Ok. Today has not been going my way. Nothing major, just stupid little things. It makes me realize how much I feel a need to be in control. When things don't go the way I had them planned in my head, I just shut down.

Right now I'm feeling frustrated. I need to restructure my plans for the evening and I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it. What am I not not NOT doing? OPENING THE PANTRY DOOR.

You can do it Iris....stay away from that pantry. I'm in the middle of a bit of a crisis. I binged on Saturday night for no reason (I'm sure there is a reason, but it's buried so deep in my subconscious I can't find it!). I got back on plan Sunday, no problem. But today, there is a candle party going on in my house. The table is loaded down with pastry-like items and Chex mix that I have a hard time avoiding. I've already had a handful of the Chex mix. I feel so weak...I wish this were just a matter of will-power. I'm sorely lacking in will power right now.

Remember that this emotion is temporary and the pay off of being healthy is forever!!! YOU CAN DO THIS! Walk around your whole house as many times as it takes, just go in a room turn on some music and wiggle, dance and move! you might just laugh!:hug:

foxxy, Just turn into a maniac and throw all the food in the trash.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, No but seriously, Let yourself has something, just a portion and it will be better than going nuts and then eating a bunch! Walk around the room talking to people, smell the candles, chew on ice, do what ever you can to make your mind focus on something else! YOU CAN DO IT!!!

I just love this thread! You ladies are so strong and I definitely will be coming here for support!!! It's so hard when my little sister can sit there and eat french fries and chicken nuggets and I'm trying to focus on my salad....

foxxy - how did last night go?

lulu - welcome!

I got through last night with out bingeing and I'm so happy for that!

I'm joining up too! I THOUGHT I could make it through last night without binging (which would be my first day in a long time), but finally caved about 8:00. Gee, wonder why I didn't sleep well last night? Today will be better -- because tomorrow I want to post that I had ONE DAY WITHOUT BINGING.

Is this a thread/forum for bulimics, too?

I would say yes, you are certainly welcome to participate! I didn't start the thread, but as a binge eater who progressed to bulimia, you can use the place to overcome binging.

I'm not in a binge emergency yet, but I kind of feel like I will be in a day or two! There were cupcakes at work and I managed to contain myself around them (2 bite-sized cupcakes), but I kept having visions in my head of taking the whole box into the bathroom and eating them ALL -- where nobody could see me (not that I actually would at work). I'm embarrassed about that... but I wanted to get it out in the open...

Anyway, I'm starting to get a nagging feeling -- a feeling that I SHOULD be binging, almost! Does anyone else get this? Binging is such a normal habit for me that I kinda feel like something's wrong. I feel like I could use some reassurance that this is a normal feeling when you first break out of the binging habit. It is, isn't it? Does the feeling of "But I SHOULD binge, that's what I do" ever pass?

Well, I'm sorry to report that it did not go well Monday night. And I am so frustrated by the fact that it didn't. And I had every intention of being on plan yesterday. And I was...up until I went out to dinner after class with some friends. Bad choices at the restaurant led to bad choices later in the evening. Really, really bad choices. I'm just so upset that I let myself do this to myself. Why is it so hard for me to stop? How come other people can make a decision to not binge and stick with it? What's wrong with me that I can't do the same thing?

But, Duqserb and Iris, I'm glad to hear that you guys were binge-free! That's awesome and really inspiring!

Skyra, I know exactly what you mean. I get that feeling to. What's worse is, I also get the feeling that I "deserve" to binge because I've been so "good" for a few weeks. That's total nonsense and I realize it, but that doesn't stop me from thinking it. If anyone has any tips or tricks on stopping that line of thinking..let me know!

Hope everyone is having a good day! Tomorrow is my weigh-in day and I was going to skip it. But I realize that ignoring the scale won't erase the three days of binging I had this week. So, I'm going to be accountable to myself, my actions, and you guys and weigh-in tomorrow. I know it'll be bad, but hopefully taking ownership and facing my actions/choices will help me move on and make better ones next time.

Thank god, i have gotten past the worst of food binging. i was so bad in the evenings, i was in such denial. It never even occured to me what i was really doing. Thanks to this board, it sunk in one day and i've not looked back.


Once in a great while, i'll have a bad evening but this board saved my life and my figure.

