oh Danni, I hope you get that trip. That would be a great reward!

Ebb, honey--we're here for you. You can do it!

Meredith, i'm hoping you're having a great binge free night--maybe reading a book?

Good morning everyone!

Danni -- I too have been trying to figure out what eating does for me. It's something I feel the constant need to do, so it must be something...but I haven't figured it out yet either. But, I agree, the more I live this new lifestyle, the better chance I have of changing my behavior. Good luck planning your trip!

Ebb -- Just take it a day at a time...you can make today a good day!!

Meredith -- Oh, I am SO with you about having that urge to just sit in front of the TV and eat myself silly. And you're right, I want to be horrified by that urge, but I'm starting to think that's the wrong approach to take. So, I'm trying to acknowledge those feelings (but not act on them!) and then figure out why I'm feeling that way (I haven't figured that part out yet). Hopefully once I've figured out why I'm feeling that way, I can take steps to manage those feelings in a way that's NOT eating. Obviously all my Counseling classes in school are sinking in, haha. My professors would be so proud.

Jen -- Thanks! I can't believe its been a year already! And that's an interesting WOE!

HP last night was great! I had totally forgotten what happened in the book, so I wasn't disappointed by whatever stuff they cut out, because I couldn't remember, lol. And, I planned snacks, so I was totally prepared and had a 100 cal bag of popcorn during the movie and a granola bar afterwards when I got home late because I was hungry (okay, and few of those freaking M&Ms...arg, why can't they be gone already!) But, I saw the 150's (159.6 to be exact!) this morning, so I was excited! :carrot:

I binged yesterday. Stress of no boyfriend (seriously 5 days and no e-mail or call, I think something is up.. maybe with his job, and it's worrying me. I miss him terribly), close friends disapeared, not exercising again, not 100% if I work this week (and I had a panic attack for 3 hours trying to work up the nerve to call.. which I never did), aaaanndd I just discovered my Dad is deliberately ignoring me just kinda threw me into a day long of munching on bread and cereal. I seem to eat first before I cry. Kinda annoying. I'd rather be in tears all day then pointlessly consume food in that manner. Eh. Actually, food feels good, tears feel icky, so I guess I know where my logic comes from, lol.

Needless to say, that day was crappy but today I'm back on track with Day 1.

foxxy511 - stride gum is the only one that lives up to my expectations. Once you go stride, you never go back. :P

Bucket! Hugs darling! I am definitely recommending hot bubble baths with salts that smell good.

Another way to stop from eating with a binge. Maybe fill up on some hot tea with chamomile and a little honey. Chamomile is a natural stress reliever.

Try this bucket.

Hot bath
epsom salts (the magnesium is wonderful for depression)
lavendar salts
bubbles (any soap)

candles
a glass of ice water (in case you get too hot)
a BIG cup of chamomile tea (don't worry about the size, you will get a lot less calories from the tea than from binging.

the tea will make you so full. Don't be afraid to drink it until you feel that FULL feeling.

a lot of times when I want more to eat, I pour myself a glass of my green tea/white tea with berries blend. I drink until FULL. (it only has 20 cs/glass)

I really needed one of those on Thursday because I totally got fired from my job. Couldn't bring myself to eat at all on that day Ended up eating past what I planned on eating on Friday, but still kept it binge free. (Bread + Stress = No bueno.) Defiantly going to take up "STOP! Bath time!" as a new thing when I start getting too upset for my own good.

Ughh. Crappy week. On the brightside my boyfriend isn't dead and we're talking again. :yay:

I'm looking forward to tomorrow!!

Hope all is well for y'all.

Day threeee.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

Tomorrow will be day one again. That's all I have to say about that.

