What do you call it when you eat a cup (not a half-cup) ice cream, or about five or six "fun size" Reese's cups, and then stop, before it actually wrecks your diet? When you're just on the brink of a binge, but you don't quite go over the edge?
For me, a binge isn't necessarily about the quantitiy or quality of food that I eat (although sometimes it is), but more the reason behind eating it and how I felt during. Think about that. Was it planned, or was it out of control? You were able to stop, so that certainly counts as something positive!
I wouldn't necessarily worry too much about defining something as a binge or not. Instead, just be aware of what you're eating, how healthy it is, and why you're eating it.
There is such a fine line. You have to learn where your line is. For me, it's definitely a state of mind, rather than a set quantity.
I'll take you through it. Maybe it will help.
I decide I will have some of something that's an unusually attractive food -- something that really sings out to me. This food somehow has an aura around it, almost a certaing glamour. It is intensely desirable. It's not like food I'd be eating more as fuel.
And it's soooo good. A moment of bliss. It makes me want to prolong the pleasure it has brought to me.
At that moment, if I am fortunate, I have a moment of self-awareness that I am in a fragile place & that I have choices. I can dive into oblivion & have more, without surfacing for several minutes, just losing myself in eating ... OR .... I can stop there, and tell myself yeah, it was good, but it was just food, and there'll be more later, and other food will come along.
If I choose oblivion & then, a couple mouthfuls later, say to myself, "Wait. What are you doing?" and STOP, then I have begun a binge, but have pulled myself out of the skid, as it were. There was no big crash. I did skid, but I did not crash.
If I choose to keep on eating, watching myself in horror, as a divided consciousness, but feel **powerless** to stop it, then I am definitely in a binge.
And there's a stage beyond that: If I am not even able to gain the distance on my behavior to observe what I am doing & know it for what it is, if I am simply eating & eating mindlessly, that's the worst. That is also definitely a binge. And just as worrisome as feeling powerless, because it also shows lack of self-knowledge & inhabiting my feelings.
This is how the whole process works for me. Sad experience informs this description. I don't know if it would be the same for you.
For me, I would call it a SLIP and would be very thankful that it didn't lead to a binge. I'm more prone to have a binge for a few days after a slip. You don't have to have anything fancy to journal or right your food in. Just a cheap notebook, WordPad on the computer is what I use, or just a piece of paper.
Yeah, I'd call it a slip, too, but DEFINITELY not a binge. =) That's so awesome you were able to stop there, omg those Reese's are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good.... They're one of the only non-dark chocolate chocolatey things I like. During finals weeks, I've been known to VERY easily eat 10+ at one sitting.
A cup of ice cream, as well, is like a serving size. A half cup of ice cream, meh, I don't even see what the point of that is lol.
You know, I think writing in a journal is a good idea but I don't do it just because I'm not big on doing stuff like that. I feel better if I talk it out with someone or think about it. But again, that's me!
"Slip" is a good word for it. Thank you for the insight, chickies.
I am disabled and attending a program to train me in job skills and get me back into working. Lunch is provided, which so far has been healthy, but yesterday the cook underestimated the number of people who would be eating. Lunch was meager, and afterwards donuts were set out for people who wished to indulge. I was hungry. I indulged.
I'm diabetic, yet I ate three donuts before I found my food brakes and came to a halt. Two cinnamon and one powdered.
Later I went to the gym. Thanks to a new trick I've discovered--listening to a CD while exercising--I worked out harder than usual. Afterward I checked my blood glucose level. To my amazement, it was 152. I then realized, had I not exercised so hard, my glucose level would have been atmospheric. Yet if I hadn't eaten the three donuts, I would have experienced a tremendous drop after exercise. It all balanced out in the end.
I'm thinking perhaps I should begin bringing my own lunch.
I take my lunch almost all the time for two reasons - I'm a broke student (lol) and I need control. When I binge, I feel a loss of control and I feel like it's hard to gain that control back. I don't just mean control of food, but control of everything. If I'm in control of things that I actually can control, my odds of binging are much lower... I'm often on the receiving end of these free food things, and I always get screwed over - I'm always starving when they put a lunch box with a sandwich, chips, a piece of fruit, a cookie, and a candy bar. That's NOT healthy! By bringing my own lunch and keeping a few healthy snacks at my desk, I can control my hunger and cravings. I don't ever get hungry enough that I want, for example, 3 donuts.
You know there are times I still binge. The difference now is that I DO THINK about it. I am aware when I am doing it. I take responsibility for it. I also try to monitor my body afterward. When I eat crap I usually wake up the next morning feeling like crap and not feeling as confident as normal. But, I also don't binge to the extent I did "back in the day." I certainly don't do it as frequently. Before I started my new life it was probably 3 times a week.
I try to find something else to do when the binge comes on. If I can, I leave the house and go shopping. If I am at home and can't leave, I try to call someone (I don't like to eat on the phone) or clean the house. It helps some. I wish I could sit here and tell all of you I never binge and will never binge again. Unfortunately, that would be a lie.
ETA: I do notice one thing for certain. After a day I binge, I am usually not hungry the next day so I take it really easy on the calories. I never, ever knew that before I began taking note of the way my body reacted to food.
Last edited by Thighs Be Gone; 01-21-2010 at 09:23 AM.
for me journals are very helpfull, cause u get to see what u been eating. And if u treat yourself one day, u can see if u really deserved it b/c of what u been eating be4 then
But im glad u stopped yourself!! U got will power!!
It is really good that you stopped yourself though Well done for that.
I'd call it a slip generally, but a mini-binge/binge if it was due to lack of control. But the fact you stopped means I'd call it a slip. If you do feel yourself losing control, try and distract yourself with something else.
Last night I deliberately ate a sundae that I had "budgeted" for. But today I finished every bit of chocolate we had in the house. Not that we had a whole lot. About eight miniature candy bars is what it amounted to. But it was definitely with the out-of-control feeling.
My grandmother is dying. She raised me. I'm in Washington, she's in Kentucky, and I can't get there. She's 92 and ready to go, but....
Mini-binges? Or what?
She's 92 and ready to go, but....
