I can't begin to tell you how much my weight bothers me. I eat when I'm bored. I eat when I'm stressed. Ive been eating lots at night. Staying up late fighting sleep to waste time on the internet. I usually wind up eating more then I should. I wake up feeling depressed. I dont wanna wake up in the morning. I just wanna sleep all day. I don't do anything productive.
But I think about all the things I wanna do all day. While Im awake, its all I do. I think about being thin again. I think about learning to play the drums, keyboard and guitar and I look up the instruments "i wanna buy" all day. But I dont do any of it. Im 315lbs. The thought of how long its gonna takE me to lose the weight I want makes me feel so depressed I can feel it in my chest. It sucks all of my energy out and I just wanna go to sleep. I cnt find motivation. Not in words, not in videos, not in anything. I dont wanna live like this anymore.
First, I commend you for looking for help. That's very brave of you. Now, you need to get some help. Find yourself a counsellor. The numbers on the scale or printed on the tags on your clothes do not define you. People bigger than yourself have learned to do many things, including play instruments. There is no weight limit for playing drums, or guitar, or any other musical instrument. If that's what makes you happy, do it. Because we all deserve a little happiness in our lives. I really hope you make it over this bump in the road and find some love for yourself. You don't earn that by losing weight, you deserve it because you are a human being. Good luck to you!
You sound so down, I'm so sorry you're feeling this way!
I would get some help, if you can. But if you can't or are unwilling to go see a counseler (which I totally understand, I need to go myself and have been putting it off because it terrifies me), there are other things that you can do while you get your courage up.
I would start with small goals. Think "Okay, I will eat healthy for one meal today". The next day, move it up to two meals. Then plan a day of healthy foods, then two days. Find meals that you like to eat but that are healthy. Get rid of all the junk food in your house, or even the healthy food that you eat too much of. If it's there, you'll just eat it. Reward yourself with non-food rewards. Take a walk (it can be as short as just a few minutes, you'll work up to more).
Remember, every little bit helps! You can do this, that inital push is hard, but you'll feel SO good from it, it will help keep you going.
And if you need more support--we're here! This is a great place to come to talk about all the issues/concerns/crazy irrational feelings that come both with being overweight and losing weight. Check out the rest of the forum and find a board that is good for you (I stick around this one and the 100lbs club--everyone is crazy nice and motivating!).
I can't begin to tell you how much my weight bothers me. I eat when I'm bored. I eat when I'm stressed. Ive been eating lots at night. Staying up late fighting sleep to waste time on the internet. I usually wind up eating more then I should. I wake up feeling depressed. I dont wanna wake up in the morning. I just wanna sleep all day. I don't do anything productive.
But I think about all the things I wanna do all day. While Im awake, its all I do. I think about being thin again. I think about learning to play the drums, keyboard and guitar and I look up the instruments "i wanna buy" all day. But I dont do any of it. Im 315lbs. The thought of how long its gonna takE me to lose the weight I want makes me feel so depressed I can feel it in my chest. It sucks all of my energy out and I just wanna go to sleep. I cnt find motivation. Not in words, not in videos, not in anything. I dont wanna live like this anymore.
I got a little teary eyed reading this as it sounds a lot like me!! I am so glad that you have joined here and I hope that support can help us both on our journey!
There's nothing worse than staying stuck in the same train of thought. Time to take a deep breath and accept that it's going to take a lot of work and effort on your part to get to where you want to be. It's not going to fall into your lap.
That being said, there is nothing more empowering and motivational than to get yourself ready to take on the challenge! Find a diet or way of eating that appeals to you and give it your full attention to detail. Take a walk everyday until you feel better and you gravitate towards doing some activity that you like.
It's much easier to do if you take one change at time and work it well before moving onto the next. For me, it was just writing down everything I ate for a week to see what I really was eating. I wrote down every bite so that I could honestly see just what I was doing. Then I knew what I needed to do.
Approaching it with an open mind and with the thought that you are helping yourself get to your goals will help get you up and out of the overwhelming feelings of hopelessness with your weight.
Its ok to feel the way you do . i sometimes have my days as well. i actually found an outlet. Kick boxing. now i know its not for everyone. but it relieves stress. helps with weight. and can tire you out enough that you dnt have to worry about insomia. when you get active to do something your mind will be somewere new!!! i call i my happy time. even now when i go running i close my eyes for a couple seconds. and picture a great moutin and a river and birds singing. find an escape. you will be ok
I know it's hard....but if you can just get started! As you see a few pounds start to come off each week, you'll be inspired to get a few more & a few more! I think starting to learn the keyboard would be great! It would help occupy your mind & you'd have less time to think of food! There's lots of good information here & support! Wishing You the Best!
I am wondering if it might help you not to think of the total weight you want lose, but maybe to say I want to lose 10lbs, then work toward that goal. That is what I do, but I go by 5's... I just like to Anyway, it makes the weight I need to lose look and feel more doable. Just like the old saying 'how do you eat an elephant, one bite at a time'... same goes for weight.
Hope you are feeling better soon!!
I am wondering if it might help you not to think of the total weight you want lose, but maybe to say I want to lose 10lbs, then work toward that goal. That is what I do, but I go by 5's... I just like to Anyway, it makes the weight I need to lose look and feel more doable. Just like the old saying 'how do you eat an elephant, one bite at a time'... same goes for weight.
Hope you are feeling better soon!!
Great way of thinking. I know I can get completely overwhelmed with the overall goal....then I get down fast and get off track etc. Small goals are the way to go!
Struggling So Bad
Anyway, it makes the weight I need to lose look and feel more doable. Just like the old saying 'how do you eat an elephant, one bite at a time'... same goes for weight. 