But ya know, I think I'm taking a big step just by forcing myself to come here and confess it to you ladies, rather than shying away from 3FC during my "dark" times. Right? It's so tempting just to hide my face and stop posting for a bit so I won't have to admit what I've done... Since it's so embarrassing, and makes me feel so pathetic to have to come here and talk about it every time. Ugh. But maybe if I KEEP making myself come clean every time, eventually the anticipation of the shame I'll feel later will help to motivate me NOT to do it. Here's hoping! :shrug:

OH! But on the plus side, I have decided that I AM going to call and make an appointment with a therapist first thing tomorrow (or Monday, since a lot of the offices probably won't be open on Sundays). I have looked into the places in my area that offer ED treatment, and I have high hopes... Lots of people have suggested it to me, and I really think it's time I found something to take the place of the counselor I was seeing at school last quarter. Here's hoping!

Ugh, I feel so drained. I feel like I should be happy today because it's my one-year "anniversary" since starting a healthy lifestyle, but I just feel kinda yucky, y'know? I think I'm just in a funk. Funny how I never seem to get into these sad moods when I haven't been binging... :dz:

Star2Be - I SO know what you mean. During my horrible 3 months of beginning the binging problem that was slowly seaping out of my regular diet I was doing at the time to lose weight, it was the absolute worst. I felt sad because I was binging and gaining weight... and then I'd go binge because I felt said about binging and gaining weight. I was on a calorie counting forum at the time, and I'd avoid posting my menu of the day (which was a popular thread at the time) on the days I binged and avoided posting at the binging support thread too because I felt like such a failure. I was at my happiest when I didn't even think about binging.

It's an awful cycle but you get MAJOR kudos for seeking out help since you feel you need it, and also for posting. It's embaressing, but we aren't here to judge and you're making progress. When I wasn't making much progress, I wouldn't have done what you've done, so chin up and hang in there girlie! :hug:

Therapy is good ;) Its helping me not be so hard on self and expect perfection every day. She said smthg that I found motifying the other day . . . what if you only did things at 75% of what you think is reasonable . . . I looked at her like she was mad - is that even possible I squeaked?!??!!??!?!?!!

ha!

Really wanting tonight to be my fresh start, but the binge thoughts are creeping in :( My boyfriend and I are taking a break (initiated by me while I get my life figured out). I had some things that I needed to say and I'm not very good at finding the right words, so I wrote him a letter. I sent it this morning, and he's probably at work, but the fact that he hasn't written back is making me feel really insecure and nervous. Plus, I really miss him, and this whole thing is so painful :(

Sorry you are having a tough time of it Pene - I blame 20 of my OMG! lbs on a breakup that wouldnt take . . . I really should know better at this age ;)

aww! hUGS ladies. Seems we all had a very stressful week or weekend. Dreamy. I don't know what's going on with you and bf, but I took that road "need a break while I figure msyelf out" and IT DIDN'T WORK. I was miserable. he was miserable. Plus he was hurt. I was hurt. If it gets to be too stressful, I'd welcome him back wholeheartedly. Sometimes we push the very people away God intended in our lives because we don't believe we deserve them until we're ready.

Bucket, I had a long distance secretive relationship before. And it was NERVE WRACKING! I wouldn't hear from him for days. I got impatient. Insecure. Finally, I was feeling like a "dirty secret". We had already broken up a couple of times before. And I KNEW I didn't want to do that again.

eventually we came out in the open, and his parents just accepted "we were going to be"

bucket, sorry about your job sweetie! That is rough.

Meredith, it is good for you to come out in the open and just confess. That makes you feel accountable for your actions. I am the same way either good or bad. I hope you find the therapist to be right for you. I never could get into that.

Jen - I've been doing a lot of soul searching the last few lonely nights, and I wrote DB a letter explaining to him what I was working on changing and what I felt needed to be changed about us. Being alone helped me figure a few things out that I felt like I couldn't when he was here. I got so tied up taking care of him and us that I kind of forgot about myself.
I asked him to come home last night. I'll see him when he gets off work today!!

yay! Penelope. You took the time to sort things out, and you realized you wanted him to be a part of the picture. By the way your name is so Romantic. I love it.

I romanticize mine by telling myself it came from "Gueniviere" You know the Queen that had a trist with lancelot.