[Lizzie2010]

Ughhh, after all that great news yesterday, today is the Monday from you-know-where. The weather is such crap here in central Illinois, it's so freaking gray and gloomy, rainy and foggy... Who wants to go out and exercise in that? So, I reasoned I'd go back to the gym today. I had my whole day planned out (something I don't typically do because my day is so unpredictable anyway, as you'll soon read)...

I was supposed to be in the lab all day. I got there in the late morning and as it worked out, I was able to finish up around 1PM. But by the time I finished up, the post-doc in my lab wanted me to redo an experiment that I spent so much time on last week, when there was no school and I actually had time. I hate being in the lab so much, I love the people but it's something I'm only doing to graduate with distinction. I want to go to PA (physician assistant) school a year after I graduate and that, fortunately, has NOTHING to do with research.

So, I got home... I was so angry and I was absolutely starving, as I had planned on exercising around noon (break) and eating around 1. I was going to come home and exercise but by that time, I was just too hungry to care, so I ate lunch and decided to exercise around 4 (I really have to wait about 3 hours). I have a meeting to go to tonight, and I very stupidly agreed to bring dessert so I baked some cookies. *I did not eat any yet!* That took up time, which led me up to a 3:30 appointment that the other person never showed up for... Which means I wasted 40 hours total of driving across town. My boss also made me angry - I adjusted my schedule for her so that I could work more (she needs more help) but instead of saying, "Thanks, I appreciate it!" she got upset with me for the 3 days I requested to not work this semester. THREE FLIPPING DAYS. I resent her so much, I resent accomodating her need for more help.

I'm so angry, SO SO SO SO angry, at people for wasting my time today. I'm so angry for having to change my plans so much. Part of it's my fault, I know, but I'm too angry to actually believe that right now lol. And I'm at ZERO motivation to go to the gym. I'm in such a bad mood and I know that there's a 95% chance of BINGE when I get so angry. So, thanks for reading, lol, this was very therapeutic and I feel better already. I guess I can already see some triggers for binging...

[HealthierLori]

I don't blame you one bit for being angry! It seems to me like life is just impossibly hard sometimes.

I was remembering back when I was a soldier going through AIT after Basic Training. Those were some long days for me - up around 3:30 in the morning and go go go all day until about 5 in the evening.

And one day, we failed barracks inspection. Which meant we had to spend that evening not doing what we wanted - resting, calling loved ones back home, etc. - but scrubbing away.

We weren't happy. As she looked out over our glum faces, our Platoon Sergeant, who was from the deep south and had a beautiful, distinctive way of phrasing things, said, "People - it BE'S that way sometimes. Not ALL the time, but SOME of the time." And for some reason that made us all smile and we just did the work that we had to do.

And to this day, I still hear her voice in my head when life gives me more garbage than I want, or something is unfair, or things are just impossibly hard....it be's that way sometimes! And I smile and know that tomorrow will be another day. And with any luck, it will be a better day.

Anyway telling you that silly story in the hopes that it will help a little.

[Lizzie2010]

LOL thanks Lori, you know you're totally right.... It BE'S that way sometimes. I guess I like everything to run smoothly and perfect, I want to maximize productive time and minimize wasted time... But things can't be perfect all the time, I really need to understand that.