Very close to bingeing.
 

I have been somewhat good lately---avoiding sugar, wheat, flour, etc. But, since yesterday, I have been having some wontons in homemade soup---a big no-no, but I try to rationalize it by the fact that I only eat 2 at a time, and the broth is low in calories. I know that it is still eating something I should not.

I also had to buy a sports drink today---a healthier version from the local health food store that doesn't have all of the stuff that the name brands does. I just felt like the water and tea and coffee and almond milk wasn't cutting it, in terms of having that desire to have something to drink. I even broke down and bought milk---I think my body needs a drink that has a high amount of protein if it has a significant amount of carbs.

I have a relative who I have been worried about for a while, and recently I learned some hurtful news---I did so much for this relative, and they are acting like I don't exist and it is hurtful. I think that issue, plus my relationship issues, and detoxing off of sugar is just making me a bit frazzled. I am overeating a bit on the healthier foods (nuts, soup), and just trying to not give in to my desire to go and buy a gigantic sandwich that is well known in my city for being yummy and humongous.

Sigh.

(((((MilliondollarBBW)))))

I'm sorry you are going through so much stress. :hugs:

A.

Milliondollar - Sorry to hear you've had so many troubles, too.

I have some thoughts: You said you are "avoiding" foods with sugar, flour, etc, but also said wontons are something you "should not" eat. First of all, you never said you couldn't have ANY flour, right, just that you're avoiding it? A couple wontons doesn't sound like it's unreasonable or anything you have to rationalize. Secondly, I think it's so natural to crave something you're avoiding. Maybe you could step down the amount of sugar you eat a little each day so you're not going cold turkey. It may be the shock to the system that's sending you reeling. Whatever you decide to do, just take it easy on yourself and stay positive! You can do it! :cheer2:

The most important thing I know about myself is there can't be ANYTHING that I CANNOT have. I just have to learn moderation. It's totally okay for me to have chocolate, but I should have a square of Dove dark chocolate and not chocolate cake. I can have cake at parties, but I should have half a piece instead of two pieces.

Don't restrict yourself so much you feel trapped! Good luck hanging in there :)

I think that if I were better with moderation, then I wouldn't be at the weight I am. For me, if I keeps things very low in the amount of servings, then it helps me to avoid it. But I can't do that with all kinds of food. I can only do it with some foods.

I think I am just having some emotions and the cravings are normal. I just have to get the sugar and other bad eating habits out of my system.

I am so hoping that I can lose some weight soon...if I do, then i will feel more encouraged. I feel like being able to get control of my weight will help me to feel more empowered in other areas of my life.

*HUGS*

You know your body and your triggers better than anyone--but I'm sure you will be able to do whatever you need for YOU.

Thank you everyone! I cannot express how much this site helps me to stay focused.

I am down 2lbs today---my first real glimpse at weightloss in a long time! Yay!!!! I am sooo happy! I hope the scale shows the same weight tomorrow or shows even less!

I am trying to stay focused on that accomplishment, rather than on the fact that the more I try to improve, the more it is ignored by some. It seems like they are so blatant in their dislike that maybe they don't even realize that that is how it is coming across. Is that possible? I just feel like I am trying so very, very hard, and I keep getting treated as if I am not able to accomplish things. :(

Hooray! Isn't it great to see those lbs go down for once?! Keep up the good work and try not to beat yourself up on wontons and such. ;)

Today was hard. I was possibly going to spend time with the x, but he changed his plans and so, I was left with the option of just going home or spending time with my friends. they didn't seem too interested in hanging out which is hard because i didn't want to go home and be alone.

I ended up eating half a chicken breast with lots of sauce and pigging out on corn chips--mind you, they were blue corn and a bit healthier, but still.

I am just feeling kind of weird and down, and if I had a binge food in the house, I probably would have eaten it----plus, I am watching food shows on tv, so, I don't think that is good. But, part of me feels like watching food shows is enjoyable, even if I am not able to eat the food they are showing.

