Very close to bingeing.
 

I have been somewhat good lately---avoiding sugar, wheat, flour, etc. But, since yesterday, I have been having some wontons in homemade soup---a big no-no, but I try to rationalize it by the fact that I only eat 2 at a time, and the broth is low in calories. I know that it is still eating something I should not.

I also had to buy a sports drink today---a healthier version from the local health food store that doesn't have all of the stuff that the name brands does. I just felt like the water and tea and coffee and almond milk wasn't cutting it, in terms of having that desire to have something to drink. I even broke down and bought milk---I think my body needs a drink that has a high amount of protein if it has a significant amount of carbs.

I have a relative who I have been worried about for a while, and recently I learned some hurtful news---I did so much for this relative, and they are acting like I don't exist and it is hurtful. I think that issue, plus my relationship issues, and detoxing off of sugar is just making me a bit frazzled. I am overeating a bit on the healthier foods (nuts, soup), and just trying to not give in to my desire to go and buy a gigantic sandwich that is well known in my city for being yummy and humongous.

Sigh.

(((((MilliondollarBBW)))))

I'm sorry you are going through so much stress. :hugs:

A.

Milliondollar - Sorry to hear you've had so many troubles, too.

I have some thoughts: You said you are "avoiding" foods with sugar, flour, etc, but also said wontons are something you "should not" eat. First of all, you never said you couldn't have ANY flour, right, just that you're avoiding it? A couple wontons doesn't sound like it's unreasonable or anything you have to rationalize. Secondly, I think it's so natural to crave something you're avoiding. Maybe you could step down the amount of sugar you eat a little each day so you're not going cold turkey. It may be the shock to the system that's sending you reeling. Whatever you decide to do, just take it easy on yourself and stay positive! You can do it! :cheer2:

The most important thing I know about myself is there can't be ANYTHING that I CANNOT have. I just have to learn moderation. It's totally okay for me to have chocolate, but I should have a square of Dove dark chocolate and not chocolate cake. I can have cake at parties, but I should have half a piece instead of two pieces.

Don't restrict yourself so much you feel trapped! Good luck hanging in there :)

I think that if I were better with moderation, then I wouldn't be at the weight I am. For me, if I keeps things very low in the amount of servings, then it helps me to avoid it. But I can't do that with all kinds of food. I can only do it with some foods.

I think I am just having some emotions and the cravings are normal. I just have to get the sugar and other bad eating habits out of my system.

I am so hoping that I can lose some weight soon...if I do, then i will feel more encouraged. I feel like being able to get control of my weight will help me to feel more empowered in other areas of my life.

*HUGS*

You know your body and your triggers better than anyone--but I'm sure you will be able to do whatever you need for YOU.

Thank you everyone! I cannot express how much this site helps me to stay focused.

I am down 2lbs today---my first real glimpse at weightloss in a long time! Yay!!!! I am sooo happy! I hope the scale shows the same weight tomorrow or shows even less!

I am trying to stay focused on that accomplishment, rather than on the fact that the more I try to improve, the more it is ignored by some. It seems like they are so blatant in their dislike that maybe they don't even realize that that is how it is coming across. Is that possible? I just feel like I am trying so very, very hard, and I keep getting treated as if I am not able to accomplish things. :(

Hooray! Isn't it great to see those lbs go down for once?! Keep up the good work and try not to beat yourself up on wontons and such. ;)

Today was hard. I was possibly going to spend time with the x, but he changed his plans and so, I was left with the option of just going home or spending time with my friends. they didn't seem too interested in hanging out which is hard because i didn't want to go home and be alone.

I ended up eating half a chicken breast with lots of sauce and pigging out on corn chips--mind you, they were blue corn and a bit healthier, but still.

I am just feeling kind of weird and down, and if I had a binge food in the house, I probably would have eaten it----plus, I am watching food shows on tv, so, I don't think that is good. But, part of me feels like watching food shows is enjoyable, even if I am not able to eat the food they are showing.

Sigh.

Weekends are hard for me diet wise, so I am hoping to be good this weekend.

Funny thing with me is that I think weekDAYS are worse because I eat from stress. So, weekends tend to be better. Weird how our brains work. Good luck this weekend!

I didn't bring enough to work to eat today, and now I am getting really hungry, and the local drive thru is calling to me....sigh. I even checked to see how many calories and carbs are in a specific item. But, I worry about the meat quality. Sigh. I am trying to ignore eating until I get home---which means dealing with traffic as well as grocery shopping. :(

I am up 2 pounds or so because of TOM and a bit irked by that, but I am hoping that once tom is on vacation, then maybe the weightloss will continue?

I am having really strong cravings right now---not just a brief thought about a favorite trigger food, but really, a contemplation of buying something I should be completely avoiding (like a doughnut or bagel). And I feel so close to just giving in....it is a weird feeling and I am trying to avoid those cravings. I do feel like if I give in to that craving, then it will be a slippery slope. I also want to make it to 21 days of not having that kind of food, AND I want to get below 310lbs---which I don't think I have been for maybe more than a year or 2 now.
:^:

How about a veggie sammich thing from Subway. When you want to eat, can you find something that's a better choice and still fills the void? That has been helping me a lot. Don't think about what you CAN'T have. Focus on what you CAN have and then work it out so you CAN have something that fits into what you want and what is good for you.

*HUGS* and best of luck!

Barb

Originally Posted by angelskeep:
How about a veggie sammich thing from Subway. When you want to eat, can you find something that's a better choice and still fills the void? That has been helping me a lot. Don't think about what you CAN'T have. Focus on what you CAN have and then work it out so you CAN have something that fits into what you want and what is good for you.

*HUGS* and best of luck!

Barb

Thank you, Barb. :) :hug::hug:

Subway is not an option right now as I am avoiding bread. I wanted a smoothie this morning, but am not sure if any store nearby has one that isn't filled with some type of added sugar (either in the dairy base, etc.).

I have my lunch with me, but didn't make enough protein. When I get home I will eat more protein. :)