more on the process, which I think really helped me get things under control.

Wishing you all the best with your plan!

[marielenrdz]

I'm currently reading "Women Food and God". It's a good read and deals with the real reasons why we binge. As we all know, it's never about the food or the self control. We use food to run from something the way an alcoholic uses liquor to self medicate. At some point, we need to confront our inner demons and learn to love ourselves and trust our own bodies. I'm not there yet, hence the bag of vanilla wafers I wolfed down while reading!

[Mandaloef]

I'm currently trying to end my own binging problem as well. Tomorrow will make one whole week of being binge free for me and considering that I used to binge every night before bed, that's a big accomplishment. I cannot stress how helpful it has been for me to pack healthy snacks into a snack bag and use it in place of my usual binge foods. I live with my aunt, my uncle, my daughter, and my husband and there are constantly foods of temptation laying around (Donuts are my downfall). So what I have been doing is making a snack bag in the mornings that contains popcorn mixed with 1/2 serving of gold fish crackers, carrots, apples, wasa crisps, laughing cow cheese, and for my chocolate cravings those peanut butter FiberOne bars. I completely avoid the kitchen unless I'm making an actual meal and instead put my snack bag in another room so I don't begin to wander around the kitchen aimlessly when I'm hungry. Since I love carbs, today I made 1 point (I'm on weight watchers) banana muffins to ad to my snack bag. The best part is that I can eat everything in my snack bag either spread throughout the day or in one sitting because I plan for it. I don't know if this would be helpful for you but it has helped me. Also, you said that you have issues when you go grocery shopping. Are you going to the store while your hungry? Try eating a healthy snack before you get to the store. I know if I'm starving before I go in the store I'll make choices that aren't so good for me. I hope this may help! Good luck!

[Cglasscock1]

You have gotten some great advice from the ladies above. You came to the right place for help and support.
I noticed that you listed stress as "a killer." Stress can literally be a killer if we are not able to take care of ourselves because stress is too overpowering. No one escapes stress in life, however, perhaps you should really take a look at dealing with it differently. If you cannot change it (i.e., change jobs or leave a bad relationship) then you can get counseling to help you learn ways to better cope with it.
I would urge you to take control of the stress because it is now controlling you by causing the binging. This is the root of your problem. If you can lower or control your stress response, it will help you change your relationship with food. Good luck!

[ladycarbivore]

Well I've managed to get through 2 days with no bingeing and eating healthily. I have realised that I wasn't eating enough during the day, and coming home so famished that I'd eat whatever was in my midst. Making sure I eat 6 small meals a day really has helped me feel satisfied the majority of the time, and doesn't lead me to stopping at the store on the way home to buy junk because I feel weak and low energy.

I thank everyone who has responded to this thread, and I will continue to post my successes and failures with my extreme bingeing.

I really hope that I can put this rut behind me and get back into the place I was a few months ago when I was at the lowest weight I had been since I was 22. I'll never forget the day my old jeans fit me again, they've sat in my closet for years and earlier in the year I was able to wear them again. I need to get back there again, and continue on until I reach my goal weight.

Cheers to all.

[Mandaloef]

Congratulations on getting through the last couple of days! That's a big accomplishment. Just take one day at a time. If you mess up one day, don't get frustrated, just get back on track.

[hope for recovery]

Well done on your progress, it is funny but actually this morning I was thinking about the same - that binge eating is cured by eating... since i began to have a filling breakfast and proper meals during the day, i feel less urges to midnight snack and i love it! Well done!

Thank you for the advices above as well, I do too much shopping and I should maybe start writing a list as well. I also try to stop and look for a sec at what I am eating, what I am shopping, what I am thinking and it works for me! Cheers!

[ladycarbivore]

Day 3 almost complete!

Today I calculated how much money I spent of food for the month of July, and was shocked to see that I spent over $600 of food! That is really scary, mostly because I live alone.

Generally I spend up to $300, so I had doubled my grocery bill.

I recommend anyone who has a bingeing problem to tabulate their expenditures and take note of any fluctuations.

It definitely was a shocker but I need that reality check to keep me from slipping.

[ladycarbivore]

Today I completely blew it.

Another binge, couldn't even get through 7 full days. I feel terrible, so angry with myself. I knew exactly what I was doing, planned it out...weighed all my options even but still chose the wrong path.

I plan on doing a 2 day cleanse this weekend to counteract any weight I might gain from today's mishap. That means 2 whole days with no food, just ingesting fluids every 4 hours. It will be very difficult.