Sigh.

Weekends are hard for me diet wise, so I am hoping to be good this weekend.

Funny thing with me is that I think weekDAYS are worse because I eat from stress. So, weekends tend to be better. Weird how our brains work. Good luck this weekend!

I didn't bring enough to work to eat today, and now I am getting really hungry, and the local drive thru is calling to me....sigh. I even checked to see how many calories and carbs are in a specific item. But, I worry about the meat quality. Sigh. I am trying to ignore eating until I get home---which means dealing with traffic as well as grocery shopping. :(

I am up 2 pounds or so because of TOM and a bit irked by that, but I am hoping that once tom is on vacation, then maybe the weightloss will continue?

I am having really strong cravings right now---not just a brief thought about a favorite trigger food, but really, a contemplation of buying something I should be completely avoiding (like a doughnut or bagel). And I feel so close to just giving in....it is a weird feeling and I am trying to avoid those cravings. I do feel like if I give in to that craving, then it will be a slippery slope. I also want to make it to 21 days of not having that kind of food, AND I want to get below 310lbs---which I don't think I have been for maybe more than a year or 2 now.
:^:

How about a veggie sammich thing from Subway. When you want to eat, can you find something that's a better choice and still fills the void? That has been helping me a lot. Don't think about what you CAN'T have. Focus on what you CAN have and then work it out so you CAN have something that fits into what you want and what is good for you.

*HUGS* and best of luck!

Barb

Thank you, Barb. :) :hug::hug:

Subway is not an option right now as I am avoiding bread. I wanted a smoothie this morning, but am not sure if any store nearby has one that isn't filled with some type of added sugar (either in the dairy base, etc.).

I have my lunch with me, but didn't make enough protein. When I get home I will eat more protein. :)

Feeling kind of weird right now. I had planned on celebrating my 21 days today, but everyone was busy, and I don't feel like going to a restaurant today alone.

I have the desire to go and shop and buy foodstuffs---but I have more than enough already.

I am trying to convince myself to do some cleaning when I get home.

I think I am just feeling a little let down because I thought I would have lost more weight by now. Also, it has been a month since I have seen my ex, and well, I think that is probably a bit why I am blue---just accepting the reality of how our new relationship is, and trying not to get bummed out about any future potential dating prospects. A friend told me to date casually, but right now, there are no fish biting and I wonder if there ever will be, ya know?

Sigh. I ate today, and I didn't feel full at the end of my lunch. I didn't feel like much of anything, other than I felt just a bit incomplete. Hmmm, that is probably a bit telling, no?

Hey it just sounds like you've been a little down these few days, so all I can say is cheer up!

The whole community here is behind you and we all know how painful it can be to be dealing with issues everyone else deals with and at the same time be losing weight.

All the way ! =)

Thank you for your support. :)

I am feeling really discouraged about the weight. My weight is still hovering at 314lbs. Ugh.

I am going to get more strict about my calories. Lately, I have not been able to stick to 1200, and have been eating more along 1600 calories, etc.

I am going to change my calories to 1300-1500 to see how I fare with that range. I also need to increase my water intake.

I am trying to deal with how I am feeling about a certain situation. I am worried because I know that when I am upset or frustrated, I end up eating, and well, just hurting my body with too much of the wrong types of food.

A friend asked me to an event, and I said yes. I wasn't completely sure about going, but I thought that it may be good. I am not sure that her friend really wanted me to go. Her friend was supposed to give me the information about how to get to the event. Her friend wasn't so forthcoming, and at times, I feel like she tried to not be clear about it purposely. that upset me a lot. I had wasted time getting ready for the event, planning my day around the event, etc. I am also upset because my friend seemed to not really notice or care about the effort I had made. Sometimes she gets focused on things in her life, having fun, and I cannot always really talk to her like I can with other friends. This is hard at times because when a person isn't available to talk to, and they are focused on things and having fun, it can be upsetting at times.

