Actually, it's been 8 days! I've only been back to "dieting" for 8 days and already I can zip up my size 13 jeans! (Down from a 15/16 - having to buy jeans in that size is what made me wake up and nip this in the bud before I got too out of control). I went from a size 15/16 to a size 7/8 at HOLLISTER (read: much smaller than a true size 7/8) in my teens, and now, at 23, I've found myself back to where I started from (not as bad, though, but getting pretty close). So I've jumped back into the weight loss (minus hitting the gym, I know it's backwards but I want to lose a little bit of the weight before I get into that. All I've been doing is walking the dog 2x a day).

I have to say though, I'm actually having trouble eating ENOUGH food and eating meals often enough. Like yesterday, all I had was a baked potato with steamed broccoli and later, half of a Lean Cuisine. It's like it HAS to be one extreme or another with me. When I'm in binge mode, it can get pretty bad by my standards, or possibly anybody's. When I'm in "weight loss" mode, which once lasted for 4 years, I am terrified to eat at times. I just get the feeling that every single bite of food, healthy or not, is a cheat! And I am scared to binge. It's a bad cycle because the not-eating causes the bingeing. It's so odd how in a matter of days, I can go from hitting three fast food places a day to not even allowing myself to finish a 280 calorie Lean Cuisine!

Pisces. I totally understand where you are coming from. I got to the point where if I felt full--I felt like I binged/cheated.

You do need to eat more than that though. You seem like you need structure to function correctly with food. I know I did.

I hit a point in my life, I was terrified of food. I couldn't eat and if I did I would throw it up. anorexia/bulemia.

What helped me was studying nutrition. Understanding Basal Metabolic Rate, and Active metabolic Rate. Once I got numbers. I felt I had a guide. And since I understood the physiology of food alot better, I was no longer terrified everything would make me fat. (I had obese family members).

I recommend www.healthstatus.com . Better link: http://www.healthstatus.com/calculate/dee Figure out your BMR and your AMR (active metabolic rate) and then use those as guides to figure out how you can eat healthily and lose weight.

For example my BMR is 2392. That is alot. Explains how I got this heavy. If you drop 1000 cs from that it is 1392. 1000*7 =7000 70000/3500 =2 lbs loss per week. Meaning I will lose 2lbs a week if I drop my caloric intake to 1392.

Trust me, I know it is a struggle to find a happy medium when you are a person who puts 100% into everything you do.

I've felt the same way when I first started dieting. I would get so bummed when I had to eat because I felt like I was tossing away all those hard earned burned off calories. But that's definitely not how it works and I realize that now. You gotta eat to lose. It's like putting gas in your car. You gotta fuel it for it to get you some where. Don't feel guilty about eating! We are humans and we have to eat.

Thanks guys.

Jendiet, you and me need to talk, girl, I want in on the Fast Five because that would probably be PERFECT for me. I HATE eating in the mornings and I have problems with eating at night (it's the only time I want to eat). I don't feel hungry until 2pm.

did you get my pm????