I've realized that my eating habits seem to follow one destructive cycle:
1. Eat mostly "normally" and healthy food.
2. A. Let myself splurge "JUST a LITTLE bit" on a sweet treat.
OR
2. B. Feel an uncontrollable urge to eat because of an overwhelming and difficult to identify emotion, and thus, I eat.
3. Struggle through intense cravings for additional sweet treats, whether or not I fully intend not to give in. (Are these physical, or just mental?? They're just so STRONG!)
4. Feel discouraged at my weakness if I gave in or even if I didn't because the nonstop cravings wear me out quickly even if I do resist them.
5. Start binging out of frustration, impatience, and intolerance to cravings.
6. The start of a binge propels me to continue out of shame, feelings of "I'm just evil, helpless, and addicted to food," and my perfectionistic desire to complete a task (in this case, a destructive one)
7. Unsure of when to stop, I eventually do because I feel sick from sugar overload, sick from an overly stuffed stomach, my food of choice runs out, I decide I NEED to go to bed because I am overly fatigued, I feel I'm about to get caught, or I finally put my foot down and say "enough's enough!" (or some combination of these things)
8. I either resolve that this will never happen again and make small steps to ensure this is the case (e.g. joining this forum
), or I secretly plot another binge episode for the future because I am in denial or throwing in the towel because I feel like my situation is hopeless.
9. Maybe start eating healthy again...
And so the cycle continues....
Can anyone relate? How can I break free from this destructive pattern?! Please offer me your assistance! My weight is steadily climbing and I'm getting more discouraged.....
And so it continues....
Dhani 