I feel like I'm on a slippery slope and losing my grip. I wish I had a close friend I could call and spend time with but no such luck.

I hope I can move forward.

[skygirl]

Originally Posted by ladycarbivore

it's scary how much I can pack away in one sitting. I want to stop so bad, I need to reach my weight loss goal but I am having such a hard time.

I am desparate to change this, for my health and longevity...but I don't know how. I was doing so well for months on end, but each time I slip back into this rut it gets harder and harder to climb out.

I can relate to this.

Originally Posted by motivated chickie

I feel your pain. I've done extreme binges too where I eat so much, I can't breathe.

And to this.

Originally Posted by marielenrdz

It's an ongoing battle, but little by little..even if it's two steps forward and one step back, I'll eventually get to my goal.

I hope this will be true for me, too.

Originally Posted by hope for recovery

I never have to binge ever again. My sobriety to date by the grace of God is over 7 months.

Congrats to you, that is a tremendous accomplishment. I hope it will be true for me someday, too.

[Lizaly]

Originally Posted by ladycarbivore

Today
I plan on doing a 2 day cleanse this weekend to counteract any weight I might gain from today's mishap. That means 2 whole days with no food, just ingesting fluids every 4 hours. It will be very difficult.
.

I am sorry you're feeling so bad. Just don't give up.
Did you ever try just eating normal the following day? Without saving any calories to make up for the binge? Just eating very clean, healthy foods?
I ask, because in my experience that is what works best on the long run.
Not eating is horribly difficult. You would suffer and feel deprieved and bad. It's not healthy at all either. And personally, it would set me up for another binge. We're often caught in that cycle. Binging, eating too little, binging again because of not having eaten enough.
I bet you feel bad enough. You don't need to punish yourself any more. Be good to yourself.

[pink1gloss]

I just want to say thank you for posting this and all the replies to it have been very helpful to me. I posted a rant before reading this and now I understand Im not the one going through this. Thank you.

[hope for recovery]

I am so sorry to hear that you have binged on food. I have few questions for you, might help you.

Are you doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result?
Can you control your food?

[hdallas78]

I am also a trying-to-reform binge eater. I have had binges where by the time it is over I can barely move and feel sick. It has been a little over a week since my last binge. I had been on a very strict 1200 cal/day diet and it just led me to failure. I have since adjusted myself to a 1300-1500 cal/day diet, and have been sure to eat 3 small meals and 3 snacks per day. I never get terribly hungry and I have managed not to touch the huge bag of chocolates sitting in my office! I have also found I am less likely to binge on days that I exercise.

People who don't struggle with this can't possibly understand what it feels like to have that unwavering compulsion to find something, anything to fill that "empty" feeling, only to find that no matter how much you eat, that emptiness is still there. I also would hide what I was eating, stop and get ice cream, chocolates, cheesecake, or a frappe' on my way home from work just to get home and eat dinner, stuff myself with junk while the bf was out of the house for one reason or another and hide the "evidence." Binge Eating Disorder is a very real illness, and just as much an eating disorder as Anorexia or Bulemia.

I hope you can find a way to stay on track. I am afraid that doing the fasting cleanse may just not be enough food and lead you to binge and disappoint yourself again.

I am glad there are so many people out there that do understand what it is like to battle this addiction. I hope that this board will be a good source of support for you during your journey.

[ladycarbivore]

It turns out that I didnt end up doing the 2 day cleanse.

I got about halfway through saturday and thought, gee this is ridiculous. I'm too hungry and there is no way I'll make it 2 days without any food.

Yesterday I ate a bit too much, nothing close to a binge thankfully. I did end up hitting the treadmill for 30 min anyway.

Today so far has been a success. Still tracking my food intake on Sparkpeople, and I find it helps me see what I'm actually eating.

As far as the question of doing the same things over and over again and expecting the same results...I know what needs to be done, I know how to lose weight it's just really hard to stick to it and stay on track. Everyday is a battle, I almost always crave carbs and sugar, and I haven't cut carbs completely out of my diet, but I incorporate healthy carbs with loads of fibre and try not to exceed 25g per serving. I don't know what my expectations are, all I know is that after a binge I hate myself, really angry at why I continually self sabatoge just for the quick pay off of pleasure during the eating process. All my progress (2lbs) last week all came back I'm sure.

I have to take one day at a time, enjoy my successes and hold on to the feeling of success to stave off any thoughts of failure. If I can stick to it long enough to see results again, I will be back into that healthy place that I was in only 2 months ago.

PS: If I find myself craving something sweet, I eat a couple of dates and that helps prevent me reaching for chocolate.