Why do we have the desire to eat when no one is looking? My dh went off on travel this week and I stopped off at the store and picked up a 1/2 gallon of ice cream (it was on sale you know) and a package of chocolate chip cookies (no sale, paid full price for it). It's not something I would do when he's around, I wouldn't dream of eating a 1/2 gallon of ice cream if anyone was looking. But since no one was looking.....

So, it didn't turn out as bad as it could have, about 1/3 of the way down into the ice cream I realized I was getting slightly nauseous what with the cookies I'd been eating. I put everything up and didn't get anything else the rest of the day. I feel kind of proud of myself that I didn't eat the entire 1/2 gallon in one sitting-it actually took 3 days but hey, it's an improvement for me. And I still had cookies left. I brought then into work to share with my coworkers.

Sarah in MD

Do you ever feel like you are standing on a mental ledge and have to find somebody to talk you down?!

I was having this obsession with an over-sized chocolate chip/M&M cookie that DD brought home from a birthday party and has been working on eating piece by piece (and would be devastated if I ate it) and I just could not stop thinking about it. I was trying to calculate how much I could break off or sneak, or claim broke off when it "fell" I mean its just ridiculous....

...and then my sister called and I talked with her for 30mins or so..... and this "need" just kinda passed.... and now I feel pretty silly

lost -- that's exactly how I feel. People have told me "most food cravings disappear in 2 minutes, just do something else and it'll be gone before you know it" but that's not how it works for me, at least not when I'm stuck on something. I have had times where I have literally fought going to get chocolate (or whatever) for HOURS. It gets very tiring. And usually I cave in because I think, well, if I've wanted it this long, I must really want it, and I shouldn't be TOO mean to myself...

Silly brain. Oh well, I'm working on rewiring my brain where food is concerned. That's what's important, right?!

lost, I do know what you mean! Good thing your sister called =)

sarahyu and Skyra, I also have these needs to eat without being seen - some days I find myself hoping my roommates won't be home when I get home so I can raid the fridge. I am trying to make myself stick to eating in the dining room rather than sneaking back to my room with food but it's hard sometimes!

Hello to everyone else - I hope you have a very strong day tomorrow!

day four
 

I am getting so close to finishing my 4th binge-free day. I am starting to feel less bloated and I feel good. I had a really early dinner, though, and now I am heading home to a empty house...I am hungry so I know I need to eat something and I hope it is healthy...I have to make a plan before I get home or I will be in trouble.

I've made it through 4 days! YAY! :carrot: That is the longest I've gone without binging in a long while.

Still feel the urge to binge but I'm still fighting. Karen -- dugserb -- iris -- so glad you're in with me on this!

Tuna--what a great idea! Too bad I didn't see your post BEFORE I ate. I had a 1/2 sandwich with peanut butter and honey. Not exactly low calorie, but I didn't stand there and eat the peanut butter straight out of the jar and I didn't get that crazy rush feeling. It feels foreign, but I think this is how a normal person eats. (eat when you are hungry, pick relatively healthy choices, eat a reasonable amount, don't get obsessed, don't get too excited--it just food, etc.)

Day Four: not too bad and no binges for me!

I'ts funny how knowing I'm not alone, that other people have this strange desire to eat everything in sight sort of makes me feel more in control. Does anyone else feel this way?

Before, it was a deep dark secret that I felt no one else could understand. But talking with you guys I realize that others do understand and I'm not as odd as I believed. And somehow it gives me more power over my eating. ???? The mind and emotions are very strange.

Sarah in MD

I am so screamingly frustrated! I had a binge that started at 8pm last night and didn't end until my DH pulled the food from my hands and asked me some hard questions! Why is this so hard? I didn't even like what I was eating, and my stomach hurt because it was to much! why!?!

...so now its binge-free day one again and time for some self examination, why is it that as I get SO close to my first goal of being under 300lbs that I keep sabotaging myself? Why am I so self destructive?! Why eat till it hurts?!

I do the same thing. I do my best and eat healthy all day long and as soon as night comes I eat and eat and eat. I eat more calories at night than I have eaten all day long. To make it worse, every night I wake up in the middle of the night and eat! It's hard to have will power at 3 am.

