Sigh , where do I start ..... well after gaining about 2 and a half stone in about 3 months and still going I am abit low I cant control my eating in the slightest.
I used to be able to I was anorexic and now I have no way to get my mindset back,
Im fed up and dissheartened, its the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing at night, I keep telling myself it will be a new day ...but that new day never happens and it still dosent work.
I dont know where I am going with this but all I know is that this site has helped before it was what helped me lose the weight in the first place and i suppose I just need remotivating.

I just wish I could get rid of the automatic calorie counter in my head and the constant need to eat , I made myself sick for the first time in about 5 monts last week I had managed to control myself for so long but I felt so bad for eating that it had to be done and tbh it felt better to of done it than not to.

Im going back into my old ways before my initial weight loss.
If anyone can give me some advice on what I can do or some insperation would be most appriciated.

Btw have had the counciling , have had the pills and they dont work for me so need new method!


In return dancing carrot

I don't have any wonder advice for you, but just wanted to let you know "been there, done that". Unfortunately, I managed to lose control to the tune of over 100 pounds. So, please do everything you can to stop yourself where you are . One day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time. Try to figure out your triggers, what emotional situations set you off and avoid/redirect whenever you can. The most important point -- never consider a slip a failure, but a learning experience. You can do this, it's not easy, but it is SO worth it. I have suffered from bulemia since I was a little girl and every day is a challenge, but I know I'm worth the effort and you are SO worth it. Good luck.

IMHO, please stick with the counselling and try some new meds. It isn't usual for one to want to go back an anorexic mindset. It really isn't healthy. And with your history of bulemia, you really really would benefit from professional intervention to just get your mind thinking straight, so that health over TIME, not scale numbers as fast as possible, becomes the goal.
You know, deep down, that if you have an anorexic thought pattern and are purging, but weigh 125lbs, you aren't healthy. And you can't sustain this. And it will kill you.
So the trick is to come to some sort of self-acceptance without judgement at your current size, and to implement any changes as lifestyle changes, to become as healthy as possible, as opposed to as thin as possible.
And to look at various healthy eating plans and find one that works for your lifestyle.

Kira