I just thought I would write out how I am feeling and maybe it will help me with avoiding any binges. I just feel really upset at my situation with my friends and I am feeling kind of alone and just, well, upset. :(

I felt very close to overeating and breaking my healthier eating today. I just started craving all of the food I am not supposed to be eating.

I think I was just generally upset today. Can't say why really, maybe hormones? I just had that browbeaten feeling. Sigh. I am not sure why I felt irritable today, maybe just not being able to turn to food as an outlet?

But, aside from some banana chips and cheese, I did ok food wise. I ate over my calories, but I thankfully didn't get something to eat that I shouldn't.

I was going to go grocery shopping, but I realized that 1) I have enough food to eat at home that I can surely throw together a meal and 2) if I got to the supermarket when I am feeling like this, then I am more likely to buy something that is not good for me.

I don't know why I am feeling the way I am, I do hope that I feel better tomorrow.

I also feel like there are some things I want to accomplish in my life, and even though I shouldn't say it, it does help to keep me motivated to think of that it may be easier for me to accomplish certain goals at a lower weight. One example would be having kids. If I weigh less, that could help to improve my chances of fertility and help me to be able to get around and have a better pregnancy if I am not carrying too much weight.

I was so hungry when I got home, I just quickly made myself some soup broth with a bit of kick to it, to quell that hungry feeling. Tomorrow, I will bring a good amount of food to work, and some fibrous veggies and hopefully that will help with the hunger.

I just so want to get to 305 or below. Wish me luck. :)

So, I have been a bit disappointed with the lack of weightloss and, I have been working a lot and not bringing my diet food with me. My schedule has been so hectic and I have been so tired that I haven't been cooking as much as I usually do.

So, here I am, hungry, not able to get food for a couple more hours, AND, I am not sure what I am going to eat for dinner or for tomorrow. And, I ate food at a friends house and ate more bread and chips than I had anticipated.

I am not sure what to eat, my lean protein is frozen, and I am on a budget and may not be able to get to my fave supermarket today for some healthier food options. Sigh. :( I feel like I am close to just buying some kind of cheap food for today and tomorrow, but I don't want to start that negative pattern again.

On a positive note, I have been better at avoiding sugar than I have at avoiding bread and pasta.

You can do it! If you are on a budget- some tofu and frozen vegetables is my favorite cheap/healthy meal! If you have some soy sauce or marinade- three-four meals will cost less than $5 total! Add some frozen brown rice if you need a starch also! I live in the frozen foods section of walmart, lol Or even a lean cuisine or something? Or heat up some beans with taco seasoning, mix with salsa and brown rice and throw em on a plate of bagged salad? (poor/healthy mans taco salad!!) But they are all cheaper than fast food!

I am also on a tight budget and it does help being vegetarian, you can get healthy food cheap- just think creatively! Every nights dinner leftovers becomes tomorrows lunch for me ( I plan it that way)- maybe that will help you with bringing lunch to work? It's hard when money is tight. Your hard work is going to pay off though! I hope your week gets better and you see some big losses!

thank you, everybody! :)

I ended up not eating take out for dinner, and just got some meat from the supermarket. I will also chop up some veggies to eat for tomorrow as well. :)

I do realize that I have to be more careful with planning my food. It was so easy for me today to go to a fast food restaurant or eat some high carb food because it was nearby and cheap. I really have to make sure to cook on the days that I am home on time(lately, I haven't been coming home at the same time and haven't felt like cooking).

I ate some pasta this weekend, and it felt like my body wasn't happy about it. Also, the next morning I woke up feeling slightly congested. So, this really tells me to avoid those foods when possible.

I hope that the scale is nicer to me tomorrow. I really want to keep losing this weight. Once I get below 300lbs I know I will feel a lot better about certain things.

I have been feeling a bit blue lately, and just wanting to escape from it all. I have also been having strong cravings for intense comfort food and sweets. I am watching the scale and trying to not give into those cravings often. Just having a hard time avoiding the lure of sweets, and the comfort that they give.