:hug: lost. I have had those nights... but you know, the great thing is you have an awesome attitude about starting in again right away to day - stick with that! You can do it - we're all rooting for you. =)

Sorry gal's, I have been in a "Funk" as of late, I mean I have not binged but I have been in my own world, moody ec... I think its from the lack of food, I don't know...ugh.. But I have been thinking of ordering ourlife fresh meals to my house, the ones Ruby is on? I really need to get my life under control. I think what helps is getting out of the house and i signed up for a 14 day free trial at our local gym The Rush fitness complex. I am going to go down there next Friday when we get paid. I also start school this tuesday, I'm finally getting my GED and applying for college! This week is going to be tight on funds so i think ill just go get bags of frozen boneless skinless chicken breasts and bags of veggies. we will see.... I need to make 50 bucks work for a week for myself and my hubby...

thank you!
 

I just wanted to say how grateful I am for all the online support and honesty. It really helps!:hug:

I am also a bit in a funk, the PMS is starting to get me (I usually get really moody). I usually start EATING when my emotions start getting to me like this, but I am committed to staying on plan.

I didn't make it to the gym today, which was another bummer, but so far I am on track food-wise.

I am going away for the weekend with my girlfriends and I have lots of healthy snacks packed. Wish me luck! I will let you know on Sunday how I did!!

Five days binge free!;)

Karen

Hey Ladies..not sure how I didn't see this thread before now..but I want to join if that's okay...I am doing okay the last couple of days..definitely have my times though...also, I have have LOCKED up cereal at my house...horrible it has come to this...my hubby and children all eat it and it MUST be here...so, it had to be locked away from ME and my MOUTH...

so glad you guys understand..so glad I am not alone..what the **** took us this long to come up with this thread idea??????

Christy, Karen, D...so glad to hear you girls have stayed strong! That's some inspiration I need! Today is Day 3 for me. I don't want to binge, but the urge is ever present. Why is that?

Thighs, I totally understand about food that must be in the house, yet must stay away from me. Unfortunately, my family won't lock it up...instead the jar of cookies and plate of pastries is sitting on the counter.

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

Ok. I want to eat. I need to not eat. I was still hungry and decided to grab a little more to eat before bed - started in and started justifying just bingeing and starting over again tomorrow - NO! I want tomorrow to be day 7, not day 1!!! Channeling all my strength tonight.

Hey guys... I'm sorry to admit that I binged tonight. Not on one thing in particular, but I just kept eating and eating ... no matter what I ate I still felt hungry! I think it was more of a mental hunger than a physical one... I ate almost twice the amount of food I do normally; there's no reason I should have been hungry, but I felt such a strong need to eat...

There's a good side, though: I didn't feel the usual feelings of blankness or disgust (I paid attention to what and how much I was eating); I didn't stuff myself to feeling sick; and I only ate one cookie. There was a whole bin of them, but I didn't feel nearly as strong an urge to eat every single one. Most of the food I overate on was pretty healthy, actually (like edamame).

So even though I ate far more than I needed, and will reset my counter (sigh), I'm still proud to have gotten as far as 5 days. It's also heartening to know that even after just 5 days, my binging habits have changed at least a little. And I'll get right back on track.

Iris, I hope you made it through binge-free ... same for the rest of you. :hug:

I agree with D, Skyra...it's great that you're recognizing the changes in your bingeing -- I wish I could do the same! And I'm glad to hear you didn't feel disgusted with yourself...there was no reason for you to! You're human and WILL make mistakes...learning from them is the most important part and it seems that you have.

Iris, I hope you had a good night last night!

Today is Day 4. I'm a little stressed out and that's never good for my eating habits, but I can and will control what goes in my mouth! Have a good, binge-free day everyone!

dugserb and foxxy -- thanks so much for the support. :hug: My head is definitely still in the game... weekends are the hardest for me... here's to going today binge-free!!

Hey Ladies. Way to work it for all of us. I am so glad we have this thread.

Doing okay so far. I didn't exercise this morning BUT I cleaned house. I am enjoying some egg whites, brocolli and tomatoes now with some parmasean.

Going out w the hubby today. Babysitter is on her way. I am so glad he supports me on this. He KNOWS when we go out together that my dietary needs are paramount. If we eat he always suggests "safe" places that have good choices for me! I have to also brag here and say that hubby spent the week in NYC. He got to go to Central Park every day! He said it is beautiful and amazing right now--but that it was nothing without me! I am such a lucky gal! It made me want to cry.

Sorry, I had to write it somewhere. Now returning to your regularly scheduled "Just say NO to the BiNgE" thread!!

Aw, Thighs, your DH is so sweet! I hope you have fun on your outing!